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MisterBowTies t1_j620tzy wrote

Never turned on when I want it?

159

KimKardashiansBigASS t1_j63jufw wrote

That’s also called marriage

39

BuckTravers t1_j65bxth wrote

I’m a 4 time loser. Why am I attracted to drunks and weirdos? Well, I’ve learned now…

3

umidontremember t1_j627psn wrote

300 lbs and made of stainless steel.

105

sammyno55 t1_j64qt12 wrote

300 pounds and cold and wet on the inside.

27

pyrrhic_orgasm t1_j64emmt wrote

A lady that fine you gotta romance first.

16

Proper_Shock_7317 t1_j65jobz wrote

/unexpectedfuturama

6

DocRogue2407 t1_j65k34g wrote

300lbs? Death by SNU-SNU 😏🤣🤣🤣

5

jamosef t1_j60w5i1 wrote

Only works weekends

35

Chronotaru t1_j62sw08 wrote

Seeing the repair man often on the side.

21

humperty t1_j610i7a wrote

Splattered with cream?

19

muchmusic t1_j60x28j wrote

Unavailable in most locations?

18

MadAdam88 t1_j634g9g wrote

White and brown stuff dripping from her holes?

17

One-Butterscotch6076 t1_j63a1k8 wrote

An elderly lady goes to see the doctor. "Doctor," she asks, "my husband has not made love to me for years. Can you suggest anything ?" The doctor suggests some tablets. "My husband refuses to take tablets." She replies sadly. "Well," the doctor tells her ", perhaps you could put them in his coffee?".

Two days later, the lady is back "Oh, doctor, those tablets are amazing. I put them in his coffee as you suggested, and he went wild, swept everything off the table and made passionate love to me!" The doctor smiles and says how pleased he is to have helped. After a short pause, the lady says, "it did give the customers in McDonald's a shock!"

17

yeah-whateva t1_j640hz7 wrote

Story time:

So I'm standing in a wet puddle of mop water when I go to unplug the ice cream machine. I felt a jolt.

I was shocked.

5

Ferg_NZ t1_j60lto7 wrote

Out of order?

12

dad831 t1_j60zhil wrote

Not working?

10

Cosmo1222 t1_j61aqrv wrote

Cool, fattening and plugged in to the mains?

5

maggieufledu t1_j63dp4k wrote

Turned on in the morning, so she will work at night!!!

3

NaturalOk9086 t1_j63q4vx wrote

Punched until it’s working again

3

Subby-Switch t1_j64i4o0 wrote

Always going down when I come by

3

zepharoz t1_j61bpe8 wrote

Crawling with cockroaches?

2

DayOdd8171 t1_j62g7sj wrote

Wouldn't it be "Sloppy, sticky, and never works" ?

2

Moonrajah t1_j62gu4y wrote

Dripping?

2

maggieufledu t1_j63dkag wrote

As a womens health care provider, this is why we can’t have nice things.

5

RoLaAus t1_j6239tl wrote

Frozen and squeezed thru a small tube?

1

Mare-Insularum t1_j638umu wrote

Broken inside and incapable of loving me back?

1

Puzzleheaded-Ad-5511 t1_j639007 wrote

And only cleaned once a week

1

BuckTravers t1_j65crij wrote

Er, it’s monthly now. Our last machine cleaner got pulled through the drive-up window and was never seen again.

1

bunganga t1_j639cuk wrote

Drips cream even when you don't touch?

1

GingersaurusRex t1_j63uy44 wrote

Never cleaned properly by constantly short staffed and under payed employees and always full of mold on the inside

1

sam_the_beagle t1_j6468s7 wrote

Expensive to buy, operate, and maintain. Rarely works, always needs cleaning, and never puts out when I want it to.

And it's discouraged to find a third party for service.

1

NotoriousREV t1_j649ng5 wrote

Hard to clean and with a risk of food poisoning?

1

Negative-Ad-6533 t1_j64dk95 wrote

Not me a pimp can't have ho's that's always out of service and broke.

1

donbenot t1_j64dqw9 wrote

Rarely puts out?

1

Chello90 t1_j64ugys wrote

No good error feedback?

1

balaringenboru t1_j64x188 wrote

Sir, can you stop licking the ice cream machine please.

1

Impressive-Dinner-22 t1_j652azo wrote

Why was I instantly thinking, "Sorry it's out of order right now."

1

timeflux123 t1_j6568mf wrote

Broke, never available, and filled with cream?

1

dvusthrls t1_j660kqc wrote

Waiting to be serviced

1