Submitted by ElTacoBravo t3_ygq5mw in Jokes
A man in the back of the bar stands up and says "That's my Chihuahua"
"Well, he just killed my Rottweiler!"
" What?!! How did your Rottweiler get killed by my Chihuahua?!!"
" I think he choked on him".
Comments
juancamore01 t1_iublesb wrote
Norm McDonald told this joke so much better. RIP 🪦 Norm
[deleted] t1_iubvgsy wrote
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BlitzFritzXX t1_iuckk72 wrote
Hilarious twist 😂😂😂
Rebel_Player_957 t1_iucqnap wrote
If I were the nurse, I would be more specific and tell the husband to give her oral.
DeepFriedDinosaur t1_iud9x9x wrote
Of course you would, now that you heard this here tale of woe and misfortune
Rebel_Player_957 t1_iuda4ku wrote
I mean, it sems like common sense to be a little specific.
Eclectic_UltraViolet t1_iucj724 wrote
An drunk old man stumbles around on a dark street in a bad neighborhood. Pretty soon, he falls through the swinging doors of a biker bar.
He gets up and looks around. “Well well well,” he says loudly, “What do we have here? A buncha pussies, that’s what!”
Place goes silent. The old man’s eyes catch sight of the biggest, meanest-looking biker in the room. He walks a crooked path toward the mountainous man and points at him with a big smile.
As he reaches the table, he leans down, looks the biker right in the eye, and says, “I fucked yer grandma.”
Everyone waits for the big man’s reaction, but his face remains expressionless.
“Yeah, that’s right, I fucked your grandma! I fucked her real good! She was moaning and begging for more!”
Still no reaction from the biker. Now the old man is angry.
“Hey! Are you deaf?! I fucked her every which way all night long, and she LOVED it! Now what are you going to do about it ?!”
Slowly, the biker rises. Everyone holds their breath as they watch him stare down at the old man.
“C’mon, then,” the biker says, “let’s get you home, grandpa.”
FinnStrike7 t1_iudzg7v wrote
That had to be the best “Let’s get you home Grandpa” joke I’ve ever heard
AilanMoone t1_iue92bv wrote
I'm used to the one with the dad and some sons, but I caught on when the biker didn't react
[deleted] t1_iue94an wrote
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zxcovman t1_iu9y8oc wrote
cartof_fiert t1_iuab3c1 wrote
My man still remembers the joke he said 3 years ago, respect
ElTacoBravo OP t1_iu9yrvg wrote
Lol. I like that version better. I knew I didn't remember it right.
Loduwijk t1_iua0opf wrote
I like yours better.
eyalhs t1_iuaw9ek wrote
Yours is definitely better
Swordidaffair t1_iuc268e wrote
Your retelling definitely has a better punchline to finish it off but both good versions of a fun joke 😁
PubaliBasu t1_iubzeeu wrote
Yours is better.
Jesus_peed_n_my_butt t1_iubi9iv wrote
A woman was in a coma,
and she had been in it for months. Nurses were in her room giving her a blanket bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor when she touched her. They tried it again and sure enough there was a small, recognisable movement.
They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, "Crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma."
The husband was sceptical, but they assured him that with the curtains closed for privacy, and his co-operation it might just work. He finally agreed and went into his wife's room.
A few minutes passed and then the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart beat, alarms ringing, the nurses burst into the room. "What happened?" they cried.
The husband said, "I'm not sure, maybe she choked".