Submitted by My_Balls_Itch_123 t3_122r8v4 in Jokes
then he talked to the bookcase for a while, and now he's arguing with the couch!
Comments
[deleted] t1_jds09yd wrote
[deleted]
GodRa12 t1_jdsoh1h wrote
Just don't stand on the couch. It's bad manners
My_Balls_Itch_123 OP t1_jdstpvz wrote
And jumping on it will ruin your career for a little while, but then you'll come back with Mission Impossible and Top Gun 2.
HaoshokuArmor t1_jdsgrme wrote
I stand with the cabinet.
vyprrgirl t1_jdss0ys wrote
I stand with the night
Ok-disaster2022 t1_jdsshzq wrote
I stand with justice
redcat0069 t1_jdtyfiv wrote
I stand with my legs
vyprrgirl t1_jdstkjk wrote
Ok, but I can’t put my glasses on a justice stand like I can a night stand when going to bed
JBYTuna t1_jdtwkgx wrote
I stand on the door mat.
peter_the_martian t1_jdt2abv wrote
I’m standing in my living room
Oudeis16 t1_jdsu05o wrote
And I don't care where you stand, it's also funny to laugh about that time Trump tried to fuck a flag on national TV.
K16w32a2r4k8 t1_jdsr5ad wrote
True.
Doadifferentthingqd t1_jdtsqmv wrote
I stand on my legs
TonyJosephSr t1_jdu2y1z wrote
I stand on my feet...
Malvastor t1_jdtva1t wrote
I stand on my feet.
Ecstatic_Hippo_21 t1_jdtxwiw wrote
I stand on rocks
Picholasido_o t1_jdrnntj wrote
Repost it tomorrow, change the name, watch the karma just rooooll in
Hay_Blinken t1_jds0wew wrote
Yep. Welcome to reddit.
Hisbeefiness t1_jdymoas wrote
The only predictable part is that it is unpredictable
Alysdad t1_jdt9l20 wrote
I love lamp
Routine-Link-8694 t1_jdtpui6 wrote
Do you really love lamp or are you just looking around the room and saying you love things
Alysdad t1_jdtq1vf wrote
I…I love lamp
factchecker2 t1_jdtqvmt wrote
Moth has entered the chat.
shadow_peculiar t1_jdua0jt wrote
Underrated comment
Mis_Jessie t1_jdtmy9w wrote
Especially from poly-satrurated
Kind_Bullfrog_4073 t1_jds74hi wrote
Why did Mayor Pete go into the Cabinet?
​
Because he can't go back in the closet.
JADW27 t1_jdslib7 wrote
This is an awesome joke, but I'd switch it up to "Why did Biden put Mayor Pete in his cabinet? Because he couldn't put him back in the closet."
Still, I hadn't heard this before, and it's a great joke.
Status-Simple9240 t1_jdswhgb wrote
democrat but still lmao
JBYTuna t1_jdtwpi7 wrote
I identify as a door knob. It was the only way to get out of the closet!
Waitsfornoone t1_jdrfunp wrote
This is what happens when octogenarians stay up past their nap time.
terminalcynic t1_jdwciyz wrote
Ha ha ha ha!
[deleted] t1_jdrig6n wrote
[deleted]
AislinnScr t1_jds0ew8 wrote
It means 80+ years old.
Metric_Pacifist t1_jduftxi wrote
Aww. He ran away 😒
JADW27 t1_jdslck6 wrote
You know what else "works good"? Dictionaries.
IBenGaming5 t1_jdsvgq9 wrote
yeeaaa u right
villageboyz t1_jdrk8s6 wrote
Hi Kevin
Valuable-Banana96 t1_jdthzzk wrote
Every time Biden opens his mouth he makes you think he's had a stroke.
Every time Trump opens his mouth he makes you think you've had a stroke.
pmyourboobiesorbutt t1_jdumn4x wrote
Biden has had a stroke…
FlashpointJ24 t1_jdtqmp7 wrote
The CEO of IKEA was just elected president.
His first order of business is to assemble his cabinet.
randomguy7588 t1_jds6wg9 wrote
We all have a good laugh but won't be so funny when kamala has to take over
brown_smear t1_jdt8vxa wrote
Then we can all have a good cackle :)
FrozeItOff t1_jdti7k8 wrote
Yeah, then we can laugh as we watch as a whole cadre of white, racist, sexist males have collective aneurysms over a black woman being president.
DieByMyLeg t1_jdtvtpm wrote
I’m all for a female president, but Kamala is definitely not one i’d be happy with.
