A woman goes to the doctor

Submitted by Nl_003 t3_10njfpa in Jokes

With an massive stomach ache.

"Ok", says the doctor, "please lie down on your back let me examine you". He proceeds to push her stomach with both hands and "BRAAAAB" she lets out a huge fart.

"Could you roll to the side" and she does as requested. The doctor presses down again and indeed, another "BRAAAB".

The doctor then leaves the room and comes back with a stick with a hook at one end.

The woman jumps up in panic and screams: "what the hell do you think you are doing?!"

"Relax", says the doctor, "I'm going to open a window."

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Waitsfornoone t1_j6981hk wrote

If we're doing doctor's office jokes:

A woman goes to the doctor and says: “Doctor, my husband is an animal in the bedroom. He wants sex five, six, seven times a day. I love the man and the sex, but it’s just too much. Can you help me?”
The doctor replied, “Well, medically, I can’t really think of anything. Theoretically, this might work. From now on, whenever he demands sex, demand money. $10 in the kitchen, $30 in the living room, $50 in the bedroom. The man isn’t made of money, that should slow him down.”
She agrees and thanks the doctor. Excited, she goes home ready to use his advice.
She starts to prepare dinner. Her husband comes home, doesn’t even ask about dinner, but immediately sneaks up behind her, brushes up against her and plays grab ass. She turns to him and says. “Honey, I have a new rule regarding sex.”

He replies, “Okay hon, shoot!” She continues, “From now on, I demand money for sex. $10 in the kitchen, $30 in the living room, $50 in the bedroom.”
He looks at her and says, “Okay, I think you deserve that, you do so much, no problem.”
He reaches for his wallet and sees he has a $50 bill in his wallet and hands it to his wife. She says, “Okay let’s go up to the bedroom.”
He shouts, “NO, FIVE TIMES IN THE KITCHEN!!!”

Not OC. https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/sa5qdp/a_woman_goes_to_the_doctor_and_says/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

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CrazyOkie t1_j6a0a1d wrote

The real joke is always in the comments

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unripenedboyparts t1_j6hjv2z wrote

But...the post is about farting and opening a window. These are quite unrelated.

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SphericalBitch2020 t1_j6bkuy0 wrote

Another doctor, doctor joke....

A man goes into doctors surgery with a frog sitting on his forehead.

What can I do for you, sir? asks the doctor.

A week ago, I got a pimple on my bum and now see what it has grown into, said the frog.

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EarRubs t1_j6agnyw wrote

Farts go BRAAAB??

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OftenBullish t1_j6cino2 wrote

This remind me of playing Diablo 2 and wondering why people tell when they burp by saying brb (be right back)

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ennoSaL t1_j6bgphl wrote

This woman clearly has a medical condition!

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super-me-5000 t1_j6922wv wrote

Just when I needed some comic relief, very funny!

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ozthegweat t1_j6adz0n wrote

I don't get it. Why doesn't he just open a window with his hands, but instead leaves and gets the hook stick?

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secretprocess t1_j6aia5b wrote

Sometimes industrial/office windows are very high up and you use a special stick to open them. Also he had to reach really far to make the joke work.

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Hurtkopain t1_j6d4tcp wrote

doc: "relax, i'm not a BRAAABarian"

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Snoo-80415 t1_j6c98z4 wrote

I don't get it

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No-Cress-5457 t1_j6cb0hr wrote

Patient thinks doctor is going to do some wild surgical shit with a hooked stick. Joke is, doctor just using it to open the window high above their heads

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murphanduncas t1_j6brxt5 wrote

Nothing funnier than a fart.

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SpareMind t1_j6h46ey wrote

Finding you pooped while farting is more funnier. Of course, for other. Especially when in you are in queue.

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scifielder t1_j6dn0p5 wrote

A woman goes to the doctor. She tells him, "Doctor, I have a very serious problem."

"What is it?" he asks.

She answers, "Every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm."

The doctor asks, "What have you been doing about it?"

She replies, "I've been in the kitchen, snorting pepper."

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SpareMind t1_j6h53rk wrote

Told to me by a doctor friend:

Patient walked in with stool sample he was asked to bring. Full size horlicks bottle, about 1 kg.

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