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Xaz1701 t1_ixiievd wrote

Jesus: We'll have 13 waters.

Jesus * winks at disciples *


Klutzy_Albatross_528 t1_ixji3ss wrote

Gold hahah


jimmysnaps t1_ixjvun7 wrote

No, wine


JayColtMartin t1_ixk8719 wrote

I think you missed the joke


Copper_Tree t1_ixk8f66 wrote

I think you did


JaniSensei t1_ixkdcfx wrote

I think I did


olddirtymurch t1_ixmbho0 wrote

They can't stop you from ordering a steak and a glass of water!


stillnotking t1_ixiarwj wrote

Judas: "Hey Jesus, you coming to the last supper?"

Jesus: "The what?"

Judas: "I mean the supper, are you coming to the supper?"


jordantask t1_ixilp1v wrote

“Hey everyone dinner’s on Judas tonight. The Romans gave him 30 pieces of silver.”


mpdukes15 t1_ixjdv9v wrote

It was the Sanhedrin, not the Romans.


chowching t1_ixjz8u4 wrote

Romanes eunt domus!


broken_neck_broken t1_ixk46mr wrote

People called Romanes, they go to the house?


CrazyFanFicFan t1_ixksk8i wrote

It.. It says "Romans, go home"


Pkrudeboy t1_ixl4rst wrote

No it doesn’t. What’s Latin for Roman? Come on!


roominating237 t1_ixk3wnd wrote

Romani ite domum!


madroots2 t1_ixlh90x wrote

It was the jews, not sanhedrin, actually.


TheStatMan2 t1_ixk77df wrote

... but he's getting a bit handsy and playing loose with the wet kisses.


diggitygiggitycee t1_ixk902z wrote

Well, when you let a man buy you dinner, what do you expect?


TheStatMan2 t1_ixk9d4w wrote

I would argue that I was sending out signals by demanding he pay for my 11 other buddies as well, but he wouldn't take the hint. He's on about hanging around "until the cock's crow" but I'm gonna get Pete to try to get rid of him. Although Pete's pretending not to know me...

I asked Thomas if he thought Judas was behaving normally. "I doubt it", he replied.


CorgisDie t1_ixjo5mi wrote

Jesus: One of you shall betray me.

Peter: Is it me, Jesus?

Jesus: No, it is not you, Peter.

Simon: Is it me, Jesus?

Jesus: No, it is not you, Simon.

Judas: Is it me, Jesus?

Jesus: iS iT mE, jEsUs!?!!111


Gabriel_Collins t1_ixjucni wrote

Robin Williams RIP


CorgisDie t1_ixjuo0n wrote

Easily one of the greatest comedians of all time.


supacrispy t1_ixjuyck wrote

Easily the greatest comedian of all time.



CorgisDie t1_ixjv53y wrote

I only say that because George Carlin and Redd Foxx also lived.


supacrispy t1_ixjvvtw wrote

Oh dont get me wrong, they are in the pantheon of comedy gods. But I think Robin Williams is the Zeus of them all.


dgrimone t1_ixkd3eq wrote

Zeus, by which means? While the leader/king/ruler of the Greek god's he was also the worst at maintaining fidelity. While married to his sister he produced many offspring with others (some not even in human form).


jorigkor t1_ixkpczo wrote

Well. Robin did do a lot of cocaine, so who knows what little Robin ended up in.


sriracha4przdnt t1_ixketlo wrote

I hear what you're saying. I also think of Rodney Dangerfield and Mitch Hedburd among the greats too.


Luked0g44O t1_ixlrqeb wrote

Buddy Hackett and Jonathan Winters.


eganvay t1_ixor7h5 wrote

According to Mel Brooks, Richard Pryor was the king.


BlueGillMan t1_ixmczuz wrote

And Lenny Bruce. Lenny Bruce bridged from the old vaudeville tradition to modern stand-up comedy.

Let’s go to the church bazar and see the two headed priest.

His Australian tour was cut short for being too vulgar.

He was tame compared to what we hear today.


JayColtMartin t1_ixk8vop wrote

Wow that's quite the claim! Personally I'm not really sure how he compares to all the comedians that were around before recording devices, anr the ones who arent from earth, so I'll just have to take your word for it


Patio_Orangutan t1_ixlnt17 wrote

History of the World pt 1, Mel Brooks is a waiter at the last supper. Funny scene, this reminds me of it.


rificolona t1_ixkp5c4 wrote

I'm slow - what's the joke?


TheCookieMaster5 t1_ixkxrih wrote

The first line is something Jesus says during the “Last Supper.” The joke is that he’s mocking Judas for even asking, both knowing full well that Judas will be the one to betray him


TicoCR16 t1_ixk7hpf wrote

I don’t get it


CorgisDie t1_ixk814p wrote

It was a joke Robin Williams made back in 2003, in his stand-up special, Live On Broadway.


Wiki_pedo t1_ixko5hb wrote

I think we were hoping for an explanation of the punchline and joke, not where to get (as in, watch) the joke.


aph81 t1_ixl486i wrote

Irony is that Simon was Peter, and Peter betrayed Jesus (by denying him three times)


whooo_me t1_ixi75zl wrote

"Sir, you can't bring your own wine here."

"You're drinking WHAT?!?"


vacationrefunder9 t1_ixjucx6 wrote

Maitre d: "OK, I'll do it for you this time, but only this time."

Judas: "Not a problem."


tazzietiger66 t1_ixkdj12 wrote

Waiter "do you want water or wine ?"

Jesus "what is cheaper?"

Waiter " water is free , wine is 3 shekels"

Jesus " water is fine , I will do the rest "


Sptsjunkie t1_ixkryeu wrote

And that’s how restaurants in Jerusalem became the first to charge a corkage fee.


