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awaymoralize58 t1_iud55df wrote

A mate of mine went on a tinder date once, during small talk she mentioned her favorite film is Titanic.

So in the interests of making converstion, my mate comments on the actual historic event of the Titanic sinking.

She says ‟Do not be silly, the Titanic never sank”

He says ‟Uh, what?”

She says ‟Well obviously it did not really sink, it was just a movie”

A second date did not happen.


Advanced_Parsnip t1_iud8zsv wrote

Once while at the movies with family, one of my daughters asked if it really happened? It was Cowboys vs Aliens, for her defense she was only 7


artsytiff t1_iufrx2b wrote

I mean… cowboys were real.


WaisTom t1_iufu2nu wrote

And Aliens are also defined as illegal immigrants but that's considered racist.


E_B_Jamisen t1_iufx05f wrote

Well I mean technically the Alamo could be considered cowboys vs aliens, though in this case it would have been the Americans that were the aliens …


Blackhole_Star_yum t1_iug78ef wrote

They still are real lmao, I went to high school with some kids and that's what their family does for a living. And they're the richest families in the area. They also make really cringy tiktoks.


starfyredragon t1_iuhehrg wrote

I really wouldn't call them "still real".

There's lots of posers, but land is sectioned up so much that actual cowboys (aka, shepards for cows) who guide cows across large vistas fatting them up while leading them to the destination to sell, are kind of non-existant now.

Also, people have a tendency to conflate actual cowboys with sphegetti western cowboys, which were faker than Sasquatch in a Polaroid shop.


Tidesticky t1_iuhfk6w wrote

When was Sasquatch in a Polaroid shop? Do Polaroid shops make much money now days?


enjoi_baggy t1_iugy9pm wrote

And aliens probably are too. The many conspiracy theorists surrounding the subject impact its legitimacy, unfortunately.


JSwag1310 t1_iufy82j wrote

My mother had to explain to my brother and I that Rufio in Peter Pan, didn't actually die and was just an actor who was, and I quote, "probably enjoying a burger at McDonald's as we speak." Don't know why but that part always stuck with me.


The_Amazing_Emu t1_iug8jz5 wrote

When I was a kid, I thought Babe was based on a true story. Something about the intro made it sound like it was based on historical events.


Tidesticky t1_iuhfq9g wrote

Well, he did hit 714 home runs so there's that


Creepscape t1_iudjfy2 wrote

Lol, you remind me of a one time date I went a long time ago with this girl who said dinosaurs did not exist. We were in a natural history museum.


Ysanoire t1_iueljki wrote

I went on a date with a guy who said 90% of science is bullshit. He followed it up with saying moon landing was impossible. At the same time he claimed he was an engineer.


willthesane t1_iuf0tf9 wrote

I can believe 90 percent 9f scientific theories are false. But they are shown to be false or incomplete and we make a better theory.


E_B_Jamisen t1_iufxe42 wrote

Yep. Like the Bohr model of the atom. It wasn’t right, but it helped us move towards better understanding.


willthesane t1_iugntn8 wrote

Yep, it was useful. Being right isn't as important as being useful.


Shihai-no-Akuma t1_iudrsxs wrote

If the paintings in the art museum are fake then surely the bones you see are fake too, Dinosaurs doesn’t exist.


IAmSomnabula t1_iuehdoe wrote

Those bones in the ground? God put them there to test our faith.

Also, have you ever noticed creationists are so little evolved?

~ Bill Hicks


Hud1289 t1_iufj7kp wrote

Went to see Wonder Woman with my ex and was legitimately asked if it was based on a true story and who won the war.. least one of the reasons they’re an ex


starfyredragon t1_iuhe6bd wrote

Reminds me of a guy that claimed the G-spot was a myth women made up to shame men. He, also, did not get a second date.


mrsashleyjwilliams t1_iuf9o46 wrote

It took me a long time to convince a coworker that Jack and Rose were not historically factual people.


