Rough landing

Submitted by Protowhale t3_zofklv in Jokes

After a particularly rough, bumpy landing, a pilot made the usual announcement to passengers as they taxied to the terminal, then forgot to turn the mike off. The entire plane heard him say, "After a landing like that I really need a hot coffee and a blow job." As a female flight attendant raced up toward the cockpit to warn them about the mike, a passenger said, "Don't forget the coffee."

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tigellebotongum90 t1_j0n8nb2 wrote

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA
to NY.
The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game?
The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls
over to the window to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.

He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer,
you pay me $5.00, and vice versa.
" Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you
pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end
to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question.
"What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00
bill and hands it to the lawyer.
"Okay" says the lawyer, "your turn."
She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down
with four legs?"
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his
references, no answer.
He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the
library of congress, no answer.
Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no
avail.
After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00.
The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks,
"Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer
$5.00, and goes back to sleep.
And you thought blondes were dumb.

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