Hey Reddit! There’s a lot I want to touch on to paint a thorough picture. I’ll try to approach this chronologically while being as concise as possible and I’ll leave a quick summary at the end.
Weightloss/Fitness:
From late 2016 to summer 2017, I lost around 220 lbs by changing my eating habits and drastically increasing my physical activity. Entirely ceasing going out and ordering food in favor of making my meals at home allowed me to control what was going into my food, in particular, salt content and added sugar. I spent about an hour each day, sometimes more, either walking or working out at the gym, just becoming used to which exercises felt most comfortable since I didn’t have an end goal regarding a specific weight. I didn’t have a nutritionist or trainer to guide me, the gym became a routine way of holding myself accountable for something.
I shared my weight loss on Reddit on r/loseit. I was contacted by over 100 users looking for insight on what it took to remain committed, and I explained that you don’t start losing weight with the intention of losing that much as it’s an intimidating number. You attack it in chunks aiming for something as small as 5 lbs here and there and making small changes incrementally, allowing for sustained and sizeable impact. I don’t consider myself a figure of authority so instead of telling people what to eat or exercises to do, I try to help them discover the spark that initiates to desire to change and let that drive their unique goals. Someone from Yahoo Fitness saw my post and interviewed me for a Yahoo News piece . I went on to appear on the Rachael Ray show a couple of months later to talk a bit more about my journey up until that point. I’ve since taken part in and completed a variety of road races as well as Spartans.
Kidney Donation:
In 2016 I learned through an NPR podcast that of the 100,000 people in need of an organ in the US that close to 90% of them were for kidneys. Organs from living donors last on average twice as long as those from deceased. At the time, I was still over 400 lbs but in February 2019 having lost most of that weight, I registered my interest with New York Presbyterian Weill Cornell in New York to be an organ donor. 60 days later, after undergoing thorough physical and psychiatric evaluations, I donated my kidney to a stranger. I sent a card with the organ transport for the recipient, simply saying there’s no pressure to reach out to say thank you. A couple of months later I received this letter from the recipient. The surgery lasted about three and a half hours, I was discharged after two and a half days, and back to work six weeks later, free of complications.
Before my surgery and after extensive research and internal inquiries, I learned that New York City, which I was an employee of as a civilian member of the NYPD, had no organ donor paid leave policy. even though New York State does, which mirrors a Federal policy however these policies only apply to New York State and Federal employees, respectively. I planned to lump together whatever vacation and sick leave I’d saved to get me through my recovery. The New York Daily News published an article regarding the absence of supportive donor policy. The very next day, I was contacted by the NYPD and assured they would provide paid leave because thought my actions were commendable and in line with their mission. Later that year, the Policewomen Endowment Association awarded me Humanitarian of the year.
Liver Donation:
Using the kidney donation as a point of reference, in August 2021, I registered with NYPWC as an interested liver donor candidate. Though a small number compared to people in need of Kidneys, I knew the need was still present for living liver donors and I felt physically and mentally equipped. In November of 2021, I notified the NYPD that I met the criteria to donate a part of my liver and would like to arrange similar accommodations to those that followed my kidney donation two years prior. I was given written, signed, and verbal reassurance that I would be taken care of. Around the same time, I was asked by the NYPD to attend a sanctioned organ donor-related event to engage with the media and advocate for donors.
After seven hours in March of 2022, my surgery was successfully completed and the portion taken of my liver was transported nearby to Columbia in New York and attached to the recipient. I sent a card with the same sentiment expressed to the kidney recipient wishing them the best of luck and that my only wish is that they strive to live as abundantly as possible. I was discharged after three days but was much slower to resume everyday life given the extent of the surgery and the liver needing time to regenerate.
A month after surgery, I was notified by someone in payroll that I had been placed on unpaid leave which I found odd since I was promised the leave would be taken care of. I attempted to contact the individual that drafted the letter for my leave but after unreturned calls and emails, I visited the NYPD office and days after the final document had been signed. Even with the signed approval, after months of internal misalignment, negligence, and apparent incompetence, I was denied the paid leave. When I returned to work in July I had missed four paychecks due to the mishandling of the matter I inquired and was once again given reassurance the matter would be resolved. Missing one paycheck tends to be fine, most people can adapt, but missing four bears a massive financial and mental impact.
