Submitted by Ventos19558 t3_yd333s in Jokes

The cucumber says, "my life sucks. I get left in the garden until I'm huge. Then cut into pieces and put in a salad."

The pickle says, "That's nothing! I get to sit in a jar with vinegar till I get swollen. Then I get eaten."

The penis laughs and says, " When I get huge, they throw a bag over my head and shove me into a dark wet place and bang my head against a wall till I throw up and pass out!"

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bitmasjp t1_itppkqq wrote

Please god, replace cucumber with carrot and pickle with cucumber so that the joke makes sense.You can not pickle a pckle....

102

skankhunt402 t1_itptcwq wrote

It wasnt a pickle when it experienced that but it still remembers

26

TTT_2k3 t1_itpww5d wrote

Instead of “I get to,” change it to “I have to.”

8

UsedToBeDedMemeBoi t1_itrnlam wrote

The pickle isn't a pickle originally, it describes what it has to do to become a pickle.

4

CuddlingWolf t1_itsllkw wrote

I'm gonna pickle a pickle just to prove you wrong. Capitalism is NOT the fuel for innovation, it's SPITE!

3

ArkyBeagle t1_itst1d7 wrote

Just change " I get to sit in a jar" to " I was put in a jar" then it works.

1

frstyle34 t1_itpoh9f wrote

Tell the pickle and cucumber they’re related. Incest ensues

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Hyp0cond t1_itpq8k7 wrote

But hte cucumber and the pickle are the same thng? ??

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puma59 t1_itr0746 wrote

There are vegetables other than cucumbers that get pickled.

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Livid-Ad4102 t1_itrybup wrote

Unless specified, a pickle is a pickled cucumber

5

puma59 t1_iu0ruec wrote

That's one of the most laughable opinions ever stated. You must be from a low-IQ region of the Midwestern U.S.

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Livid-Ad4102 t1_iuip3g2 wrote

Yeah bc when you order a burger with pickles they say "what kind?" Dumbass

1

TicTacTime t1_itrggf0 wrote

Banana feels left out

2

TheJanitorEduard t1_itrz6ol wrote

The banana is too mutated and cloned to speak, probably too busy dying in the corner

3

illessen t1_ittyyx0 wrote

Don’t forget his friends are nuts and lives next door to an asshole.

1

adeelraj47 t1_itqak1l wrote

Replace cucumber with hammer.

0