Don't wake Up Until Ten

Submitted by Goatmanthealien t3_z5gs4x in Jokes

Three men were discussing aging on the steps of the nursing home.

"Seventy is the worst age to be," announced the seventy year old. "You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!"

"Ah, that's nothing," said the eighty year old. "When you're eighty, you can't take a crap anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran - you sit on the toilet all day and nothing comes out !"

"Actually," said the ninety year old, "ninety is the worst age of all."

"Do you have trouble peeing too?", asked the seventy year old.

"No ... not really. I pee every morning at 6AM. I piss like a race horse - no problem at all."

"Do you have trouble taking a crap?", asked the eighty year old.

"No, not really. I have a great bowel movement every morning at 6:30.", says the ninety year old.

With great exasperation, the seventy year old said, "Let me get this straight. You pee every morning at six o'clock and take a crap every morning at six thirty. What's so tough about being ninety?"

To which the ninety year old replied, "I don't wake up until ten."

​

Edit: thanks for the award!

925

Comments

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Grievous_Nix t1_ixvyql9 wrote

> puts punchline as title

were you also one of those guys who yelled “Snape kills Dumbledore!” to people queueing at bookstores for that HP book?

394

ofekpere t1_ixw03ca wrote

I think this joke needs to be updated to 70, 80, 90.

60’s not too old anymore... is it? Right? I am not old guys

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azanker t1_ixw0t1q wrote

My 86 year old mother would like to know how he knows what time he craps and pees if he does not wake up till 7:00?

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Feisty-Pumpkin-6359 t1_ixwmwm0 wrote

Continuity issues with the age, I guess the worst part is the dementia

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Seanattikus t1_ixwnnna wrote

It's funny, but you ruined the punchline by making it the title of the post.

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gorwraith t1_ixxbjoa wrote

Replying to ofekpere (#692,244)

My sixty three year old FIL just spent a week at my house. He woke up at 5 every morning. Stomped down every stair from the second floor the basement, turned on the basement TV loud enough that he could hear it back on the first floor as he banged every pan in the kitchen looking for the coffee beans we left out for him (and showed him) the night before.

As soon as anyone one else was awake he went back up to his room for a nap. He came back down when brunch was served, then went back downstairs to watch more TV. Sometimes getting the kids to end their show. He only came back up for dinner and didn't talk to anyone that came down to say hi.

After dinner we invited him to join us for a game. And he denied because..."I've spent all day with you people and I need some time to myself."

He's 63. My MIL is 64 and she drank, cooked, cleaned, and partied with the rest of us.

Long story short, some people are very old in their 60s and some aren't.

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embarrassed_error365 t1_ixxpl0y wrote

Saw the punchline a mile away, since that’s what we started with

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Vinaflynn t1_ixxuz69 wrote

if I'm ever in a nursing home, I will be doing this right at shift change every day...for shis and giggles. JK, just taking the pss. I wouldn't do that unless the staff sucked.

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AlexanderHamilton04 t1_ixzuy1z wrote

>"What's so tough about being eighty ?"

"What's so tough about being ninety ?"
(Obviously the memory goes at ninety too.)

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