Submitted by multiplyclub t3_10m2qf3 in Jokes
Sweet, cold and a little broken inside.
Comments
Buddy2269 t1_j60pivm wrote
F.
Alive-Neighborhood-3 t1_j60tgxg wrote
Thought you was gonna say broken, would of been dark 😅
jamosef t1_j60w5i1 wrote
Only works weekends
muchmusic t1_j60x28j wrote
Unavailable in most locations?
dad831 t1_j60zhil wrote
Not working?
humperty t1_j610i7a wrote
Splattered with cream?
refreshing_username t1_j612z55 wrote
Used by pimply teenagers, but only when she's working?
No-Introduction5786 t1_j614ixk wrote
Broken.
Cosmo1222 t1_j61aqrv wrote
Cool, fattening and plugged in to the mains?
[deleted] t1_j61bgs1 wrote
[deleted]
zepharoz t1_j61bpe8 wrote
Crawling with cockroaches?
EarRubs t1_j61ejcn wrote
Botulism
HopeFox t1_j6205dc wrote
Going down on me every night?
MisterBowTies t1_j620tzy wrote
Never turned on when I want it?
RoLaAus t1_j6239tl wrote
Frozen and squeezed thru a small tube?
BrunoAndRoyal t1_j625b5e wrote
A little??
maggieufledu t1_j62692a wrote
Unpredictable?
umidontremember t1_j627psn wrote
300 lbs and made of stainless steel.
Cold_Table8497 t1_j629059 wrote
A bit crusty around the pipes.
DayOdd8171 t1_j62g7sj wrote
Wouldn't it be "Sloppy, sticky, and never works" ?
Moonrajah t1_j62gu4y wrote
Dripping?
General_Freed t1_j62py69 wrote
Touched and turned on by every employee?
Chronotaru t1_j62sw08 wrote
Seeing the repair man often on the side.
thomask1989 t1_j62y07l wrote
Easily destroyed
anomaly242488 t1_j62yf12 wrote
Never turned on?
Sunkinthesand t1_j630adx wrote
And off and on again
AbsolutePerfectien t1_j6325rq wrote
Never putting out?
Difficult-Contest-83 t1_j632swf wrote
Awesome stuff
Blackybro_ t1_j633fj5 wrote
anally_ExpressUrself t1_j634dgk wrote
She says she's working but whenever you go visit her work SHES NEVER WORKING
MadAdam88 t1_j634g9g wrote
White and brown stuff dripping from her holes?
Laborate t1_j63501h wrote
So underrated
DoughnutNo7496 t1_j636q7u wrote
Broke
Mare-Insularum t1_j638umu wrote
Broken inside and incapable of loving me back?
Puzzleheaded-Ad-5511 t1_j639007 wrote
And only cleaned once a week
FlatHistorian8222 t1_j6395os wrote
Real gem right there
bunganga t1_j639cuk wrote
Drips cream even when you don't touch?
One-Butterscotch6076 t1_j63a1k8 wrote
An elderly lady goes to see the doctor. "Doctor," she asks, "my husband has not made love to me for years. Can you suggest anything ?" The doctor suggests some tablets. "My husband refuses to take tablets." She replies sadly. "Well," the doctor tells her ", perhaps you could put them in his coffee?".
Two days later, the lady is back "Oh, doctor, those tablets are amazing. I put them in his coffee as you suggested, and he went wild, swept everything off the table and made passionate love to me!" The doctor smiles and says how pleased he is to have helped. After a short pause, the lady says, "it did give the customers in McDonald's a shock!"
Super_Revolution2837 t1_j63cfad wrote
Just like you are
Super_Revolution2837 t1_j63chmf wrote
COLD AF
Super_Revolution2837 t1_j63covx wrote
And you have to pay for it too . Same thing happened when I tried it .
Beherenow666 t1_j63csmf wrote
Filled with cream?!
maggieufledu t1_j63da64 wrote
Definitely. I wish, less so!!!
maggieufledu t1_j63dkag wrote
As a womens health care provider, this is why we can’t have nice things.
maggieufledu t1_j63dlj2 wrote
maggieufledu t1_j63dp4k wrote
Turned on in the morning, so she will work at night!!!
og-lollercopter t1_j63dzo1 wrote
Cold, sloppy, wet, and broken?
GodFucker31 t1_j63egyd wrote
Filled with cream?
