Submitted by MrRickSter t3_120ezh7 in Jokes
The sign said they were bread in captivity.
Submitted by MrRickSter t3_120ezh7 in Jokes
The sign said they were bread in captivity.
It's the yeast they could do for them
I'm sorry for asking. I am French and wonder all the time if the humor I see on this site is English or American, Where are you from?
Why are these the only 2 options?
The French are not fond of and do not like to contemplate German humor.
The Germans have humour??? Are you sure??
Da, of course! For instance. Dis you ever hear de one about the two men und the bear?
>!the men, who were taught to always respect nature, said to the bear, "No, thank you. We would like you to leave now. The bear, being a wild animal, did not care about their respectful request and mauled them to death!!<
Haha, silly men. This is not how you deal with a bear!
Editors note >! I'm not actually German and have no idea if this is funny or offensive. If someone I'd offended, let me know, and I'll delete it.!<
Nope it made me laugh
No offense taken, but the word is Ja
Da is Russian
Ah Scheisse
Because these are the only 2 countries that make English movies
The Australian movie industry is offended by this remark. 😊
Canada too. Hollywood North for a reason y'know.
It's punny to anyone who speaks English as a home language.
>I get some of them, punk....Sorry, I meant puns. My first attempt to be witty in English.
Keep it up. You're doing great!
Thanks, but I better hurry to keep it up. I'm 78yo. I was an average bilingual for the first 39 in Quebec and spoke, write, and thought exclusively in English for the other 39 in Ontario. I have lost my French and still didn't get the genius of the English language. I'll probably go to hell in the French section, where I'll be 'devilled" for eternity to have let them down. I got this last quoted one from thesaurus.com, from which I will live until the end.
The English don't have a sense of humor. That answers the question.
They must have lost it; they used to have it in Monthy Python
Monty Python?
Of course. Big fan of Jimmy Carr.
I expect they were just loafing around.
Did they look crusty
That and very hardened
And seedy
And probably have a yeast infection
the yeast you could have done is word play, but no
Your expectations are way too rye
just wheat a bit, give it thyme
I'm giving you two flours, make it snappy
this one's a bit of a stretch, but don't be sour, dough boy
I'm a lady, and I'm not sour, you're the one who seems like you're in grain.
I yield. No pain, no grain, and I have felt the pain
I can hear the wheating through the screen
Okay these puns are getting a bit stale.
They're fresh, they came from Subway, EAT FRESH, THANK YOU FOR READING THIS LOVELY SPONSORED COMMENT
But have you seen these puns? *pulls out the punpernickel
You went this whole wheat just for that?
No I have plenty more, but keep it a secret. I'll cut you a slice just be naanchalant.
Oh, grain, I'm being baguetted with.
Of course not, I would never do that, I have no knead to. Aldough I do hear bad eggs are on the rise.
You were kidding, then? That's good. I don't like to be bageled with, y'know?
Bageling has muffin to do with it, crust me on that.
I felt bageled with, but I trust you're not rying.
I tripped and fell right into the display case at my French bakery!
Now I’m in a world of pain!
Au bon pain
How did you know I am a bottom in BDSM sessions?
Not only hadYour excitement risen to the top, but the glass seemed the yeast of your worries!
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It seems like you like the heel
World of panes.
It's very unusual for them to breed in captivity, but these ones rose to the occasion.
I took my daughter to the new zoo They only had one dog! It was a Shit Tzu.
I was at the zoo the other day and saw a monkey sucking it’s own cock with a finger up it’s ass. ‘I wish I could do that!’ I remarked. ‘Give it some peanuts and it will let you’ said the attendant
Those French baguettes are a real "pain" to catch!
Sounds like a “pain” in the ass!
You’re eating in the wrong direction.
I always worry about sourdough. The yeast gets reus3d and reused for generations an eventually they all wind up inbread
Osmosis. Bacteria don't do that inbreeding thing. They know what's good for them.
Happy cake day to us!
Happy cake day!!
Was the cross aunt there?
She had hot cross buns
They were feeling a little sour, doh.
Why did I just imagine two loaves boning?
If you want to watch though, it'll cost you 5c for each thrust, or pumpernickel.
At yeast they are kept together
Painful.
Crossing the line to change it to a baguette and a donut? I don't know how two baguettes would procreate. <smh> took it too far.
I thought it was a part of the new pain deux exhibit
I made bread many times with my grandma. Eating a bite after it would rise was a special treat for me. It was so intoxicating. One time we made a sourdough with dill. That was the first time I had a dill dough.
Been telling my kids this story for years. But I feel it's lacking, so pls try to improve it. I love a good shaggy dog. The longer the better
I baked bread in a church once. It didn’t rise until the third day.
. itrttygw
They were no animals dough
r/dadjokes
Took my son to the zoo today. There was only one dog there. It was a Shih Tzu
Readers—-Take your bad jokes and baguette!
Dont make à meal out of it, it was a simple joke with no filler....just butter
I went to a zoo yesterday it had one dog. It was a shih tzu
Fuck you. Take my upvote
I once saw a dog that was in bread.
She was bred in Old Kentucky, but she's only a crumb around here!
😂🤣🙂
Hi
Ugh. It’s not sustainable, there’s no way they would survive out in the wild after. I’m sorry, it just really gets a rise out of me.
I hate that I laughed at that… Upvote granted
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I went to a “zoo” I saw on Craigslist, got there and it was a single cage with a little dog. That was a shitzoo
I went to the zoo the other day. It was terrible, they only had one animal. It was a dog. It was a shih tzu.
johnsolomon t1_jdgxf29 wrote
That's cruel 😔 They deserve butter