Beware of certain doctors

Submitted by BruceWillis1963 t3_ya9oix in Jokes

I went to the doctor to have blood drawn and he bit my neck and now I am very sensitive to daylight and I have suddenly become very thirsty at night.

Whatever you do, avoid Dr. Acula!

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kingferret53 t1_it9ysdj wrote

Goddammit, J.D.! You're a doctor, not a screenwriter or a comedian!

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Waitsfornoone t1_ita39a7 wrote

Dr. Frankenstein is another one you should be cautious around.

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uglypaperhaver t1_ita3zc6 wrote

And I suppose next you'll be crying wolf about Dr. Godzilla...

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Juhavas t1_itbexwq wrote

Visited Dr. Frankenstein once, it cost me an arm and a leg

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__Muzak__ t1_itad1i3 wrote

Yeah but he's so fit. Heard he's quite the body builder.

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RegularBasicStranger t1_itcdwzs wrote

Vampires drinking "blood" is actually them drinking wine but seen by their enemies who had not invented wine yet so they concluded vampires drink blood.

so since people that the vampire had married will also be introduced to wine to start drinking "blood", vampires are believed by their enemies that they can infect non vampires to become vampires via "biting" them (actually a metaphor for sex since the penis penetrating a virgin vagina will cause bleeding).

friends of vampires call them elves (they are the same group of people).

so since modern people already drink wine, there will be no extra thirst for "blood" (thirst for "blood" is alcoholism).

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BruceWillis1963 OP t1_itdbspb wrote

Wow, you really know how to elevate a joke to another level.

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RegularBasicStranger t1_itg174j wrote

Don't know what to reply so will add that the "infected" person fears light not because they are sensitive to it, since infected people are dark skinned as opposed to albino or almost albino vampires, but because of social pressure, them not wanting to be seen as different in their new community.

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BruceWillis1963 OP t1_itg8921 wrote

Now you have just taken the last gasp of humour out of it.

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RegularBasicStranger t1_itgbb0y wrote

Humour is invoking some fear that suddenly gets removed by the punchline (failure to remove the fear makes the joke offensive).

So by stating the process which is strongly associated with vampires thus "vampire" neuron activated, which in turn activates names that are associated with vampires such as "dracula" neuron (the neuron has to be learned though so the audience needs to have heard about dracula before else there is no such neuron and the joke will fail).

So with the dracula word sent into the consciousness due to "dracula" neuron activation, Dr. Acula will add enough activation strength to the imagined word via the similarities that the "dracula" neuron gets activated the strongest, more than any other vampire name so there is confidence that it means dracula.

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RileyTaker t1_itc9kob wrote

On the plus side, he’s probably the last doctor you’ll ever need to see.

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