In August, on three consecutive days, I was made aware a final decision had been made, and the leave back pay would not be issued. I was then notified I was the subject of an internal investigation regarding misuse of company time by clocking out 3 minutes early on various instances. An allegation I’ve since determined had no merit and was done for no other reason than to induce discomfort. Lastly, the hiring department informed me that I would be terminated because I had not attempted the civil service exams associated with my position. All of the clauses the NYPD cited for my dismissal were present at the time of my kidney donation, yet they acted swiftly to remedy the situation then but pivoted to attacking in this instance. I resigned from the job at the end of August, my mental health was deteriorating quite rapidly, and remaining in an institution that mistreated me this way felt subservient.
I applied for unemployment the next day, and on 12/7/22, the department of labor ruled I was ineligible to collect weekly benefits because I left the job with good cause. They had been provided all documentation to support my actions but, after taking comment from the NYPD, denied my claim.
In clear air:
If I knew before my liver surgery what would transpire following it, I would have still gone through with it. I will not and cannot let the possibility of adversity deter others from being helped. To imagine living a diminished life because you need dialysis, or weekly treatments, to imagine a family rallying behind a loved one fighting to make it to the day they get the call that they’ve been matched with a donor, is unthinkable for most of us. I’ll continue to speak on behalf of living donors, and people in need, and share my story in hopes it resonates with someone and sparks an idea within them. We’ve all needed help at some point, the mechanism behind these surgeries is no different from offering a friend a ride home or lending someone a pen. Doing something to help a person in need gives them better odds of overcoming some form of detriment.
I’m not great with welcoming help, let alone asking for it. Just before posting this AMA I made a GoFundMe, and if anyone at all would like to donate, it would be received with extreme gratitude as I continue applying for jobs in pursuit of my next role.
Living Organ Donor Resources
National Kidney Donation Organization
New York Presbyterian Weill Cornell Living Liver Donation
Summary: After losing 200 lbs, and donating my kidney and a part of my liver on separate occasions, my former employer the NYPD failed to make good on their promise to provide paid leave and instead created a hostile work environment even after they’d previously highlighted the unique nature of my actions. This resulted in four missed pay periods, I was met with hostility once I returned to work and left shortly after to take care of my declining mental health. I continue to support and mentor those seeking to become living organ donors because the preservation of life is worth it.
Additional proof submitted to mods
Edit 1: I wanted to clear up a couple of things I might not have been clear about.
I was a civilian employee of the NYPD, not a cop. Just a regular functional non-uniform employee. Cops have a form of sick leave that's indefinite, in fact, a friend of mine donated months before I did when he was an officer and didn't have any of the issues I experienced as a non-officer employee of the NYPD.
The amount of the GoFundMe is the exact amount of the paychecks I missed due to the mishandling of my case by the NYPD.
The reason me being the first black double altruistic organ donor is worth mentioning is because the community by and large bears a strong distrust of surgical procedures due to historically being experimented on. So stepping forward once, let alone twice to willingly offer a piece of themselves to someone else they might never meet doesn't align with the demographic's inclinations. It's not a claim of my genetic preference or me having a higher that average organ match rate, I'm simply an anomaly in this context.
Someone brought to light that voluntarily quitting a job automatically prevents you from receiving unemployment. This isn't true because I know of someone who was exploited at a previous role and quit. Having argued their case on the hostile nature of the job, they were able to collect weekly unemployment benefits. I provided a full and detailed history of what had transpired leading up to me leaving the job to the department of labor months ago before they made their final decision.
**Edit 2: Signing off for the night, thank you for all of the questions and love and for those that donated to the fundraiser, words will fall short of how grateful I am of your generosity. I’ll answer any new question in the morning. **
Edit 3: Back and answering questions I missed overnight
Final Edit:
Thank you for all of the questions, thank you immensely to everyone that donated to my fundreaiser no matter or large or small the amount. Wanted to add that on December 29th, 2022, New York Governor Kathy Hochul signed into law the Living Organ Donor Loss Wages act.
https://www.governor.ny.gov/news/governor-hochul-signs-new-york-state-living-donor-support-act-law