NoSpalling t1_jdtnfin wrote
This was one of the worst uses of a comma I’ve seen
FrozeItOff t1_jdtom06 wrote
You're right. I missed one.
sharksnut t1_jdu082r wrote
The Secret Service has standing orders to shoot her and McCarthy if that happens
1Mind1WillDoit t1_jdu1lgd wrote
The cabinet said don’t be sniffing around here and stay out of my drawers
Natural-Counter-4971 t1_jdu269h wrote
This is Russian Misinformation
snagboy15 t1_jdu9o9a wrote
Sounds quite likely.
FrontRecognition5987 t1_jduc90a wrote
Trump will be trying to convince some concrete blocks he’s president real soon.
terminalcynic t1_jdwcrlt wrote
Isn’t this comment a repost from every month for the last 6 years?
MrPrul t1_jdufas9 wrote
He needs to talk with the chairman
Forehand_Bets t1_jduyjjw wrote
But only after shaking hands with the flag pole........
good_luck_23 t1_jdvi9g3 wrote
Trump is talking to his lawyers' lawyer's lawyers today.
[deleted] t1_jdrh50y wrote
[removed]
TheseAbbreviations41 t1_jdt2uc7 wrote
I’m not going to abandon the bookcase, I’ll stand with it !
CaterpillarHuge4491 t1_jdtp5lg wrote
He probably sniffed the cabinet
mightysmiter19 t1_jduhg1h wrote
Nah it was too old
Groucho-Marxist50 t1_jdtuucu wrote
He was also quite occupied with the ottoman.
Diggle-biggy-4471 t1_jduj5qe wrote
Damn someone threw in an off color joke now we’re not only white but also racist and sexist damn people let it go a laugh a little sometimes.
NewParadigm1111 t1_jdw6huh wrote
Same joke from Trump era. Waaa waaa waaaaaaa
Fit-Anywhere-8547 t1_jdwctrw wrote
Someone asked him if he’s scene the Indian in the cupboard? So he went to check it out lmao
Dry-Writer663 t1_jdwjz08 wrote
Whichever republicant is president it’s always a fucking joke and it takes a dem to bail out the country rinse repeat
PygmeePony t1_jdun3l3 wrote
He also talked to his one night stand and almost got impeached.
1Transgranny t1_jduzb67 wrote
At Least he didn't lose an election and insisted he won.
Ordinary_Carpet_2274 t1_jdtli0f wrote
Joseph BiDon🫡
Eroe777 t1_jdrjb6y wrote
Isn’t this a George W Bush joke?
heidjuk t1_jdrzwug wrote
It's whoever is on office.... It's just not a trump joke because he's not president
Smart_Interaction_34 t1_jdsrn82 wrote
Pffft good luck telling that to about half of Reddit these days
Ishidan01 t1_jds2erv wrote
No, it's a Clint Eastwood joke
Jeepinthemud t1_jdsu6op wrote
Or Bruce Willis
[deleted] t1_jdrqjno wrote
George W Bush had a meeting with his cabinet this morning.
...then he talkified to the bookcase for a while, and now he's argumentificating with the couch, mah fellow 'muricans!
BadMedAdvice t1_jdsnlgp wrote
It was originally a Washington joke.
daltonator_360 t1_jdssexp wrote
Because George W didn't have dementia as president (I don't know how he's doing these days).
Status-Simple9240 t1_jdswm4g wrote
Ronnie did
unclejoe1917 t1_jdvq4k6 wrote
Funny a guy with a well documented speech impediment gets labeled as senile by a party of people who rode out a president with actual, diagnosed senility.
pmyourboobiesorbutt t1_jdumqh3 wrote
W with dementia or without, not much difference
biffbobfred t1_jdtastb wrote
Ronnie did. Supposedly Woodrow Wilson also.
W didn’t. I mean he believed weird shit (Gog and Magog) but oddly that level of crazy isn’t not that odd for the American South
Ordinary_Carpet_2274 t1_jdtlffs wrote
Ronnie was into Astronomy .. Nancy plastic surgery
HarryHacker42 t1_jds476p wrote
Because George W. Bush did torture and he just isn't funny.
Buddy2269 t1_jdrm8zp wrote
F.
JoshMohawk t1_jds5g08 wrote
Just make sure he doesn’t open the closet. Trump is still in it.
K16w32a2r4k8 t1_jdsrnnf wrote
Yeah, Trump is in the water closet trying to get those incriminating papers to flush.
JoshMohawk t1_jdssbqm wrote
He wouldn’t go through that much trouble. If an ex president did something, it can’t be illegal, right? Besides, if anyone tried hold him accountable for his actions, he’d just get his worshippers to rise up and make good on his threat of death and destruction.
K16w32a2r4k8 t1_jdssykb wrote
More would go to jail this time and death and destruction might go the other way. Remember Biden is Commander in Chief now. The US military is not something you want aimed at you.
AKLmfreak t1_jdri1r4 wrote
Loool, I don’t care where you stand, this is funny.