There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail with illegible addresses…

Submitted by Biriuk1337 t3_z2fu71 in Jokes

One day, a letter came addressed in shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read:

“Dear God,

I am an 83-year-old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?

Sincerely, Edna”

The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman.

The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends. Christmas came and went. A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God.

All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened. It read:

“Dear God,

How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends about your wonderful gift. By the way, there was $4 missing. I think it might have been those bastards at the post office.

Sincerely, Edna”

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Comments

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hambottas24 t1_ixgormm wrote

I read a similar story before… about a farmer whose fields had been destroyed by hail and then writing a letter to God

332

PriyanjanMitra t1_ixgynur wrote

It's a story in 10th grade in Indian textbooks lmfao

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Sriniketh_Sriram t1_ixhe56g wrote

Ah a fellow cbse student

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Blue_Falcon_132 t1_ixhgeip wrote

Ahh some fellow cbse students

31

Midnight_Yymiroth t1_ixhh54j wrote

Which story is? The farmer one or the grandma one? Also can you send the story about the farmer I'm interested.

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rest_in_war t1_ixhhvj6 wrote

A farmer has his crops destroyed by a locust swarm so he writes to God asking for a 100 bucks. The post office people see it but only manage 70 and give it to him. He writes a second letter telling God not to send it through the post office dudes because they "kept 30 for themselves"

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Primordial_Dimidium t1_ixhq4d5 wrote

Ah, so many fellow cbse students. Was that is HIndi or in English?

3

EatCrud t1_ixhrpm2 wrote

I heard this joke before but not until I read it a second time.

10

MysteryHogFather t1_ixhtlfl wrote

This actually got a chuckle out of me. Have a nice day :)

3

EatCrud t1_ixjhh1r wrote

Thanks. I will have a nice day but only because you told me to.
You do the same.

1

pm_me_flaccid_cocks t1_ixg8sfv wrote

Dude. Edna is a fucking cunt.

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HaruhiSuzumiya69 t1_ixhip58 wrote

Why? She's acting perfectly fine based on the knowledge she has.

She asked God for 100$, and God sent her 96$. Two possible explanations exist: either God stiffed her for 4$, or the postal people did. Obviously there's no reason for God to steal money, so the postal people must have stole it.

There would be no problems if the postal people were just honest, and explained that they were the ones giving the 96$. Then everyone would be happy. But they were dishonest, and paid the price.

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johnp299 t1_ixhvsod wrote

There's a story about a woman and young son relaxing at a beach. A huge wave comes along and washes the kid out to sea. The woman shrieks, runs back and forth, then gets on her knees in the sand, trembling. She prays, "Oh God! Oh God! Please bring my boy back! He's everything to me!" Five minutes later, a giant whirlwind appears over the water, spraying mist everywhere. The boy emerges from the tornado, and the wind gently lowers him to the sand. She embraces him. The lady stands and opens her arms to the heavens. She says, "He had a hat..."

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Little_Somerled t1_ixgzfxa wrote

Nice variation on the Mexican folk tale: https://www.deccanherald.com/amp/content/227678/a-letter-god-folktale-mexico.html

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FalconPhantom t1_ixh8q3v wrote

Didn't expect to see a link to Deccan Herald here.

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rest_in_war t1_ixhhzd7 wrote

The Mexican farmer story is actually in English Textbooks in India for the 10th grade

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Little_Somerled t1_ixhmu3i wrote

I did not knew that (I'm Dutch), but I remembered hearing such a story many years ago. After a search I found this story in the Deccan Herald (I don't know that newspaper by the way).

Apparently the original story was written by the writer Gregorio Lopez (1895-1966). It is about a poor campesino (smallholder) called Lencho who lost his crops in a hail storm.

3

Duonic t1_ixh2huc wrote

This was in our English course textbook.

Not exactly this, but the main story revolved around a farmer whose farm was ruined by a swarm of locusts. He tries to get help from God and this happens.

Anyways, it was our last year textbook and it's standard textbook here and every school following this study pattern will have to use these books only after 9th grade, so everyone will read it at least once if they decide to go through this patter (major examination and study pattern in out country)

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Trama-D t1_ixgchar wrote

Gee, wouldn't it be a shame if "God" wrote her a letter to put her in place and her heart, in her old age, I dunno...

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Musaks t1_ixh1r6v wrote

i could understand that sentiment if this was an actual story....it's just a joke ^^

1

SurvivorNumber42 t1_ixhco0a wrote

It's a joke, folks, and pretty funny at that.

Plus, we all know the post office would "lose" her money anyway.

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tinfoiltophat1 t1_ixijuvg wrote

> He thought he should open it to see what it was about

And then he got fired and arrested for mail tampering.

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Jberg18 t1_ixjm5rk wrote

I woman and her child were walking on the beach when a large wave came in and dragged the child far out into the ocean. The woman prayed to God and pleaded, "Dear God, Please save my son!"

After her prayer another wave came in and left the boy on the beach. Looking the boy over she found him cold and wet but unharmed. Looking up to the sky the woman once again prayed to god and said, "He Had a Hat."

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Biriuk1337 OP t1_ixjml7n wrote

This one also got a good chuckle from me 😂

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masteraleph t1_ixgj9nu wrote

Post office writes back “God is dead and we have killed Him”

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Pagise t1_ixiaut6 wrote

old, but good.

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FingazMC t1_ixij01r wrote

Haha yeah that got a lol out of me

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endoftheroad1938 t1_ixhmjux wrote

​

closer to home than you think; every year, thousands of parcels and letters go missing!

postal workers looking for extra pay?

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Vast_Cricket t1_ixi5cig wrote

$4 missing. I think it might have been those bastards at the post office

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ephmal t1_ixjyd2h wrote

I laughed out loud. That was good. 😊

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NoneOfThisIsFine t1_ixhztzd wrote

In the real story, “God” sent back thoughts and prayers.

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GodzeallA t1_ixgond4 wrote

Who writes a letter to God. Would be better if it was addressed to Santa Claus

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Musaks t1_ixh1uwo wrote

you think an elderly woman writing a letter to god is less believable than an elderly woman writing a letter to santa claus?

​

What the fuck

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GodzeallA t1_ixhwpmh wrote

I didn't say they had to retain the elderly identity, did I?

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Musaks t1_ixlacch wrote

you proposed one change, so the baseline assumption is that only that changes

Otherwise it becomes a completely worthless statement, and every reader needs to imagine the argument themselves?

​

​

But okay, lets entertain the idea that you implied, it isn't an elderly lady writing to god, it's a child that is so young it writes to santa claus. So that small child lost 100$ and has no parents or family at all and is supposed to have guests over for a fancy dinner?

Yeah, totally better joke. sooooo believeable. Damn, you thought that through really really well

0

Waitsfornoone t1_ixhetrf wrote

Well, it appears they both have a long white beard, and no one has seen either since ... whenever.

0