Thank you for taking the time to respond with a thoughtful answer. Short vent follows.

I made a mistake by staying in my comfort zone and sticking with the two friends I had for a long time. I felt the direst consequently this year when at my lowest point, the very friends abandoned me, citing hurts from years, even decades past and haven't spoken in months.

You're right that it's a recipe for disappointment to expect others to change. Moreover, it gets progressively harder to make good friends in life - atleast that's been my experience - you're left with less time as you get into your 30s : you cant really rush closeness or real connection. With more and more people finding a partner or starting a family you eventually turn into a bit of an outcast...

I've benefitted from therapy as well - had to stop since I was moving countries, but perhaps it's time to restart it.