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Make_the_music_stop t1_iu53sn3 wrote

Anyone else here able to spell "condescending narcissist" correctly on the first try? Yeah, I didn't think so.

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714jayson714 t1_iu5lv4d wrote

Yes, I can. Is there a reward? A trophy? A cookie even? I hope not, it's not that hard.

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repocin t1_iu63c8k wrote

But I wanted a cookie :(

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Financial-Amount-564 t1_iu6djud wrote

Jesus Christ Superstar! What is it with people and cookies? If you want a cookie, visit an unfamiliar website and click Agree! /s

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plateau1999 t1_iu6fkwn wrote

Like pornhub?

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714jayson714 t1_iu7ycvn wrote

Did just that... and now I have herpes, but still no cookies!

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Bo_the_oboe t1_iu6l09s wrote

Sad, pathetic men. smh.

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Financial-Amount-564 t1_iu6on9p wrote

Are you one of those angry vegan feminists who hate everything men stand for no matter how good a person they are deep down inside because they have a penis?

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Bo_the_oboe t1_iu6oxch wrote

No I was referencing the musical you mentioned in your comment. I happen to be male and i dont hate myself, btw. Sorry to continue the train of sarcasm with a tongue-in-cheek reference that's my bad i guess.

Also what the fuck does vegan have to do with anything?

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Financial-Amount-564 t1_iu7cnq7 wrote

I said the first two words. My phone autocorrected and added the third. I'm a fan of the show so it makes sense to me that it did that predictive thing.

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norrisrw t1_iu6jfsp wrote

Your choices are snickerdoodle, oatmeal raisin, or kitchen sink

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Pm-me-tinytits t1_iu6ps2p wrote

A kitchen sink to you, is not a kitchen sink to me. Ok friend?

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norrisrw t1_iu6q674 wrote

I'm not your friend, buddy

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Pm-me-tinytits t1_iu6qb3t wrote

Listen here pal, I’m not your buddy.

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norrisrw t1_iu6qg28 wrote

I'm not your pal, guy

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Pm-me-tinytits t1_iu6qlbc wrote

How did you know my name was guy?

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norrisrw t1_iu6s3bb wrote

Your blue shirt. You wear it every day

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Pm-me-tinytits t1_iu6s9yg wrote

I have no blue shirts. Only happy shirts. I think you got me confused with the

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norrisrw t1_iu6sh2g wrote

administers Force choke

If you are on a diplomatic mission, where is the ambassador?

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Pm-me-tinytits t1_iu6srse wrote

I’m just the secretary, you may need call back later.

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norrisrw t1_iu6t2ry wrote

Look, I'm a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude

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Pm-me-tinytits t1_iu6tdvj wrote

I would look, but I got choked quite forcefully earlier. Now I can’t see to whale.

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norrisrw t1_iu6tisb wrote

Admiral, there be whales here!

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Pm-me-tinytits t1_iu6twp5 wrote

Those aren’t whales matey, them be magical liopleurodons Charlie.

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Pm-me-tinytits t1_iu6u6br wrote

Ima captain! And the captain says no edits Charlie!

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norrisrw t1_iu6uo5o wrote

Look at me. Look at me. I'm the captain now

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Lunatic_DreemurrII t1_iuboch4 wrote

how many pairs of tiny tits have you been pm'd? I'm genuinely curious.

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Pm-me-tinytits t1_iubs176 wrote

Honestly I’d love to say hundreds. But as of today a solid zero tiny tit pics have been sent to me.

0

Pm-me-tinytits t1_iubs1ma wrote

Honestly I’d love to say hundreds. But as of today a solid zero tiny tit pics have been sent to me.

0

blightr t1_iu4q10n wrote

"I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'."
-Bob Newhart

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mattsl t1_iu7xulm wrote

People who like country music definitely think denigrate means something else entirely.

0

ttt443412644 t1_iu4nhhs wrote

Can we please appreciate how much a couple of prentheses add to this joke!

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SuperUnic0rn t1_iu56wq3 wrote

“You can just say pair of parentheses, it’s less syllables and therefore takes less effort”

-exasperated condescending guy

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bittersandsweets t1_iu5dfkf wrote

“You can just say parentheses: it’s more concise.”

-me

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BlueGillMan t1_iu6acju wrote

You can just say “conciser.”

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Financial-Amount-564 t1_iu6dxbk wrote

There must be a way to be concise with conciser.

1

norrisrw t1_iu6ma1g wrote

Must each of your responses bear levels of verbosity usually reserved for graduate theses? There comes a time in the midst of conversation where conservation of words becomes necessary.

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ExhaleShambho t1_iu5w00g wrote

You can just say brackets. Be concise with your wording.

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denjmusic t1_iu5xcbw wrote

Brackets aren't parentheses. Be accurate with your wording.

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The_G1ver t1_iu6hrzw wrote

I've heard British people use "brackets" when referring to parenthesis.

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Financial-Amount-564 t1_iu6dtvo wrote

Agreed.

