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Sad-GrapefruitC-132 t1_j5v8mj4 wrote

My wife accused me of stealing her thesaurus.

Not only was I shocked, but I was appalled, aghast, and dismayed.

92

Frosti-Feet t1_j5ww6ga wrote

Someone stole my thesaurus today. Not only was I angry, I was angry and angry!

34

thealarmist t1_j5xtqqd wrote

I asked my horse if they had stolen my thesaurus, Nope, they said

8

fourlegged t1_j5v071y wrote

I hope they got a good story out of it

21

Low-Airline-7588 OP t1_j5v0gk9 wrote

I hope they bag the guy who did it and book them.

(Edited!)

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fourlegged t1_j5v76rw wrote

Have some sympathy for the recently unemployed. He just got the sack.

7

AlmiPopp t1_j5wml4w wrote

I feel like it should begin with "someone stole my dictionary today"

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AdReady1809 t1_j5ysiht wrote

The weight on the thiefs shoulders ....

5

bfs102 t1_j5uzrwo wrote

This isn't even funny

2

missdui t1_j5v5b5f wrote

Yeah I think it's supposed to be that his dictionary or thesaurus got stolen...

7

[deleted] t1_j5vlrxu wrote

A heckler on a SM thread, that’s funny.

2

Dickcheese-a1 t1_j5wcl8e wrote

Gary Delaney joke used on Mock the Week.

2

zepharoz t1_j5x3thl wrote

Did they book the guy?

2

manualshifting t1_j623vaw wrote

What's a synonym for "thesaurus"?

The big brained answer- onomasticon.

2

Waitsfornoone t1_j5vn4au wrote

Check your phone - there are plenty of words in there.

1

Low-Airline-7588 OP t1_j5wbtet wrote

When they bagged the guy, he had nothing to say anymore.

1