Ok-Feeling-9999 t1_ixl4gei wrote

It wasn't supposed to be the last supper.

Jesus grabbed the wine and said "drink from this for this is my blood" Then Jesus grabbed the bread and said " eat this for this is my body"

When Jesus started going for the mayonnaise thats when Judas said oh hell naw!


Odd_Adhesiveness4804 t1_ixjzf44 wrote

And jesus said I bet I can feed all thirteen of you for less than a fiver


Regthedog2021 t1_ixlb02t wrote

Jesus trip advisor review - this is definitely the last time I’m coming here

Didn’t like the service It made me cross


burningburnerbern t1_ixk7sld wrote

Sorry to be that guy but can someone explain?


classless_classic t1_ixk8lmb wrote

The painting of the last supper, they are all sitting on one side of a very long table, that could in theory seat 26 people.This painting


Luked0g44O t1_ixlrjq6 wrote

Jesus walks into a motel, tosses three nails down onto the counter, and asks the manager: “Can you put me up for the night?”


andrewavax t1_ixklev1 wrote

I will turn that water into wine!

No you don't Jesus you cheap bastard, you can buy a round like everyone else.


Maleficent-Data-8392 t1_ixktq3d wrote

Oookaaay.... Peter, go out to the lake and get a fish. You'll find the money for the tab in it's mouth.


pokeboy626 t1_ixl4poa wrote

Family guy made this joke


jerryhallo t1_ixljngp wrote

They can’t stop you from ordering a steak with a glass of water!


pdrpersonguy575 t1_ixkmp7a wrote

Wouldn't it be 28?


iong99 t1_ixks841 wrote

12 disciples + 1 Jesus x 2 = 26


pdrpersonguy575 t1_ixksa63 wrote

I know that, but how about the chairs at the ends?

The hypothetical table would be 13×1 right?


iong99 t1_ixkvytb wrote

The painting “The Last Supper” depicts them all sitting on the same side of the table (all faces, no backs of heads) so they would need double the seats to facilitate this need


pdrpersonguy575 t1_ixn0ezh wrote

I just got it, I was trying to imagine a flat table until I understood that they don't need that many seats lol thanks


yeryva t1_ixm0myw wrote

No that is 14.... (12 disciples+1jesus) x2=26.... kids now a days don't know proper math 😝🤪


Dinrik t1_ixkrm25 wrote

Damnit I wish I understood this joke. Why would they need twice the amount of seats????


Smileyface8156 t1_ixkx1j2 wrote

It’s a reference to a famous painting of the last supper where everyone is sitting on the same side, hence them needing a table of 26 chairs for 13 people.


Dinrik t1_ixl0h5z wrote

Right I know I assumed. But still why would they need 26 chairs on one side of the table? Or does it mean that they need a table that is made for 26 people? I think I finally got it on that second theory lol


OneRealRomeo t1_ixl54hz wrote

We’ll have one piece of bread and a glass of wine please.


eaglewatch1945 t1_ixm5py0 wrote

This is no good. All I got is the backs.... Okay... Everybody wanna be in the picture, get up and go to the other side of the table.


Tw3lv3Th1rt33n t1_ixng0q8 wrote

All these G.O.A.T. comedians and no one mentions Pryor.


ICDNVNU2 t1_ixp59ou wrote

Somebody help me out, please.


mojoman718 t1_ixjorms wrote

This is actually much better as a 0lain old joke than the meme.


Ekimklaw t1_ixl502m wrote

I don’t see the point in making Jesus jokes. Out of respect for Him and those who worship Him, I think it should not be done.


DarthScotchy t1_ixlma67 wrote

Who asked or cares?


Ekimklaw t1_ixmjf74 wrote

Your mom.


DarthScotchy t1_ixmlgle wrote

She is atheist, and yo mama jokes and old now

Like yo mama, who was Hitlers art teacher


Ekimklaw t1_ixmna1f wrote

Yep, and she was Stalin’s piano teacher as well!


missiledefender t1_ixknl1e wrote

Tables can take many shapes. “Bench for 26” would work better.


burnur12 t1_ixl1pnu wrote

But that’s not how restaurants work. You don’t go into a restaurant and say, “Chairs for 4, please.”


DialaDuck t1_ixkuf1v wrote

They were refused entry because of dress code. Off they went to the soup kitchen.


Homework-Cultural t1_ixkfrch wrote

History of the World: Part 1 join us next time for Hitler on Ice. Watch Jews in Space. And the greatest joke of the entire movie...... no part 2.


Xak_Ev01v3d t1_ixkcjah wrote

You only need a table for 24 if you’re sitting 11 people on one side, and 1 person at either end.

I don’t care about your “ok but the OP is talking about them all sitting on one side, not at the ends” argument. First of all, the actual painting clearly shows 2 men sitting at the ends of the table. Second, that would still be a table for 28, not 26.


Changingchains t1_ixkg6iy wrote

Yea, but you always get a bigger table so you can spread out. Isn’t that what Jesus is gesturing for…..telling the guys to spread out?


autistic-username t1_ixkphfq wrote

where'd you get 28 from?


Xak_Ev01v3d t1_ixkq2ib wrote

If you can seat 13 on one side, that’s 13x2 plus 1 at the foot and 1 at the head… equals 28. Why are people bad at math.


autistic-username t1_ixkq8cc wrote

ah, i was thinking of one of those tables slide up against the walls that you see at restaurants and stuff, not an open table. Not necessarily bad at math!


[deleted] t1_ixib90g wrote

Ladies and gentlemen, the invention of the buffet.

Now. Who's taking care of things at closing time.

Where's Leonard Cohen when you need him, eh?