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dje1964 t1_j23mth0 wrote

The book of Leviticus says "if a man lay with another man as he would with his wife, he must be stoned"

That is why California legalized Gay Marriage and possession of marijuana at the same time

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master-virus t1_j23upie wrote

Bro lol.

You owe me a coffee

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Wiki_pedo t1_j24v7t4 wrote

You either knocked over the whole coffee or the serving size was one mouthful.

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morbiiq t1_j272uxl wrote

Or they peed it out before the body could take advantage of all the nutrients :x

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BloodiedBlues t1_j24q2x2 wrote

From what I’ve heard, that was a mistranslation of the Germanic Bible where, when correctly translated, says if man lay with boy as he would with his wife, he must be stoned”

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tarryngray t1_j23vxpq wrote

It actually says “if a man lay with child as he would his wife” but it was changed some time during the 1900s

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dje1964 t1_j23wdxs wrote

I won't argue the point as I am not old enough to have read it back then. But I am down with dropping a big fucking rock on anyone's balls that would do that to a kid

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Lopsided_Sailor t1_j263b1h wrote

A heavy rock would work. But I think a dull knife or really strong laser would be more permanent... or maybe even a spoon.

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Aeosin15 t1_j27eqai wrote

The rustiest, most jagged fucking spoon that can be had. Don't cut it off. TEAR it off.

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quid_facis_cacasne t1_j241wuc wrote

I have a Vulgate from the 18th century which says, Lev. 18:22, "Cum masculo non commiscearis coitu femineo quia abominatio est". This means, "May you not engage in womanly sex with a male, because it is an abomination." No reference of stoning, no reference of a man with his own child.

It doesn't actually seem to be an injunction against homosexuality per se in the Latin, rather against being the passive partner, which was the philosophy of homosexuality for the Greeks as well.

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dje1964 t1_j24g2qr wrote

Wow. I am impressed by all the biblical and legal scholars here in r/jokes

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Fit_Cherry7133 t1_j25589w wrote

Wait, so who were the gay dude's banging then??

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quid_facis_cacasne t1_j2565j0 wrote

I know that's the really weird contradiction about it. The way the Greeks worked around it was to encourage the passive partner to be an adolescent, because it was thought that it would be even more dishonourable for an adult man to be in that position. This is in Foucault's History of Sexuality.

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limeafterlime t1_j23xc5p wrote

Wasn’t Mary a pre teen when she married a middle aged Joseph?

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orangemaroon25 t1_j23zssn wrote

Teen, definitely. I'm not sure about pre-teen.

But keep in mind that pretty much all women/girls were married off pretty much once they were physically fertile in those days. You can't judge it by today's standards.

Additionally my understanding is that Joseph was either already widowed or had never married and his idea was just to take Mary as a "wife" to support her because no one else would and he wasn't even intending to expect any marital relations from her. However I don't remember where I got this idea from so it very easily could have been some revisionist teaching that isn't supported by the actual Church.

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Lopsided_Sailor t1_j263mkc wrote

Probably between 14 and 16. But nobody knows for sure... That was a common age for marriage (for women) at that time.

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mnmason83 t1_j24cbxe wrote

That sounds made up.

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Lonke t1_j24d87u wrote

Well, yeah, that's like all of the bible.

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Lopsided_Sailor t1_j263voe wrote

False. Pretty much everything in the Bible has been verified by archaeology and science. Do some research...

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KnightRho t1_j26b36l wrote

I'd love some guidance on where to look for that. Specifically the walking on water and parting the Red Sea. I have a lake in the middle of my commute that takes almost a half hour to get around. I'd rather just go over or through that bitch

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Aeosin15 t1_j27f07g wrote

Or the part where people are living to be hundreds of years old with zilch for medicine.

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Aeosin15 t1_j27f3v9 wrote

Or the part where one man builds a boat large enough to fit 2 of every animal.

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Lonke t1_j28tvgz wrote

Imagine the price of wine if the word about this got out!

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Lonke t1_j28ry8u wrote

Best joke in this entire thread.

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OverallManagement824 t1_j24vlvv wrote

I'd like a credible source for this because, while I'm not at all religious, I will repeat this fact every chance I get. But I need to know it's true.

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Lopsided_Sailor t1_j264ad0 wrote

My understanding is that it's based on archeological research and discovered written documents showing the general age of married woman at the time. I am sure that nothing in the Bible referenced her age (or that of any other woman at marriage).

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DodgerWalker t1_j24b1zu wrote

That was Washington in 2012. California didn’t vote to legalize weed until 2016, which was more than a year after the SCOTUS legalized same sex marriage for the entire country.

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dje1964 t1_j24fe0a wrote

I was being silly. But thank you for clarification

Heaven forbid there be inaccuracies in the timeline of a joke

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master-virus t1_j25lvzu wrote

I loved the joke.

We take things too serious.

Thanks for the joke.

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dje1964 t1_j25v2ia wrote

I heard it, retold it (poorly) and if I had any idea of where I heard it originally I would have given them credit. Only that person may correct my errors

"The statement above was for satirical purposes only"

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master-virus t1_j25w0nn wrote

Sometimes you have to take deep breaths and smile 😁

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1TenDesigns t1_j24ugbz wrote

The problem with that belief, is the current public education system is so bad most of todays kids get the majority of their education from jokes and memes.

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violetbaudelairegt t1_j243asp wrote

You took the same concept about a pun on stoning and sex and made it way funnier and way less offensive lol

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dje1964 t1_j24gj4y wrote

Actually, I simply plagiarized a joke I heard somewhere else without giving credit to the source, since I don't even remember where I heard it in the first place

Edit. Grammer

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FrankWhiteIsHere78 t1_j257w4w wrote

Edit: Grammar. LoL

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dje1964 t1_j25u9vd wrote

You should have seen it before I fixed it

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CaptnBluehat t1_j24hq56 wrote

Funny joke and all, but it actually says BOY, not 2nd man.

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