Submitted by phoeebsy t3_z0qb6h in Jokes

There was a lady who was cheating on her husband with a boyfriend. One day while they were getting intimate she hears her husband pull into the driveway. Her boyfriend says "oh no! What should we do?!" She says "hurry! Get dressed and go to the living room!" Once they're in the living room she starts sprinkling baby powder all over him. He says "what are you doing?" She says "I'm making you white like a statue. Just stand in a pose, my husband will never know you're real, because he's stupid!" Her husband comes in and sees them and says to her "what's that?" She says "Well, me and Mrs. Johnson next door went shopping today. She has one just like it. I liked hers so much that she took me to get one." He shrugs it off and goes about his business. That night the boyfriend is still standing in the living room still posed, too afraid to escape. He hears the husband wake up and open the bedroom door. The husband walks past him, opens the fridge, pops open a beer and makes a bologna sandwich. He then walks up to the boyfriend and hands him the beer and sandwich and says "Here, I was next door at Mrs.Johnson's house stuck in that position for 2 days and no one gave me anything to eat."

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Comments

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asidereject980 t1_ix6yv88 wrote

Professionals have standards

190

Ch1EEEEEF t1_ix85ko1 wrote

Be Polite,

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Lattethecoffeaddict t1_ix87c8x wrote

Be Efficient,

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AdOk932 t1_ix790zq wrote

Bros before hoes

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Pilebucket t1_ix8px0t wrote

Hoes, don’t feel all sad and blue. Cause most of us niggas is hoes too.

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jiroseichi t1_ix7bc6a wrote

I feel your pain bro

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physicist314 t1_ix80inx wrote

Plot twist, the man is the unwitting victim of a very strange and elaborate cuckold kink.

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keestie t1_ixar81z wrote

This is hilarious, but it seems misdirected.

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olivervaa t1_ixacmzs wrote

I am for reaaaal

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mEistEdEdrakE t1_ixbacyx wrote

"He's stupid" No, he just doesn't want to waste unnecessary energy on his brain while dealing with you.

3