Submitted by SexySwedishSpy t3_124ge31 in Jokes
Make_the_music_stop t1_jdzaixu wrote
A doctor is delivering Little Johnny. His head comes out and Johnny says “Hey, you my dad?”. The doctor is shocked, says no and Johnny shoots back inside the mother. The doctors calls the midwife over to have a look. Again the baby’s head pops out, “Hey, you my dad!?” The midwife says no and the baby shoots back inside the mother.
The doctor and midwife decide they better get the father who was too squeamish to be in the delivery room.
So the father looks between his wife’s legs. The baby’s head pops out again. “Hey, you my dad?”
Father “Yes!”
Little Johnny, “Well come here” and a tiny arm squeezes out, and starts to punch the top of the father’s head nonstop while shouting “HOW…WOULD…YOU…LIKE…THIS…TO…HAPPEN…EVERY…NIGHT…OF…YOUR…LIFE”
O-U-T-C-A-S-T t1_jdzhqf0 wrote
My 2 inches couldn't have hit you.
I had been working night shift every day to better provide for you.
Unit147 t1_jdzplav wrote
fuck
Cultural_Attitude_42 t1_je0t74y wrote
Every. Single. Night!
Desertbro t1_je15vqn wrote
And now bullies and your boss will take over from your dad. Welcome to life!
heyuinoinou t1_je2mpa3 wrote
On the telephone?!?
MrHappyHam t1_je1i7gc wrote
Dangerops! Prangent sex will it hurt baby top of its head?
RhinoBuckeye t1_je24t9u wrote
38 + 2 weeks preganenant?
palebluedotcitizen t1_je26161 wrote
Some interesting spellings in this thread.
fuqdisshite t1_je293wx wrote
you are one of today's 10000
b00b00jeffries t1_je2jskm wrote
Has me rolling every time!
BlightFantasy3467 t1_je2qoaf wrote
Here's a better one
[deleted] t1_je27vu3 wrote
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CCGamesSteve t1_je20h8g wrote
They need to do way instain mother.
[deleted] t1_je1iy5x wrote
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[deleted] t1_je2wsmr wrote
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MoffCH t1_je36owr wrote
Funny thing is babies don’t switch to head down until after 32 weeks.
RAMbrotherz t1_je0t1nu wrote
r/thirdsentenceworse
soupbox09 t1_je254hd wrote
I agree fisting while a baby is inside the mum is probably not cool.
justanotherotherdude t1_je2j41l wrote
Lmao 🤣
Lil-Miss-Anthropy t1_je1vi5b wrote
r/badwomensanatomy
ReasonableBug7649 t1_je3lhuj wrote
it's a joke you joyless camel
Lil-Miss-Anthropy t1_je3xrf0 wrote
A joke that I barely understood because I was scratching my head thinking no one could be so daft as to imply that a baby is getting punched in the head during intercourse. But thank you for the compliment. :P
cronsumtion t1_je43mt4 wrote
I could barely understand it cause I was wondering how anyone could be so daft as to imply a newborn baby could talk! Madness!
ReasonableBug7649 t1_je4l3hg wrote
yeah. r/badbabypsychology
DreaminSeaweed t1_je3215w wrote
We did this joke in middle school, tapping the forehead of the listener with the index! Jokes that are an excuse to hit your friends, fun times
[deleted] t1_jdzh4il wrote
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