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heremarshal659 t1_j206v7m wrote

Ha! ‟Big pause,” how embearrassing. If I were there, I would bearly be able to keep myself from blushing. I guess that’s because I’ve got a moral bearometer. To make the poor creature feel better, I’d probably give him some bearries, a cucumbear, maybe a root bear float too. Of course, if it’s decembear, he might get too cold from the ice cream and attack me. Then I’d have to remembear how to scare the beast away (I sure do not want to get dismembeared.) I’d probably say something intimidating like, ‟I’m a lumbearjack, and I ride cheetahs bearback.” Of course, if he can not speak English, I’d probably say something like, ‟Me llamo Albearto,” at which point he’d shout ‟Allahu Ackbear” and swallow me whole.

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karal06 t1_j2083b5 wrote

A pony walks into the bar and whispers, ‟I will have a beer, please.” The barkeeper asks, ‟Why are you whispering?”.

‟I am a little hoarse.”

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GeneOtheGreen t1_j20d3mh wrote

Drunk yells to the bartender, Your mom is GREAT in bed! Bartender gets annoyed look and tells drunk, Shut up Dad....

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Gorf_the_Magnificent t1_j213xhx wrote

Bear walks into a bar and says, “I’ll have a ……….. beer please.”

The bartender says, “Why the big pause?”

The bear replies, “I have a speech impediment, you insensitive fuck.”

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JurGijsSep t1_j207o8e wrote

Guy on the barstool next to the bear says, ‟HOLY SHIT A TALKIN BEAR!

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ikilledsupermario t1_j206tq6 wrote

A horse walks into a bar, bartender says, "Why the long face?"

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TommyBoy825 t1_j21xeqt wrote

The horse replies, "It's my wife. She's such a nag."

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Crazy_Activity1948 t1_j21wxt0 wrote

Cheetah Walks into a bar and says, I’ve just won the tournament…

Horse in the back who was there says,

Yeah well this might sound a little hoarse but… you’re a cheater! “Cough cough”

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zorglatch t1_j22ntg5 wrote

Must have been a Cola Bear

1