TheProfessionalEjit t1_iufg554 wrote

There was room on that door.


braellyra t1_iufjs1s wrote

I love that Adam & Jamie actually tested it super thoroughly on Mythbusters. (Turns out it would be impossible to keep the door afloat with 2 people on it, unless they used their life vests to support the door)


pertobello t1_iueyrkp wrote

Aw man, then all that effort to make the movie historically accurate was for naught


911art t1_iuf2zpy wrote

I had a date once that after we saw the Martian with Matt Damon she asked if it was based on a true story. I would say that there wasn't another date after that but honestly the sex was good enough to put up with crazy for a while. But that's a whole another story.


peb396 t1_iufgu2w wrote

Crazy sex is fun, fascinating sex ... until she learns where you work and live.


coloa t1_iufpsmw wrote

Because the Viet Cong bombed Hiroshima.


zombie_chrisbrains t1_iugzqyd wrote

I was in a queue at the video store when the film came out on DVD (back in the day!) and some brainless woman wanted to rent it. She asked the clerk if it was any good and he said "the special effects are great, the sinking of the ship is really well done, very realistic", and she replied "Well, you've just bloody ruined it for me now!"


E_B_Jamisen t1_iufx4oh wrote

It wasn’t til the 4th paragraph that I realized this wasn’t a joke …


justbrowsing1880 t1_iug4o76 wrote

Girl seemed gullible, opportunity missed to marry her! Imagine telling her that [—————-] really is 6 inches!


coarsing_batch t1_iug9nfb wrote

I ask if he fucked her brains out, but clearly somebody beat him to it.


R-E-D-D-l-T t1_iugnxb5 wrote

I would’ve just corrected her, not knowing something can happen to anyone. If she gracefully accepts the new information, what’s wrong then? There are far bigger red flags in people than not knowing if the Titanic was real or not.


941893 t1_iud3ygq wrote

Tre story.My first wife said she wanted to see this movie.I told her there was no point, we all know how it ends.She looked at me like ‟sure you do”....I then told her the boat sinks thinking I was being funny.

She got mad at me for spoiling the end of the movie - She‘s not my current wife.


NuclearDragon1661 t1_iueln03 wrote



scepticratic t1_iuf0hkw wrote

Okay I still haven’t seen that movie. My response to inquiries has always been your joke. I am stunned at your experience.


Savannah_Lion t1_iufbmcu wrote

I'll just leave this here and pretend nothing is wrong.


E_B_Jamisen t1_iufxzqi wrote

You need to put a spoiler warning on your comment. >! Jesus fucking dies? No reason to read the New Testament now!! !<


A_Mirabeau_702 t1_iue8l4i wrote

Leo DiCaprio has asked to be digitally removed from Titanic because it’s now 25 years old.


JohnMcDreck t1_iuf7wxa wrote

Leo's age might change but not the one of his gf


GroundbreakingWall39 t1_iuir0nn wrote

If you've seen Once upon a time in Hollywood, there are some pricelessly hilarious moments of interaction with a ten-year-old girl. You can feel Leo working to stay in character without cracking up. Quentin Tarantino is a great writer-director.


mac2914 t1_iuejfdi wrote

Doesn’t he usually break up with the girls he dates when they turn 25?


Ysanoire t1_iuelqbj wrote

That's the joke


Loggerdon t1_iuevj9j wrote

My favorite:

Tina Fey hosting the Oscars: "Gravity: the movie that proves George Clooney would rather fly off into space and die than spend another minute with a woman his age".


jet_heller t1_iufapog wrote

My theory is that's when they realize what a tool he is so he makes it look like he broke up with them.


VerbatimHeel t1_iud4hk8 wrote

I saw that movie twice.

I was convinced they wouldn’t be dumb enough to hit that iceberg agin!


Bipedal_Warlock t1_iuecbbr wrote

I went to see it in theatres for the first time in high school. My girlfriend decided after that was the best time to break up with me


Haywoodjablowme1029 t1_iuhk6ev wrote

Dodged a bullet. She probably wouldn't have let you on the door with her either.


dickydav t1_iud6750 wrote

Thanks for spoiling the ending. I haven't seen it yet.


DALinProgress t1_iuekq3g wrote

It's still worth seeing for Kate Winslet. She put the tit in Titanic


Mrphoton8 t1_iuf67en wrote



Obelix13 t1_iufa0w7 wrote

Don’t. Leo couldn’t hold the door and we all know how that ends up.


peb396 t1_iufhnoe wrote

"Jack, I'll never let go."

<hears whistle from rescue boat>

<pries his cold, stiff, purple fingers from hers and shoves his ass into the dark abyss>


aioncan t1_iugnty4 wrote

Wasn’t there enough room for two people on that huge door


NinjaElectricMeteor t1_iue1q9f wrote

For such a succesful movie it's strange they never made a sequel.


