Three guys decide to stop for a drink after work on Christmas Eve.

Submitted by specious_foofaraw t3_z75xxm in Jokes

One thing leads to another and they end up barhopping all night. While going to one last place, they get in a terrible accident and all three are killed.

They find themselves standing in front of the Pearly Gates.

St Peter tells them, "Boys, you're in luck. Since it's Christmas, we have a special policy. Show me anything that shows that you're celebrating the day, and you get into Heaven."

One guy pulls out his lighter and flicks it. "Christmas candle."

"OK, it's a stretch, but you're in."

Second guy pulls out his keys and jingles them. "Christmas bells."

"Whatever, you're in."

Third guy pulls a pair of women's panties out of his pocket.

St. Peter says, "Hold up. I'm willing to stretch a point today, but what do panties have to do with Christmas?"

"They're Carol's"

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caltroppsederapp42 t1_iy5o239 wrote

A famous professor of surgery died and went
to heaven.
At the pearly gates he was asked by the gatekeeper: "Have you ever
committed a sin you truly regret?"
"Yes," the professor answered sadly. "When I was a young candidate at
the Hospital of Saint Lucas, we played soccer against a team from the
Community Hospital, and I scored a goal, which was off-side. But the
referee did not see it, and the goal won us the match and the
tournament. I regret that now."
"Well," said the gatekeeper. "That is a very minor sin. You may enter."
"Thank you very much, Saint Peter," the professor answered.
"You're welcome, but I am not Saint Peter," said the gatekeeper. "He is
having his lunch break. I am Saint Lucas.

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CarneDelGato t1_iy8c6ev wrote

One of them has an erection. St. Peter says, “What about it?”

“I Died Hard!”

2