I organized both options - the people from the hospital know I want optimal symthom conrolled so if it comes sudden (eg drowning on my own blood) Ill get what I need so I don't realize it.

I joined 'Sterbehilfe' which is a society you everyone can join for money. If I decide existence is to much pain now, they basically prepare a self inflicted suicide for you. You still have to press the 'button' by yourself thought.