KWHarrison1983 t1_je9folk wrote
Reply to comment by ObligedPath in After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man on the woman's nightstand by the bed. by ES_FTrader
Umm not having that conversation first is one of the least transparent things a person could do.
vegancookie t1_je9i9la wrote
When trans people are openly out they are frequently killed. It is 100% up to the trans person when to come out, and you do not need to inform someone you are trans before you sleep with them.
KWHarrison1983 t1_jeapekt wrote
Highly disagree with that. Just because the trans person is ok with their identity doesn't make it ok to assume others are too.
I'm all for trans people being trans, but it's a very key piece of information for a lot of people, especially where sex is concerned. For example many people only want to sleep with those of the opposite biological sex and a person's gender identity means squat. There's nothing transphobic about that; it's how the vast majority of the population realistically looks at the intersection between sex and gender.
Again, that's not to say trans people shouldn't be allowed to feel the way they feel, and the vast majority of people do support that. But if they're going to be dishonest with people and do things that are likely to cross other people's boundaries, that's another issue altogether.
vegancookie t1_jeapqtl wrote
Others are what, comfortable with someone else’s gender identity? What? That makes zero sense…
GolgothaRising t1_jeasbtg wrote
Comfortable with knowing what you are fucking.
The assumption that there will be a negative reaction to the truth, so the truth shouldn't be known, is fucking ridiculous when it comes to dating.
Honesty and sincerity, even if it puts you in an awkward position.
vegancookie t1_jeau3pd wrote
Fucking and dating are not always the same thing, and trying to see how your potential partner is so you can judge how safe you are to come out is absolutely fair enough when trans people are murdered so often.
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Out of interest are you as vocal when a married man conceals his martial relationship to pursue sexual relationships with others? I see a lot of outrage about trans people, but not so much about married men, and not on the same level.
GolgothaRising t1_jeauruf wrote
Honesty is important in both. I would neither like to fuck nor date someone who is deceptive about very simple and normal things that they shouldn't be ashamed of or hide.
vegancookie t1_jeav60t wrote
Do you honestly not understand self preservation and not wanting to be murdered?
GolgothaRising t1_jeb4sfw wrote
Straw man, not worth arguing with you.
vegancookie t1_jeb6dpz wrote
It's not a strawman, you are saying that trans people being honest is **more** important than trans people not being murdered. The reason trans people aren't always forth coming about who they are when they get into relationships is because they don't want to die. So if you respect their partners feelings **more** than you respect trans people's lives, your argument makes sense, but that's a hell of a way to prioritize, and clearly shows a lack of care about trans lives.
GolgothaRising t1_jeba1ut wrote
I'm not saying that, and that's exactly what a straw man is. Where you put words in the mouth of my argument, and argue against points and claims that I'm not arguing against.
You have no reason or logic in building your points, only vitriol.
vegancookie t1_jebgevk wrote
"The assumption that there will be a negative reaction to the truth, so the truth shouldn't be known, is fucking ridiculous when it comes to dating."
There is a long and grim of trans abuse and murders because of trans people being open about being trans, you seemingly choose to ignore this piece of information. That is the argument you made, and if you don't understand your own premises to your own argument, then that's a you problem.
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