Submitted by Cavalier4Beer t3_z63fqr in Jokes
Chuck Norris lost his virginity to the Statue of Liberty.
Da Vinci’s Vitruvian Man is Chuck Norris’s baby picture.
Waffles didn’t exist until Chuck Norris punched a pancake.
Comments
Ok_Climate_9254 t1_iy2kzxk wrote
Hahaha, love it.
santigualapont t1_ixzj0en wrote
Chuck Norris once threw a grenade that killed 20 people. Then it exploded.
AffineConcrete39 t1_ixz6ylp wrote
Chuck Norris did not go to college, college came to Chuck Norris.
[deleted] t1_ixza3fg wrote
[deleted]
Jester_1982 t1_ixz9hcr wrote
What do you mean by jokes? Everything is true, Chuck Norris can even break the law of physics. The dude counted to infinity.... Twice.
PokeBattle_Fan t1_iy2pvjm wrote
¸And the fine print at the end of the Guiness book of record states that all records are held by Chuck Norris and that the records seen in the book are simply the closest to him people have ever gotten.
WinterOnJupiter t1_iy0rm7y wrote
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
khellstrom123 t1_iy1ekno wrote
Chuck Norris doesn’t do push ups, he pushes the world down.
SR_Goat t1_iy28uwy wrote
Chuck Norris once cut a hot knife with a stick of butter
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father
Chuck Norris won a contest of breathing under the water, his opponent was a fish
PokeBattle_Fan t1_iy7hct3 wrote
> Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father
Actually, scientists found out that there was no way Chuck Norris could have a father. The only accepted theory at the moment is that he went back in time and fathered himself.
karma_the_sequel t1_iy2lfhq wrote
Chuck Norris vacationed in the Virgin Islands. By the time he left, they were just the Islands.
PokeBattle_Fan t1_iy2pwxa wrote
Chuck Norris once peed in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke.
Today, that truck is known as Optimus Prime.
Emergency-Initial846 t1_iy3g8cz wrote
Chuck Norris can withdraw money from atm using his visiting card.
GeetarDoctor t1_ixz6ou8 wrote
Even Andre the Giant lost to Chuck Norris less than 3 seconds into the first round.
Shongidaman t1_iy0gorw wrote
Chuck Norris once peed next to a semi truck. That truck is now Optimus Prime.
doowgad1 t1_ixz6klg wrote
Imagine the personality of a Kevin Spacey with the martial arts prowess of Chuck Norris. You've got Trigger Keaton, the most obnoxious man in Hollywood. Except now he's dead and six people whose lives he ruined are forced to find the real killer.
alldaywatcher t1_ixzpcrg wrote
Chick Norris password for his computer is the last five digits of pi.