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[deleted] t1_jdzeq7d wrote

[removed]

947

captcraigaroo t1_jdzuvse wrote

Be honest, you want the goat

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ZayreBlairdere t1_jdzwdj3 wrote

He's gonna get her goat.

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captcraigaroo t1_jdzwg8h wrote

The throat goat

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Strontium_frog t1_jdzxbst wrote

Nancy?

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cingerix t1_je02fpw wrote

wait.... (looks at your username)

are YOU the frog from this joke??

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Strontium_frog t1_je047h1 wrote

Nope, must be another frog, I never had to have anyone teach me how to give an adult happy meal.

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captcraigaroo t1_je09i57 wrote

Magic frog my ass

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E420CDI t1_je0aaqh wrote

If you say so

Prepare for a ribbiting experience

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OmenTheGod t1_je080rh wrote

Nah Dude its Not about meals my innocent friend, pussy aint a Cat in this Context its an Organ.

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Strontium_frog t1_je09vq3 wrote

If it's an organ than I'm thinking wurlitzer... that's a lot of keys. In the experience of this frog there are a many keys , and every organ demands a different set of keys.

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Doses-mimosas t1_je01xll wrote

Right, the joke already implies that the girl would be more inclined to let a frog get to business down there, than the man posing the same question.

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Force3vo t1_je02dd5 wrote

I'd be ok with the location of the bar where gorgeous blondes go home with you minutes after getting the worst opener ever.

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Lawnchair_Larry t1_jdzxpt0 wrote

I wonder if that’s how the famous Chicago restaurant got it’s name…

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Waitsfornoone t1_jdztqns wrote

Is that frog available for rental?

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jet_heller t1_jdzu8ph wrote

Yes! I rent him out for $10,000 a night.

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Waitsfornoone t1_jdzukyh wrote

Time to go frog catching.

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Icetyger4 t1_jdzk81u wrote

I've never heard this one before. I loved it.

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DidntWantSleepAnyway t1_je066dz wrote

Yeah, I don’t know if this is a repost, but it’s the first I’ve seen of it! We might both be part of today’s lucky 10,000.

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peekay427 t1_je0u2fb wrote

And… It’s been removed so I missed it. Any chance you remember it and can share?

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DidntWantSleepAnyway t1_je1j3fm wrote

I’m not going to tell it as well, but:

The guy takes out a frog, and tells the blonde “this is no ordinary frog! It can do tricks!”

“What kind of tricks?”

“Well, he can lick pussy.”

The blonde wants to see, so she invites him over and takes off her clothes. The guy sets the frog down on the bed.

Nothing happens.

The guy says to the frog, “You’ve forgotten how to do it, huh? Here, let me show you how it’s done.”

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flossdog t1_je0u4h3 wrote

this joke was deleted before I read it 🙁

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Wingcapx t1_jdzy89r wrote

Of course she's sitting on the bar stool all alone. They're only big enough for one person to sit on.

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amerkanische_Frosch t1_jdzghrc wrote

James Bond walks into a bar and sizes up the local talent.

He sees a gorgeous blonde sitting on a bar stool.

He walks up, catlike, to the bar, orders a vodka martini (shaken, not stirred!), puts his hand on the blonde's knee and says, suavely:

"Bond. JAMES Bond."

The blonde gets off the stool and kicks Bond squarely in the balls. As Bond is doubled over in pain, she administers a powerful right uppercut to his chin. Mercifully, he sinks into unconsciousness and falls to the floor.

The blonde says:

"Off. FUCK off."

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Madmanmelvin t1_jdzh953 wrote

Haha. Its funny, because that's the same cadence he says his name with!

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Cha-San t1_jdzpa8e wrote

Lol. Do you know what sound James Bond's doorbell makes?

Dong. Ding Dong.

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bl1y t1_je0najw wrote

I really doubt James Bond would hit on Logan Roy.

1

Harshisnar t1_je10xrg wrote

The Deleted Text:

So the guy sits down next to her and pulls a small box from his pocket. He opens it and there's a frog inside. The blonde says, "He's cute, but does he do tricks?" The guy says, "Yes, he licks pussy." So after talking with her for several minutes, he convinces her to come with him to his apartment. They get there and she takes all of her clothes off, gets into the bed, and spreads her legs. The guy sets the frog right between her legs and it just sits there not moving at all. The blonde says, "Well? What's up?" The frog still does not move. So the guy leans over to the frog and says, "All right, I'm only going to show you how to do this one more time.”

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TurnItOffAndBackOnXD t1_je1ukgl wrote

I mean the fact that she was blond is completely unnecessary it’s good enough without being a blonde joke.

3

elaphros t1_je0rvnr wrote

Wow, that must have been a really good joke and the mods decided it didn't belong here after all.

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Escapewithme2 t1_je02tst wrote

Just as he's about to engage her, he realizes it's Beth Dutton.

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Odh_utexas t1_je09sv6 wrote

I realize this is a Yellow Stone joke bc of the name but I’ve never watched it. Can you give me the context (I know that takes the fun out of it)

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tahcamen t1_je14ouh wrote

She’s at the bar and some douche starts hitting on her, she shuts him down by just telling him her name.

1

ritchfld t1_je065hp wrote

I first heard this 40+ years ago. It was funny then and it is STILL funny.

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derTag t1_je0rnyz wrote

He removed the blonde?

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Beidou-my-beloved1 t1_je0tj8l wrote

The guy says yes and..? It's removed? Ah man.. i really want to hear the joke

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mrdavelee t1_je10d9h wrote

It was something to do with going back to hers, she gets undressed, the frog just sits there doing nothing. The guy then says "Right I'll show you one more time."

2

itzToreve t1_je0bfoz wrote

Didnt get it

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The-Coolest-Of-Cats t1_je0gmv7 wrote

Same.. the frog doesn't do anything, but it also didn't help the guy score a girl?

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LedgeEndDairy t1_je0h5wv wrote

Yes it did. He used the frog as an accessory to pique her interest into coming up to his place. The frog, being a frog, does nothing, so he stays in character saying he was going to show the frog one more time how to lick pussy.

I.e. The guy licks her pussy, which was his objective all along.

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Torvite t1_je0jkud wrote

I wonder how many women exist that would jump at the idea of a frog performing cunnilingus on them (with a man supervising), but wouldn't want the man involved.

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Heree_WeGo t1_je1o3ep wrote

Upvoted by human beings that have zero understanding of women and think that a woman would prefer to be eaten out by a frog than a man.

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The-Coolest-Of-Cats t1_je0k70m wrote

But there's literally no indication that the girl consented to him licking her instead, so I guess that's why it falls completely flat for me. If she's down for him to do that, then she was interested in him anyway, which also ruins the joke, so..

0

[deleted] t1_jdzec1b wrote

[removed]

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[deleted] t1_jdzejxt wrote

[removed]

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bl1y t1_je0nf7k wrote

I was convinced the punchline was going to be something like "Good, now that the flies are gone..."

1

Inevitable-Cellist23 t1_je0odhe wrote

I thought the frog would turn into a prince upon kissing her lips or something

1

[deleted] t1_je02mgo wrote

[deleted]

−49