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Waitsfornoone t1_iy6m97z wrote

Right behind her was an elderly lady with a shaky voice asking "do y-y-ooou-u s-s-sell vib-b-rat-ors?"

The salesman told her "yes we do, ma'am" to which she replies "h-h-how d-do I t-turn-n it off-ff?"


blocky_jabberwocky t1_iy8a759 wrote

The fact that this is told in conjunction with the first joke makes it absolutely amazing


Lanky-Major-2800 t1_iy7isof wrote

The real joke is in the comments


DuckyRedditor405 t1_iy7xsjy wrote



ballrus_walsack t1_iy84yvh wrote

The real comment is in the jokes.


DuckyRedditor405 t1_iy850vo wrote

That’s kinda philosophical lmao


EatCrud t1_iy89bum wrote

Comments to the comments are in the comments.


FocusMaster t1_iy6jjry wrote

How much for the red one. Ma'am that's the fire extinguisher.


Super_gman t1_iy83g2o wrote

How much for the brown and green one?

Ma'am, that's a date palm!


Initial_Chart_5151 t1_iy7u7lo wrote

A woman goes to the shop and buys a cucumber. The grocer asks, “would you like it sliced?”

“I’ve got a fanny not a slot machine”


GhostTycoon t1_iy86nxo wrote

A woman walks into a deli. She orders a huge salami. The butcher asks “would you like it sliced?”

“Does it look like my ass is a piggy bank?”


Only-Advantage-6153 t1_iy864sc wrote

Would probably work better with a baguette. Who tf offers to slice a cucumber?


bdubz325 t1_iy86em7 wrote

Counter point who would assume you're sticking a baguette in a coochie?


LadeeAlana t1_iy7lgpx wrote

What did the Scottish lady say to the kilted salesman climbing a ladder in the clothing store?

"That looks very interesting right up there."

What's the definition of a slutty Scottish woman?

Someone who will go after anyone in a skirt.


chief_lure t1_iy7e8j1 wrote

I know a similar one but the punch line is the fire extinguisher.


OkComplex2858 t1_iy9seo0 wrote

I was an ambulance EMT. My FAVORITE accident - two German college women who rolled their rental car with a trunk full of every manner of sex toys known - leaving a bright, colorful 20' by 40' debris field of sex toys all over the Alaskan highway on a busy summer afternoon. Women were taken to the local clinic and were fine - the old guy from the tow truck station that had to pick it all up one piece at time - in front of 40 cars waiting for the cops to finishs their end - him shaking his head after picking each dildo or toy up.. not so much.


AzLibDem t1_iy8412n wrote

"I'm picking out a thermos, for you"


WhittyO t1_iy8c6t4 wrote

Not an ordinary thermos will do


Dont-mind-me-nothere t1_iy8lp6b wrote

An extra special thermos, you can buy, with vinyl and stripes and a cup built right in…


Gaeleng t1_iy9gbk1 wrote

Man that thermos is super veiny.


R9D11 t1_iy8bx7c wrote

Everything is a dildo if you are brave enough...


Omegaprimus t1_iyanmiq wrote

The version I heard of this was “a guy got a new job at a sex store, the manager trains him and shows him around and says:’hey I have to go do somethings I will be back in about an hour’ so the guy is sitting at the counter and a white woman comes in and asks for dildos, he says we have a white one and a black one, she says I have never had a black one before I will take that one. A few mins later a black lady comes in and again asks for a dildo he explains we have a white one and a black one, she says I have never had a white one I will take that one. Well about 10 minutes later a blonde comes in again asking for a dildo, he says we have a white one and a black one, she says, I have both of those do you have anything different? He says yes!, we have a plaid one that just came in, it costs twice as much, she says yes I will take that one. The manager comes back and asks so how did you do? He says I sold a white model, a black model and your thermos.


xanthraxoid t1_iy7si2b wrote

This is eerily almost exactly the same joke as I remember seeing in a sketch show back in the '80s - Smith and Jones, perhaps...?


blueSnowfkake t1_iy9mbgg wrote

I thought the answer was going to be something about him having an erection under his kilt.


Internal_Fennel_849 t1_iy7biwa wrote


There's one more, but I would feel kilty showing it to in here.


1ofakindtypeofguy t1_iy6ujqx wrote

How much for the shinny metal one ? that's a trash can lady ! And if you need that then either just forget about getting off as it's going to kill you, or let me set up an only fan's and we'll cash in on your caved in credit card swipe slot !


Xak_Ev01v3d t1_iy7p89m wrote

Sounds pretty hateful when you try to elaborate like that.