Submitted by phoeebsy t3_z0qb6h in Jokes

There was a lady who was cheating on her husband with a boyfriend. One day while they were getting intimate she hears her husband pull into the driveway. Her boyfriend says "oh no! What should we do?!" She says "hurry! Get dressed and go to the living room!" Once they're in the living room she starts sprinkling baby powder all over him. He says "what are you doing?" She says "I'm making you white like a statue. Just stand in a pose, my husband will never know you're real, because he's stupid!" Her husband comes in and sees them and says to her "what's that?" She says "Well, me and Mrs. Johnson next door went shopping today. She has one just like it. I liked hers so much that she took me to get one." He shrugs it off and goes about his business. That night the boyfriend is still standing in the living room still posed, too afraid to escape. He hears the husband wake up and open the bedroom door. The husband walks past him, opens the fridge, pops open a beer and makes a bologna sandwich. He then walks up to the boyfriend and hands him the beer and sandwich and says "Here, I was next door at Mrs.Johnson's house stuck in that position for 2 days and no one gave me anything to eat."

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AdOk932 t1_ix790zq wrote

Bros before hoes

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physicist314 t1_ix80inx wrote

Plot twist, the man is the unwitting victim of a very strange and elaborate cuckold kink.

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mEistEdEdrakE t1_ixbacyx wrote

"He's stupid" No, he just doesn't want to waste unnecessary energy on his brain while dealing with you.

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