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8urfiat t1_j0jhzco wrote

They all skipped out and left the bill for Judas.

"Where am I going to get 30 pieces of silver"

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JJohnston015 t1_j0jpoaz wrote

Fun fact: the original version got mistranslated. It wasn't "walked on water", it was "walked on waiter".

165

Velvet_Pop t1_j0kfm3n wrote

"...Wait a second, he took all our fish too!"

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ReasonableArgument65 t1_j0kp4rb wrote

If Jesus could make wine out of water maybe he was walking on wine so he was just drunk going home...

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tigellebotongum90 t1_j0mxs37 wrote

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job.

So each one goes into the woods, finds a bear, and attempts to convert it.Later, they all get together. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his first Communion.”

“I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy Word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.”

They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast.
“Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision.”

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HelixViewer t1_j0k1o0r wrote

He was the treasurer. He had all the money.

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BigBradWolf07 t1_j0l59fh wrote

I wonder where he could've gotten exactly 30 pieces of silver..?

4