DaddyKrotukk t1_iuebvll wrote

There is a Titanic II and a Titanic 666.


anxiously-anonymous t1_iuej7ap wrote

And probably a Titanic XXX


uthinxo t1_iuezzo5 wrote

2 Titanic 2 Furious


gorka_la_pork t1_iuewx9v wrote

There was a real life ship called the Titanic II. It sank in the harbor. The hubris of man.


bhl88 t1_iuf0lbb wrote

It did?


gorka_la_pork t1_iuf93cn wrote

It did, but it's not as spectacular as it sounds. It was 16 feet long and sprang a leak when an old repair came apart. I like to imagine someone was playing "My Heart Will Go On" badly on a $3 slide whistle.


Dilaudid2meetU t1_iuf75ii wrote

They made one with Robert Pattinson as a Vampire “Twitanic”


babyteddie t1_iuffmdo wrote

I mean there’s a second titanic that going to sail the same path as the original, so it’s only a matter of time


shuckster t1_iufse8b wrote

Funny, yes, but I’m surprised nobody as mentioned sister ship Britannic, which also sunk.


PhilipWaterford t1_iudby8q wrote

It'd need to be a great-grandparent for the joke to work in 2022.


Dilaudid2meetU t1_iuf6v5o wrote

True, I heard stories about my great-great-grandfather catching Titanic when it was in Theaters way back in 1997. I can’t imagine anybody could have a grandfather that was alive back then.


PhilipWaterford t1_iuf7ufl wrote

In my case it was a great-grandmother (passed away in the 80's) who in 1912 had tea with a friend that was leaving for the States and died a few days later. She could still relate that story when she couldn't remember your name.


Dilaudid2meetU t1_iuf7z83 wrote

Read my comment again, I think you missed the joke.


PhilipWaterford t1_iuf8bmr wrote

Aha 🙂

Posting while half watching F1 🙄


Dilaudid2meetU t1_iuf9i8q wrote

It’s a weak joke anyway - great story though. I had a great aunt with dementia. We were playing the game with a fuzzy tennis ball and Velcro mitts in a park. After two throws I always had to tell her how to play again. Really weirded out 7 year old me.


Some-Register-3901 t1_iuerdx0 wrote

I think that this joke in general is "impossible". The Titanic movie came out in 1997. Assuming that it would make sense for a person to be on the Titanic, at an age where it would make sense to warn people about the sinking, but also possible for them to watch the movie is improbable to say the least. The Titanic sank in 1912, and if we assume that the subject of the joke was at least 12 at the time, that would mean that they would be at least 97 just to watch the premier of the movie. So yeah, impossible.


PhilipWaterford t1_iuetzgc wrote

That's some serious thinking.

I was just going by my great-grandmother telling me stories of saying goodbye to a friend who sailed/died on the titanic and my nan is dead a long time now.


icepyrox t1_iug3lax wrote

So I guess this is one of those jokes that works because you wouldn't have enough time to work out the impossibility before the punchline and therefore still laugh a t the ol switcharoo


sorryibitmytongue t1_iugcy1l wrote

But the joke doesn’t actually say he was on the titanic. It works cos that’s what you assume it means at first, but after the reveal he was watching the film there’s no reason to think he was ever on the ship. I just assumed it meant he had learned about the historical event and went to the cinema to warn people.


Brewtality76 t1_iugjp8d wrote

Titanic is my favorite movie.

Anything that goes down for three hours straight is bound to be great.


UrbanDoriHunter t1_iug3vf6 wrote

Watched water world with an ex. When they finally found the last tinny bit of land I said, wow look it’s the top of Mt Everest. They said I was stupid, Mt Everest is in the Himalayas…


InevitableCry5883 t1_iufb4rr wrote

I figured they iced him out , gave him the cold shoulder.


Pgapete1960 t1_iuf7myn wrote

Titanic did not sink.


Dogettt t1_iufb0o6 wrote



Pgapete1960 t1_iufc8nt wrote

What wasn’t revealed was that when the Titanic was found 3km down,2 letters were missing on the side of the ship revealing an M and a P……….. It was the Olympic……. Titanic’s sister ship.


Dogettt t1_iufcdzr wrote

Mmh. What else is also 'faked'?


Forged04 OP t1_iugcud3 wrote

Those dammed nasa guys faked the moon landing too!! I know it! They even filmed on sight to make it as realistic as possible!!!


Superpe0n t1_iug8zmn wrote

they had movie theaters on the Titanic???