A genie says to an alcoholic drifter, "You have three wishes, what would you like for your first wish"?

Submitted by StraightDildo t3_11swtpw in Jokes

Drifter: I would like a bottle of whiskey that is never empty

In a flash, the drifter is holding a bottle of whiskey. He takes a few gulps from the bottle, and in a few seconds, the bottle is full again.

Genie: What would you like for your other two wishes?

Drifter: I'll have two more of these bottles please.

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Comments

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JBluehawk21 t1_jch0wk2 wrote

You could make a fair amount of money off a bottle of alcohol that never goes empty.

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Professor-Clegg t1_jci1lne wrote

“For my second wish I’d like half of a fair amount of money”

“For my third wish I’d like the other half of a fair amount of money”

Wow, you’re pretty clever! That big brain of yours isn’t just a hat rack!

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jet_heller t1_jcilgpt wrote

An infinite amount of money, one might say.

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Lord_Havelock t1_jcj75nq wrote

No, because you'll eventually oversupply the market, and your product will lose value.

Of course you could still become very rich by selling it rationally, but try for infinite and you'll either crash your business, or the entire economy.

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Groinificator t1_jcjtcnt wrote

I doubt an entire economy would crash over just an oversupply of alcohol

Also, isn't alcohol a pretty non-durable good? It's not like someone gets a single drink and is done. You can sell alcohol to the same person plenty of times...

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Lord_Havelock t1_jcktm1t wrote

Oh sure. Like I said you could absolutely make a ton of money. Just not infinite.

And as realistically unlikely as you alone crashing the global economy is, it would still happen before you got infinite money.

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jet_heller t1_jck1brl wrote

You'll only oversupply the market if you sell it off quickly. If instead, you sell several dozen to a hundred shots out of it every day in your own little bar you will never do that.

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Grantley34 t1_jcj38cd wrote

But why does he need two of them?

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theservman t1_jcjnaph wrote

Whisky, vodka, and rum.

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Grantley34 t1_jcjp207 wrote

If he had specified a different kind of liquor, sure, but he didn't, so the genie will give him exactly the same bottle with exactly the same contents

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superkoning t1_jcjbddf wrote

two? three!

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Grantley34 t1_jcjcbpx wrote

Well, if he doesn't need two, he sure as hell doesn't need 3!

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GerManiac77 t1_jcklufe wrote

With a bottle that is never empty there is a chance he’ll be pretty drunken pretty often. He may break his magic bottle. Then he had two spare magic bottles

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Petal_Chatoyance t1_jcgvqjy wrote

"And that is how, after a drunken brawl in a train yard, the earth was flooded by an ever-growing mantle of whiskey, and why we now live at the bottom of a deadly global ocean of booze."

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sevenonsiz t1_jcl31c9 wrote

To be fair, it did take a million years to happen...

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helpful__explorer t1_jcg2rpb wrote

Is that two bottles for one wish, or one wish per bottle?

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StraightDildo OP t1_jcgfgwb wrote

One bottle per wish.

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hobbes0405 t1_jcggtpp wrote

Objection.

If he could wish for $1 million in a single wish, I see no reason he couldn't wish for 2 bottles under the same terms.

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Azzoguee t1_jcgmxni wrote

Are you saying one bottle = 1/2 a million? I agree to those terms, take my money.

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Wreckful5583 t1_jcgyye3 wrote

I believe they meant if you can ask for one million dollars instead of just a singular dollar bill then you can ask for any number of the same thing in one wish, which I agree with.

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Groinificator t1_jcjtf99 wrote

He could have but he chose to use separate wishes for them

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KnightfallTV t1_jckop0z wrote

What they're trying to say is that he asked for 2 more bottles with his second wish. The hobo still has 1 more wish. Maybe he'll ask for another 3.

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Brigadius t1_jci3bx4 wrote

And the third wish?

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infinit9 t1_jchf3n4 wrote

One to burn and produce electricity, one to use as a bottling source of my own line of whiskey.

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Eyre4orce t1_jchmm5d wrote

Why not the same bottle

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infinit9 t1_jchoi3y wrote

I'm a big fan of doing three things at once. While the bottle will never be empty, the mouth of the bottle still limits how much alcohol will flow through in a given amount of time.

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Professor-Clegg t1_jci2l4s wrote

Yeah, fuck wishing for free endless electricity and a whisky business already in place with free supply, instead just get these bottles and build the rest yourself. Good thinking skip!

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infinit9 t1_jci2sot wrote

Lol, settle down. I'm following the logic of the joke's punchline.

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Khromm t1_jchudd4 wrote

So... no-one thinks the other two are for his friends?

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Advanced_Parsnip t1_jch9i11 wrote

Crap I remember Dave Allen telling this joke back in the 1970's

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BullettoothTony- t1_jchx2jj wrote

He can be a huge whiskey seller. Good ending

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Professor-Clegg t1_jci3bqw wrote

Hmmm, I could use one wish for an exorbitant sum of money... or I could spend all 3 on bottomless whiskey bottles and then try to turn it into a business.

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peter_the_martian t1_jci1nny wrote

There’s a lot of genie jokes on here lately so I’d just like to take this moment I ran into a real life genie.

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Tensor3 t1_jckd0a2 wrote

Did you fall in love and live happily until excess electromagnetic radiation caused him to start decaying?

FYI: more genie references because of recent movie

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uncre8tv t1_jcilnoq wrote

I would re-sale the liquor and make enough to have a comfortable life. Then, upon my death, I would have the city install it as a public fountain, ever pouring for my fellow citizens.

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kazey0shi t1_jcjhpez wrote

Just in case the first one breaks.

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JennyAndAlex t1_jcjibcx wrote

That was only two wishes. What about his third?

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humanRR t1_jcjodhp wrote

Certain death

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Tensor3 t1_jckcofa wrote

Well, you dont want to drink only 1 forever. The other two should be different varieties

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Professional_War2766 t1_jcl86ul wrote

To be successful in whatever I’m doing or chose to take on in life

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SpareMind t1_jcjfqu8 wrote

Yes, perfect!! Just change the brand.

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