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USMCWrangler t1_j25d61x wrote

My wife and I are into S&M.

She sleeps and I masturbate.

196

almondyeyes t1_j29dpq5 wrote

This is too funny, needed the laugh, thanks buddy..

P.S. I am a female and it was usually the opposite for us, except he slept and I was clueless about masturbation. Lol

1

cyclefreaksix t1_j25bcl9 wrote

I like 68. You do me and I'll owe you one.

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davethompson413 t1_j25fsux wrote

You should try 77. Do the math...you get eight more.

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MikeLinPA t1_j25khwh wrote

How about a 71. That's a 69 with 2 fingers up her ass!

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fatpad00 t1_j29qvdy wrote

I like to tell this joke, its best in person:
If the rocker doesn't shock her, then spock her.
If that's still not enough...
THE MINIVAN
(hold up a fist and 2 fingers on the other hand)

2 in the front, 5 in the back

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MikeLinPA t1_j2bh0y9 wrote

Remember, turnabout's fair play! You gotta take what you give. (Ouch...)

1

eyeheartnoods t1_j2603sz wrote

We also do it doggy style. I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.

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slmojica t1_j25b61s wrote

Better than a 6.9 - 69 interrupted by a period.

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PersonaUser55 t1_j26e7o7 wrote

If you aren't willing to part the red sea like Moses himself, you dont deserve her

12

MadMan8181 t1_j26z6xo wrote

Jesus, click for the punchline, stay for the comments lol

36

Kind-Bodybuilder-903 t1_j25k3mi wrote

My wife said tie me up and do whatever you want. So I tied here up and went to the pub.

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Waitsfornoone t1_j26hl2e wrote

My wife proposed a new sex game, in which we would be assigned baseball positions to 'play.'

She was to be the catcher, and I was assigned the same position I played as a kid on a little league team: Left Out.

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Old_Ad7385 t1_j27wd3j wrote

Trying figure out how I could work "bunt" in this comment.

2

CommercialAd8439 t1_j278fvh wrote

In fortunately she wants you to be the front man

5

Bubbly-Wolverine-206 t1_j2643mh wrote

If you'd have said no, she would probably hound you till you change your position on the idea...

3

JasonWithey t1_j26hipx wrote

Nice… keeping it spicy!!!

3

AlbertComan t1_j28i7me wrote

" My wife asked if I'd like to try a new sex position. I replied: together?"

3

[deleted] t1_j27bowd wrote

She pitched a new idea. You caught it.No short stops to think about it. Center field thinking. Covered all the bases. Nothing left out. Right?

2

General_Freed t1_j292dsq wrote

Tried a new Sex Position?

Nailed it!

2