loosererun t1_jbx6ksq wrote on March 12, 2023 at 12:21 PM

A lawyer dies and goes to Heaven.

‟There must be some mistake,” the lawyer argues. ‟I am too young to die. I am only fifty five!”

‟Fifty five?” says Saint Peter. ‟No, according to our calculations, you are eighty two.”

‟How’d you get that?” the lawyer asks.

St. Peter says, ‟We added up your time sheets.”

DidntWantSleepAnyway t1_jbxglya wrote on March 12, 2023 at 2:01 PM

I’ve somehow never heard this one! Here I was, thinking I’d heard all the lawyer jokes in existence.

MagentaKevin t1_jby875k wrote on March 12, 2023 at 5:23 PM

My personal favourite is:

A man is being interviewed at a police station. A man leans forward and says "I'm not saying anything without my lawyer present". The police officer, confused, replies "but you are the lawyer" and the lawyer says "yeah...so where's my present?"

emzirek t1_jbxxre8 wrote on March 12, 2023 at 4:11 PM

what do you call a million lawyers in hell?

a damn good start

Material_Victory_661 t1_jbxpg0m wrote on March 12, 2023 at 3:11 PM

Comes up pretty regularly. Must have slipped by.

jesusthroughmary t1_jbyb8qx wrote on March 12, 2023 at 5:44 PM

How have you never heard this one

Tempuran-San t1_jby9is9 wrote on March 12, 2023 at 5:32 PM

I don't get it, could you please explain?

deepkick120 t1_jbyavza wrote on March 12, 2023 at 5:41 PM

The lawyer’s getting paid for hours worked, but he’s recording way more hours on his timesheet than he actually worked. The lawyer’s seriously overcharging his clients - because the joke’s that lawyers suck

Tempuran-San t1_jbyfovx wrote on March 12, 2023 at 6:14 PM

Oh, okay, thanks for explaining