A man applies for a job at the circus

Submitted by bainbrigge t3_yc73r4 in Jokes

“What can you do?” asks the owner

“Really good bird impressions”

“Sorry we’ve got someone who can do those already”

“Oh well” said the man sadly, as he flew out of the tent.

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Comments

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Make_the_music_stop t1_itkq69n wrote

I have a friend who does the best ever seagull impression. He can’t do the noise, he just steals your chips and shits on your car.

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Semi_K t1_itolnuo wrote

A Chicago sunroof

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-_-M_MUNEEB_3-_- t1_itp8n2o wrote

SCHIZOPHRE- I am not crazy! I know he swapped those numbers. I knew it was 1216. One after Magna Carta. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just – I just couldn’t prove it. He covered his tracks, he got that idiot at the copy shop to lie for him. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? He’s done worse. That billboard! Are you telling me that a man just happens to fall like that? No! He orchestrated it! Jimmy! He defecated through a sunroof! And I saved him! And I shouldn’t have. I took him into my own firm! What was I thinking? He’ll never change. He’ll never change! Ever since he was 9, always the same! Couldn’t keep his hands out of the cash drawer! But not our Jimmy! Couldn’t be precious Jimmy! Stealing them blind! And HE gets to be a lawyer? What a sick joke! I should’ve stopped him when I had the chance! …And you, you have to stop him! You

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BPP1943 t1_itmdg3y wrote

A panda walked into a DC restaurant. He ordered a salad, shot the waiter, and left. The manager ran after the panda and asked, “Why did you do that?” The panda replied, “isn’t it obvious? I’m a panda. I eat shoots and leaves.“

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NEIRBO747 t1_itmcu0f wrote

I like the way Hawkeye tells it wrong Sub

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BPP1943 t1_itmcxsi wrote

During the Great Depression, it was difficult for Americans, especially for Jews, to find work. An unemployed despondent Jewish man saw a sign advertising, “Man needed to wear a gorilla suit fir the circus. Must be able to swing above a net.” The man allied and got the job. On his first night performing as a gorilla on the trapeze, he was frightened and called out, “Shma Yisroal, Adonoi elohanu…” when another gorilla on the opposite trapeze responded, “Adonoi echod.”

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gopherhole02 t1_itm5qv8 wrote

He should say who? Not oh well

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mrhacker_121 t1_itlhzdi wrote

twitter moment

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edit: at least clowns are funny amd have a job, and don’t send you death threats for not stanning some twink singer group

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