KimKardashiansBigASS t1_j63jufw wrote
That’s also called marriage
NaturalOk9086 t1_j63q4vx wrote
Punched until it’s working again
GingersaurusRex t1_j63uy44 wrote
Never cleaned properly by constantly short staffed and under payed employees and always full of mold on the inside
[deleted] t1_j63z4d7 wrote
[removed]
yeah-whateva t1_j64033x wrote
O.k thanks. Now I spit coffee out of my nose.
bfjt4yt877rjrh4yry t1_j64056v wrote
Dirty?
yeah-whateva t1_j640hz7 wrote
Story time:
So I'm standing in a wet puddle of mop water when I go to unplug the ice cream machine. I felt a jolt.
I was shocked.
babar335 t1_j641hwp wrote
Gross lol
sam_the_beagle t1_j6468s7 wrote
Expensive to buy, operate, and maintain. Rarely works, always needs cleaning, and never puts out when I want it to.
And it's discouraged to find a third party for service.
Formal_Mundane t1_j64866q wrote
Not working?
Familiar-Point6952 t1_j6488xa wrote
Especially in the southern regions, where it's typically hot and humid
NotoriousREV t1_j649ng5 wrote
Hard to clean and with a risk of food poisoning?
LosPadres-R2-D2 t1_j64dawa wrote
You sir have earned my undying respect
Negative-Ad-6533 t1_j64dk95 wrote
Not me a pimp can't have ho's that's always out of service and broke.
donbenot t1_j64dqw9 wrote
Rarely puts out?
pyrrhic_orgasm t1_j64emmt wrote
A lady that fine you gotta romance first.
UsaPitManager t1_j64eo0x wrote
And we have a winner
UsaPitManager t1_j64exi0 wrote
Take an upvote
Valuable-Lab-7534 t1_j64fdw4 wrote
Down?
Subby-Switch t1_j64i4o0 wrote
Always going down when I come by
AssignmentPlayful492 t1_j64jv0x wrote
I like my women like I like my whiskey…18 years old and mixed up w coke
profknowsnothing828 t1_j64kd0f wrote
irishtim1393 t1_j64kz8t wrote
Disabled?
[deleted] t1_j64ld3s wrote
[removed]
Gus_Harrington t1_j64ncgw wrote
200lbs and mixed vanilla & chocolate?
sammyno55 t1_j64qt12 wrote
300 pounds and cold and wet on the inside.
Cowboy_Reaper t1_j64qxgh wrote
Chello90 t1_j64ugys wrote
No good error feedback?
balaringenboru t1_j64x188 wrote
Sir, can you stop licking the ice cream machine please.
Riffton t1_j64x8us wrote
Class, absolute class😂!
Impressive-Dinner-22 t1_j652azo wrote
Why was I instantly thinking, "Sorry it's out of order right now."
timeflux123 t1_j6568mf wrote
Broke, never available, and filled with cream?
TypicalCherry1529 t1_j657wlo wrote
Your parents should ground you
BuckTravers t1_j65bxth wrote
I’m a 4 time loser. Why am I attracted to drunks and weirdos? Well, I’ve learned now…
BuckTravers t1_j65crij wrote
Er, it’s monthly now. Our last machine cleaner got pulled through the drive-up window and was never seen again.
BrilliantObserver t1_j65h7wf wrote
Dark.
Proper_Shock_7317 t1_j65jobz wrote
/unexpectedfuturama
DocRogue2407 t1_j65k34g wrote
300lbs? Death by SNU-SNU 😏🤣🤣🤣
bacchusku2 t1_j65v0m5 wrote
Bite my shiny metal ass
Proper_Shock_7317 t1_j65x0vb wrote
Then it would be a true SQUISHY machine!
dvusthrls t1_j660kqc wrote
Waiting to be serviced
yeah-whateva t1_j66r3vn wrote
I am CURRENTLY grounded
TypicalCherry1529 t1_j67138j wrote
No more ACDC for you
posifour11 t1_j67bbcc wrote
Sounds like a bigger problem than botulism.
EditorResponsible436 t1_j67dh42 wrote
Constantly going down on me
solidsmithers t1_j67mye9 wrote
Hahahaahahahahaha Thank you, come again!
Proper_Shock_7317 t1_j68xyzi wrote
Finally someone recognizes the Simpsons reference! Cheers!
EmveePhotography t1_j6c81yj wrote
300 pounds, noisy and full of 'cream'?
[deleted] t1_j6clvfs wrote
[deleted]
Ferg_NZ t1_j60lto7 wrote
Out of order?