A couple was going to get married…

Submitted by Prairiegirl321 t3_z2xjee in Jokes

but unfortunately they had a car crash and died. Before the gates of St Peter they stood thinking maybe they could get married in heaven. So they ask St Peter, and Peter says ”Well it’s quite rare, but let me see what I can do.” So St Peter goes into heaven. As the couple sits for a couple of months waiting for an answer, they begin doubting whether they should, considering the eternal aspects. Another month goes by and finally St Peter emerges from heaven, very bedraggled, and says “Yes, you can get married.” The couple says “But what if it doesn’t work, can we then get a divorce“? St Peter, red in the face and totally annoyed, slams his clipboard down, and says Geez! The couple are shocked and scared. They say “What’s wrong?” St Peter says “Listen, it took me 3 months to find a priest up here, do you have any idea how long it will take to find a lawyer?!”

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Wild_Albatross7534 t1_ixjqg4t wrote

Wait, there’s a priest there? Loved the joke.

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bitey87 t1_ixkxks4 wrote

He used the back door.

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RevWASpooner t1_ixjwoc7 wrote

Long setup, but the punchline was worth it. Thanks for sharing!

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Purple_Carob99 t1_ixjcbg9 wrote

Hahaha I just snorted my morning coffee all over my phone. Brilliant 🤣🤣🤣

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Mental_Mammoth t1_ixktdxv wrote

Thanks for letting us know about the mediocrity of your body at doing two simple tasks together

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DeeChillum420 t1_ixjvbk5 wrote

Great joke all around! I've heard it before around here and I love it lol xD

Also it's funny because it ties into all that bible study I had to do growing up. Thats literally a thing Jesus says somewhere on both parts. For the preist is something along the line as greater is the judgement for he that steers the ship.. so all preists are fucked pretty much if they mislead even one person... Then for lawyers Jesus is pretty much like yea lawyers suck.. they ain't going to heaven...

But I mean on the bright side if a camel can't pass through the eye of a needle I guess where all fucked anyways. Like fr... How the hell do you get to heaven? Definitely don't be camel cause the bar is set unrealisticly high...

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KnightGlyder t1_ixkp62j wrote

The "Eye of the Needle" was a narrow gateway into Jerusalem. Since camels were heavily loaded with goods and riders, they would need to be un-loaded in order to pass through. Therefore, the analogy is that a rich man would have to similarly unload his material possessions in order to enter heaven.

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No-Elephant-Dies t1_ixks2t7 wrote

Wow. Now that is something I didn't know.

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KnightGlyder t1_ixm0by3 wrote

Many people don't. Growing up I used to think this was another method for indoctrination or engrained class warfare against the rich. In actuality, it was wisdom that by being rich or well off you had to humble yourself.

There's simple truth in the Spider-Man catchphrase "With great power comes great responsibility." It applies to this lesson of success too, that the more you acquire, you should still remember in the end we are all equals.

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TheRealCoochieBoy t1_ixmwlmg wrote

There is no historical or archaeological evidence that such a gate ever existed, nor is it mentioned in the Bible. This is a myth.

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CX-97 t1_ixka8vx wrote

This is a great retelling of a classic

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kingoflosers211 t1_ixkvj6b wrote

Why is it always st Peter, tho?

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Prairiegirl321 OP t1_ixkxj2r wrote

It’s a trope, like a your Mama joke or “A priest, a rabbi and a __ walk into a bar.” I was at lunch once with a bunch of musicians, and they spontaneously went around the table and everyone told a different Saint Peter joke! That was when I realized, I need at least one solid St Peter joke in my repertoire.

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Acrobatic_Lead2578 t1_ixl4c0l wrote

There's a verse in the Bible that mentions something about the gates of hell and has Jesus telling Peter that he's giving him the keys to heaven; some Christians interpret that as meaning Peter is the guardian of heaven and is the one who greets people on arrival and lets them in. A quick google search says it's Matthew 16:18-19.

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Frnklfrwsr t1_ixmn4gd wrote

The weird thing is that there’s a surprisingly large number of lawyers in heaven and St Peter can’t figure out why, but their paperwork all checks out and he can’t find any flaws in the reasonings in their briefs. Their citations of biblical precedents are spot on and he has no choice but to let them in.

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Derser713 t1_ixmnpln wrote

....

The pope made it into haven. Petrus shakes hos hand, than a low ranking angel brings him into a widowless hole of a room to life in.

Some time later, a man reaches haven, petrus personally leads him to jesus and god. That, with all angels as honorguards is brought into a palace, only secound to god.

The Pope to Petrus:"I have served the lord all my life. I have converted heavens and heretics into true believers.... and ..."

Petrus:"popes in haven arn't as rare as one thinks.... but he, he is the first teacher."

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13Fleas t1_ixmzpuh wrote

It will require 2 lawyers

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PearlTheGeckoGirl t1_ixnazx1 wrote

I've heard this one before, but it's a good joke and it's been a while. Have an upvote.

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CaptainGamer008 t1_ixpfsv9 wrote

An actually funny joke on this sub? That's illegal!

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MulligansGM t1_ixktv0o wrote

Good joke but needs some editing

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