A council worker is digging holes, while another worker immediately fills them in.

Submitted by EndersGame_Reviewer t3_yeci1q in Jokes

A man is watching two council workers busy in a local park. One digs a hole, moves a couple of meters and digs another hole, and so on. The other worker follows the first, immediately filling in all the holes the first worker has dug.

The man watching is furious, and approaches them saying, "I'm going to write to the council about this digging holes and filling them in right away, it's a disgrace."

"Hang on," says one of the workers, "It's not our fault that Charlie's off sick."

"Who's Charlie?" asks the man.

"He's the guy who plants the trees."

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JugglinB t1_itz3tbx wrote

I seem to remember that was one of Keynesian type economics ideas - pay a guy to dig a hole. Pay a guy to fill a hole. Both now have cash to spend on items that require workers to make and sell these items, who now have cash to spend on items that.... And so on....

Not an expert. Did one term on economics before switching to physics. The only science - "chemistry is just applied physics, and biology is just applied chemistry. Physics is the only science!" Quote from my physics lecturer not me...

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Zombie_John_Strachan t1_itzkmj2 wrote

Two economists are walking down the street when they pass a pile of dog shit.

“I bet you $500 you won’t eat that” says the first to the second. “You’re on!” replies the second economist, who gamely bites into a log and happily collects the cash.

A few minutes later they pass another dog pile, so the second economist says to the first, “Now it’s your turn - $500 to eat that dog shit”. The first does, and collects his cash.

After a few more minutes of walking, the first economist says “hold on, we both ate dog shit and ended up with the same amount of cash.”

“Yeah” replied the second, “but we just increased GDP by $1,000”.

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jordantask t1_iu18paj wrote

A man is in a pub. He places his empty glass on the bar and says “I bet you $500 I can piss in that cup from all the way over here and not spill a drop.”

“You’re on!” Says the bartender. So the man unzips and begins urinating everywhere. He’s pissing on the floor, he’s pissing on the bar, he’s pissing on the furniture, he’s pissing in other people’s drinks, he’s pissing on the other customers.

When he’s done, he pulls out 5 $100 bills and hands them to the bartender while laughing hilariously.

“What’s so funny?” Asks the barkeep, “you just lost $500!”

The man gestures to another man beside him and says “Yeah but I just bet him 10 grand I could piss all over the place and you wouldn’t be mad.”

8

PiisAWheeL t1_iu0ugfp wrote

Sounds like applied stupidity. Or reality. I have a hard time telling them apart these days.

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campej90 t1_iu199o8 wrote

Well I don't know about the domestic product, but there's no doubt about the gross

5

Siders1987 t1_itzjod2 wrote

Didn't Roosevelt do something similar with his "new deal" project? Pay people to do jobs that didn't require doing to help flood more money into the economy thus creating more jobs due to increase in sales and demand?

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wasdlmb t1_iu0cxeo wrote

New deal was peak Keynesean economics. It's actually where a lot of Keynes's ideas first saw implementation.

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stillnotking t1_iu1yhj1 wrote

Sort of, but the jobs weren't make-work. The CCC did actually useful things like build flood-control ponds. One of them is down the hill from my house.

It's just that no one would have paid them to do the work, if the government hadn't.

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ButtonOats t1_itzqyp7 wrote

Why not simply miss out the ‘dig a hole’ part and just pay a guy!? Brings us to the concept of a Minimum Income Guarantee programme.

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Fit_Cherry7133 t1_iu3eybr wrote

The work should be more along the lines of "create a sculpture" or something else. Something that doesn't create any intrinsic value but does create social value.

If course capitalism doesn't like the second part of this and this is why our society is failing.

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Waterfish3333 t1_itzjlmv wrote

Chemistry is what things that move are made of.

Biology is why and how living things move.

Physics is why and how non-living things move.

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happyonceuponatime t1_iu0z0fv wrote

Only mechanics branch cares about movement...thermodynamics doesn't as much, nor does electrostatics or electricity...physics is the study of matter and energy...

Chemisty cares about the reactions. How everything reacts to everything....including atoms to themselves. It is the study of the substance.

Biology cares about living substance only. It is a macro reality of chemistry. It doesn't only care about movement...movement is just a tiny fraction....

In fact you are wrong about all because you are concentrated on mouvement only...

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NewGuy-1964 t1_iu1dv9p wrote

And physics is just applied math...

Math is the only science.

1

Background-Anybody32 t1_itygtcp wrote

Reminds me of another joke:

A guy comes into a bar, orders a shot and a beer. After some minutes he had downed both, he suddenly jumps from his stool, runs to the door and shout to the outside - "green is up!"

Then he sits down again - a beer, a shot again. After some minutes he repeats the procedure. "green is up!"

This goes on for quite a while.

The barkeeper gets more and more curious. After a while he decided to ask: "hey man, what are you doing here? "

The guy answers: "Well, we work for the city, I got two man outside planting trees...."

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--zuel-- t1_ityqug3 wrote

I don’t get this one

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jabrwock1 t1_itzo0fk wrote

He’s supervising a pair of idiots.

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BathroomCareful23 t1_iu0ratl wrote

It's originally a racist joke, have been hearing this one for 50 years and mostly it's just the minority that changes depending on the teller

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Amyx231 t1_itzuexv wrote

I mean, the digger doesn’t want to be fired for not digging, and the filler has a wife, kids, and dog who rely on his paycheck, so he definitely can’t leave those holes unfilled!

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rocknutty t1_itz0vs4 wrote

I heard it as a blonde joke.

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Fluffster79 t1_itzjntx wrote

True story: Cable company sent 1 company to digg a ditch in my parents front yard for the cable. Then the 2nd company lets us know that their worker is sick and can't place the cable. Then a 3rd company comes to fill the ditch. They all spoke Turkish. My dad almost had a heart attack. Worker let me use his phone so his friend could translate. Spoke to some guy in English, who spoke to some other guy in German, who spoke to our guy in Turkish. He said if he didn't fill it, we would have to pay for someone to fill it. So my dad wanted the ditch closed. I convinced him not to have it closed. As it would have resulted in us having to pay for digging AND filling afterwards. Clusterfuck.

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Nilucifar t1_iu0evz3 wrote

My father told me this one like a month ago. It was with roads though.

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5ucur t1_iu03l0n wrote

I heard this one but with plumbing. The guy who lays the pipes was off sick.

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NoFunHere t1_itxasft wrote

This works as two city workers digging holes, but not so much as two city council members digging holes.

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EndersGame_Reviewer OP t1_itxb2s5 wrote

In some countries "city workers" are called "council workers", because they work for the city council.

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Mrdanny70s t1_itywkkc wrote

We call them council workers in glasgow mate

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NoFunHere t1_itxf07m wrote

I got it, thanks. I never knew that. This jokes works well for that limited audience then.

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EndersGame_Reviewer OP t1_itxj105 wrote

Just change "council worker" to "city worker", and you're all good to go.

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josegarrao t1_itxmha1 wrote

Country people would go mad. Change to just "workers".

4