There was a lady who was cheating on her husband with a boyfriend. One day while they were getting intimate she hears her husband pull into the driveway. Her boyfriend says "oh no! What should we do?!" She says "hurry! Get dressed and go to the living room!" Once they're in the living room she starts sprinkling baby powder all over him. He says "what are you doing?" She says "I'm making you white like a statue. Just stand in a pose, my husband will never know you're real, because he's stupid!" Her husband comes in and sees them and says to her "what's that?" She says "Well, me and Mrs. Johnson next door went shopping today. She has one just like it. I liked hers so much that she took me to get one." He shrugs it off and goes about his business. That night the boyfriend is still standing in the living room still posed, too afraid to escape. He hears the husband wake up and open the bedroom door. The husband walks past him, opens the fridge, pops open a beer and makes a bologna sandwich. He then walks up to the boyfriend and hands him the beer and sandwich and says "Here, I was next door at Mrs.Johnson's house stuck in that position for 2 days and no one gave me anything to eat."
Comments
Ch1EEEEEF t1_ix85ko1 wrote
Be Polite,
Lattethecoffeaddict t1_ix87c8x wrote
Be Efficient,
SWManiac_ t1_ix8jtii wrote
Have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
LilTimmy_the_second t1_ixb96b1 wrote
Have SEX
TheDarkMonarch1 t1_ixbl228 wrote
I hope when you try to sleep tonight your bed is filled with stale toast crumbs and your pillows are cold, but soaked with saliva.
AdOk932 t1_ix790zq wrote
Bros before hoes
Pilebucket t1_ix8px0t wrote
Hoes, donβt feel all sad and blue. Cause most of us niggas is hoes too.
shadowlov3r t1_ix9iwst wrote
Listen ip heres a story about a little guy who lives in a blue world
TheDarkMonarch1 t1_ixbl46a wrote
Turi ip ip ip ip
jiroseichi t1_ix7bc6a wrote
I feel your pain bro
physicist314 t1_ix80inx wrote
Plot twist, the man is the unwitting victim of a very strange and elaborate cuckold kink.
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Huckleberry_Hound_76 t1_ix8dtmb wrote
Fucking brilliant!
Better-Ad9522 t1_ix82h7r wrote
ππ
olivervaa t1_ixacmzs wrote
I am for reaaaal
mEistEdEdrakE t1_ixbacyx wrote
"He's stupid" No, he just doesn't want to waste unnecessary energy on his brain while dealing with you.
asidereject980 t1_ix6yv88 wrote
Professionals have standards