The rabbit and the bear

Submitted by jptrooper24 t3_z57ubv in Jokes

One day a bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods, when suddenly a magic stork flys down from the sky and calls the two of them over.

The stork says he's seen them be aggressive to eachother for weeks now and he'll offer them both 3 wishes each if they stop. The bear being greedy says "I'm going first" so the stork says Ok and asks the bear his first wish..

"I want and big huge bear cock says the bear, so I can fuck the shit outta the other bears with my big bear cock". The stork waves his magic wand and gives the bear his Big huge bear cock.

He turns to the rabbit for his first wish. "I want a motorcycle helmet" says the rabbit. A little confused the stork says okay and waves his magic wand and gives the rabbit a motorcycle helmet. He turns to the bear and asks for his second wish.

"I want all the other bears in these woods to be turned to female he says, so I can fuck them all with my big bear cock". The stork waves his magic wand and turns all the bears in the surrounding forest to female, he turns to the rabbit for his second wish..

"I want a motorcycle" says the rabbit. Okay says the stork and waves his magic wand and gives the rabbit a motorcycle. Then turns to the bear for his last wish.

"I want all the bears in the rest of the world to be female so I can fuck them all with my big bear cock" says the bear. So the stork waves his wand and turns all the bears in the world to female and the bear looks pleased. So he asks the rabbit for his final wish.

The rabbit pauses for a second, puts on the helmet and climbs on the bike, starts it up and then he says "I wish the Bear was gay"

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Comments

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solemnlyOvergrow932 t1_ixul8ga wrote

I thought this was going to be this joke:

>A bear and a rabbit are in the woods taking a shit.
>
>The bear says to the rabbit, ‟Hey rabbit, you got a problem with shit sticking to your fur?”
>
>The rabbit replies, ‟No, bear, I don‘t.”
>
>So the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his ass with him.

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catsRspies t1_ixuvhxt wrote

I think the punchline is: So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.

Goes like this

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods.

Bear turns to the rabbit and says, "Excuse me, do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur?"

The rabbit says, "No."

So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.

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jejunum32 t1_ixvr6xk wrote

I hate to be that guy but if the rabbit says shit doesn’t stick to his fur then why would the bear wipe his ass with him? Shit wouldn’t leave the bear and go to the rabbit fur.

We use toilet paper bc shit sticks to toilet paper.

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BodaciousBadongadonk t1_ixvvri3 wrote

That's why he asks if he has a problem with it instead. I was trying to think of this one at work a while ago and couldn't quite remember it right, instead I said "do you have an issue with shit sticking to your fur?"

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jejunum32 t1_ixwhhg4 wrote

Problem with shit sticking to his fur? I imagine a rabbit would say yes if shit actually stuck to his fur. If he says no, then that means shit don’t stick to his fur.

If shit don’t stick to his fur then he would make bad toilet paper

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Dietcokeisgod t1_ixwret9 wrote

No, regardless of how well shit sticks to his fur, the rabbit is likely to take issue, ie, 'have a problem' with shit sticking to his fur. He doesn't like it.

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ScreamoNeo t1_ixyvs8z wrote

Same. My dad told me that one when i was a kid and it’s always so fucking brilliant

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the_wessi t1_ixun32o wrote

No no no no. The first wish of the rabbit was a backpack full of carrots, the second one was the motorcycle and the third one was the gay thing. Rabbits don’t wear helmets.

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masterhoyla t1_ixvechw wrote

In the one I've heard, rabbit's last wish was that the bear would never have erection again.

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AlfieDestructo t1_ixy28xy wrote

That was a fox and a rabbit in that joke. Voe helevettiläene.

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kyleluvscoffee t1_ixw6vu0 wrote

The helmet would have to have holes for his ears or else they would get all smushed up inside the helmet and that wouldn't be very comfortable for the rabbit. Why would he wish for that? he should wish for a helmet with holes in it for his ears. Just saying that would probably be the more logical choice.

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wadedoto t1_ixuzi8u wrote

That must have been unbearable

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mango_boii t1_ixw4drj wrote

Okay but when does the bear wipe his ass with the rabbit?

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Indaflow t1_ixvebuo wrote

One day there is a rabbit and a dear both shitting in the woods.

The bear turn to the rabbit and says “don’t you hate it when the shit gets stuck to your fur”

The rabbit says “that doesn’t happen to Me I just shit these little pellets.”

The bear grabs the rabbit, wipes his ass and says “we’ll now you do.”

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H3lw3rd t1_ixwni3l wrote

So, did the bear eat the dear or what?

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MisterVictor13 t1_ixwfyvz wrote

Why did the bear wish for the same thing twice?

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kacak3 t1_ixulqne wrote

That’s a fat R.I.P

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keyman716 t1_ixv172x wrote

Lol, long but worth it!!

0

Tazo3 t1_ixvisal wrote

Repost but still funny as fuck

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SmirkingMan t1_ixvwwg6 wrote

You fucked up the copy-paste entirely, your bear's 2nd and 3rd wish are identical, you smelly octopus' arsehole. SMH.

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covert_curiosity t1_ixw9ltp wrote

Wish 2: “in these woods” Wish 3: “in the world”

But I thought the same thing as you at first, minus the smelly octopus’ arsehole part.

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jptrooper24 OP t1_ixwhtsl wrote

The bear's getting greedier as the jokes unfolding.. first nearby then nah fuck it the whole world.. only for it to back fire

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