(I'm agreeing with the person above me because they, like me, agree that the sentence can be made shorter without hindering its meaning.)

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PM_ur_Rump t1_iu4sfws wrote

Yes we're being condescending. Yes that means we're talking down to you. With all that racket from your lips a'flapping, we assumed you didn't notice.

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blackcompy t1_iu6lc9c wrote

Criminally underrated album of the last decade, if you ask me.

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PM_ur_Rump t1_iu6sm8k wrote

Puscifer is a little too weird for many, and not quite weird enough for many others.

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jonnytuananh t1_iu4o4cy wrote

I once passed a midget prisoner clambering down a prison wall.He SNEERED at me, the lttle bastard.Thought to myself: ‟well, that's a little condescending”

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ninefinger_deathgrip t1_iu57tr4 wrote

Was it the same guy who was also a psychic? After his escape newspaper headlines read "Small medium at large"

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sladog6 t1_iu7nsiy wrote

Reminds me of a little babies, climbing, sort of.

Innocents, in ascents, in a sense.

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durgadas t1_iu69n5e wrote

At least he wasn't short with you. Fucking midgets!

0

Waitsfornoone t1_iu4zba5 wrote

People keep telling me I'm an asshole.

(That means I'm not only full of shit, but also talk shit to them).

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Stimmhorn90 t1_iu55xoi wrote

I watched a snobby hustler walk down the stairs the other day. It was a condescending con descending.

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Supa66 t1_iu69y17 wrote

This reminds me of why it's just so difficult being better than everyone else. They all just assume that I'm pretentious.

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Brewtality76 t1_iu6z94t wrote

I believe that anyone that doesn’t know what introspection means needs to take a long hard look at themselves.

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RandomWeeb239 t1_iu8jdg8 wrote

Oh god I can’t believe somebody didn’t get it. It’s a joke you moron /j

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Brewtality76 t1_iu8kjds wrote

I do get it asshole. I was just adding on another play on words.

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RandomWeeb239 t1_iubf6sc wrote

So was I

Edit: so basically I thought that you were acting condescending so I figured that I would join in. So I acted condescending towards you assuming that you didn’t get the joke (which you very much did). Look I’m sorry if I was just rude and not being good enough at this ok. I even put in a /j so that it was obviously a joke

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Dickcheese-a1 t1_iu4q0mn wrote

Seen joke on Jimmy Carr compilations on YT ,somewhere around 2005, he was wearing a grey suit and looked quite chubby.

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grandmasterflaps t1_iu53khr wrote

I think he does it slightly differently.

Iirc it's "I wasn't being patronising, I was being condescending. So don't you worry your pretty little head about it"

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firematt422 t1_iu837yp wrote

I've seen it on coffee mugs, tshirts and worst of all Pinterest.

I wouldn't condescend to posting it myself.

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T3hArchAngel_G t1_iu5ep67 wrote

And here I thought you might be collecting water.

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MpVpRb t1_iu5vhqj wrote

or it means a prisoner escaping by going down a ladder

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-WasabiPea t1_iu52af6 wrote

Aahhhh.. I’m sure you’re just imagining it

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Miklith t1_iu5htaa wrote

I thought it meant a criminal with his finger on the down button in a lift

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dbhathcock t1_iu62r6t wrote

I thought you were an inmate walking down a staircase.

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Look_Specific t1_iu7o27d wrote

I would explain the pun, but doubt any of you could understand it.

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writeorelse t1_iu7t9sq wrote

You should hear about the short guy who escaped prison by climbing down the outer wall.

He was a little con descending.

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pjs1975 t1_iu7z1hy wrote

Hey, did you know that 'Mansplaining' is short for "MAN EXPLAINING"?

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[deleted] t1_iu4qpin wrote

[deleted]

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V-Ropes t1_iu4yinh wrote

Of course you do he explained it after all.

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Kat28943 t1_iu4qv4p wrote

Maybe you're taller than everyone.

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Jock-Tamson t1_iu5sj87 wrote

TIL my use of parentheses makes me seem arrogant and condescending (well that and the arrogant condescension)

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deludedinformer t1_iu6zra0 wrote

I thought it meant you are a Prisoner in an elevator?

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bevelledo t1_iu75j1w wrote

I know what I means!

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Keith-Mayo t1_iu7ihf4 wrote

"I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'."

Bob Newhart

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Icy_Wildcat t1_iu7j114 wrote

Looks like you're still talking up to me, dwarf

1

shanksisevil t1_iu8dm8u wrote

Aweee.. the op learned a new word. Good for you honey!

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skepticalscribe t1_iu8nqvd wrote

I burst out laughing so hard at that. Hit home in an amazing way! 🤣

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DutchOfBurdock t1_iu8zrhl wrote

I got told that too and got fired as prison guard.

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phred_666 t1_iu5atvs wrote

You’re a condescending person.

You’re a condescending person.

You’re a condescending person.

You’re a condescending person.

You’re a condescending person.

You’re a condescending person.

You’re a condescending person.

You’re a condescending person.

You’re a condescending person.

…

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