Submitted by Arkvoodle42 t3_zw191o in Jokes
pokey1984 t1_j1sj7zg wrote
I'll have you know that I was not born screaming.
I was born with the umbilical wrapped around my neck and I wasn't breathing. Mom had to talk my dad through untangling me and breathing for me to get me started.
So, you know, suck on that or whatever.
GomerStuckInIowa t1_j1sk22h wrote
So you were born in the state of panic?
pokey1984 t1_j1skh6j wrote
Well, my dad was panicking, that's for sure. My sisters though Mom and Dad were torturing the cat in their bedroom.
uberboogerhead t1_j1tkknl wrote
State of duress…
Specific_Tap7296 t1_j1tmvtq wrote
Do you guys not have midwives and hospitals?
pokey1984 t1_j1tpzto wrote
This was in 1984 in a very rural area. Hospital is a 30 minute drive, minimum. I was Mom's third kid and she ignored signs of impending birth for too long. So she was home, asleep, at 2 in the morning when her water broke. She woke up in a wet bed and thirty minutes later there was a baby. Happens more often than you'd think.
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