A man goes to a doctor ..

Submitted by Nervous_Cranberry196 t3_10p1o0w in Jokes

To see about getting his penis enlarged. The doctor says “yes we can do that - there’s a new operation these days. We take the trunk of a baby elephant and graft it into your penis.”

So the man excitedly agrees and gets the operation. Six weeks later after it’s all healed he goes on a date with a woman. While sitting in the restaurant, suddenly his dick reaches up from under the table, grabs a bread roll, and disappears under the table with it.

The man has a mortified look in his face but his date was visibly impressed. “That’s amazing!” She says. Can you do that again?!

“We’ll I’d love to, but I don’t think I can fit another bread roll up my ass…”

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Comments

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CaptRackham t1_j6i7zv9 wrote

My father loved telling this joke, usually at dinner. Then later on making a muffled elephant noise.

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DigNitty t1_j6k7b4b wrote

At my last office we wore scrubs and changed into them when we got there. Some people weren’t great about knocking before entering the curtained off changing area, one woman in particular. They had some close calls and, frankly, if it had been a dude walking in on women it would have been handled more severely. But nobody ever saw anything. Until

My coworker brought a sausage thing with him once and waited in there. Thing was like 8 inches long. Sure enough, woman coworker threw open the curtain without checking and he turned around real quick while holding the big sausage thing.

“Jesus Nicole will you KNOCK?!?!”

Anyway, his whole ploy worked because she did start knocking more. And, eventually, one of my other coworkers told me in confidence “did you know Nicole walked in on Matt? Apparently, you wouldn’t think it, but he is Hung.”

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Jimbodoomface t1_j6l6yd7 wrote

What qualities does Matt have that makes him seem like he wouldn't be hung i wonder.

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passivearl t1_j6liaar wrote

He must be Asian, like me. Nobody ever assumes I'm hung, and I'm not.

I actually came to this thread to say the Matt joke is not related to OP's at all, but what a great story nonetheless

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IslayTzash t1_j6lpn70 wrote

It was a capital H in the story … maybe descended from the Hung dynasty.

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Bipedal_Warlock t1_j6lso06 wrote

Kind of fucked up she walked in on him. Saw his “dick” then told others about what it looked like.

She totally wanted to see something

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TooShiftyForYou t1_j6isp8v wrote

I ordered a DIY penis enlargement kit online last year.

Something went wrong with the shipping though and all I got was a magnifying glass.

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amerkanische_Frosch t1_j6ivfwk wrote

Fellow goes to the doctor.

« Doc, I can barely breathe after walking only a few steps. And I even have trouble getting up after sitting down. »

Doctor replies, matter-of-factly, « I’m not surprised. You are grossly obese. You need to go on a diet. »

Fellow is outraged : « How DARE you ‘fat shame’ me. I INSIST on a second opinion! »

Doc replies: « OK, you’re ugly, too. »

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lokoston t1_j6hvkgh wrote

Very unexpected punch line. Funny.

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siro300104 t1_j6kk8ni wrote

Oh my god, I’ve only ever heard the punchline without context!!

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TheRitalinCommando t1_j6lbotq wrote

I laughed out loud and then told my parents who happened to be nearby. We all had a great laugh. Take my upvote and if I could give you more, I would. That made my evening.

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Nervous_Cranberry196 OP t1_j6lbu04 wrote

That’s awesome - glad you guys enjoyed it. I’ve known this joke for years and only today realized I should post it here

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devil89_3 t1_j6mntn4 wrote

Lol same exact thing happened with us too. We are travelling by car and I burst out laughing like a maniac.

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HooperNate t1_j6jjsuv wrote

Why’s he putting it in his ass? I just want to make sure I am understanding that part. Funny l lol

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thatfrenchredhead t1_j6jkx30 wrote

That's the baby elephant eating

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HooperNate t1_j6jttxv wrote

Lol funny

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Mustang-Mind888 t1_j6k6bjx wrote

Sorry, still don't get it. Why is the baby elephant in the ass?

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temilol12 t1_j6k7fik wrote

The baby elephant trunk is now his penis so it believes his ass hole is it’s mouth

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LightningGoats t1_j6k9q05 wrote

The trunk is acting on elephant instinct, and right below their trunk is where they shovel their food in their mouth. Now this dudes asshole is in the same location.

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devtrek t1_j6klvp8 wrote

Sounds like he's one sixth of the way to becoming Centauri.

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Obito_07_ t1_j6lqmwa wrote

Bro can eat with two mouths

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1ReallybigTank t1_j6lun7z wrote

I was feeling so heart broken today and this joke made me feel better lmao

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AB1186 t1_j6m8ph1 wrote

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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SKY_1996 t1_j6mfb05 wrote

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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mcewanc2 t1_j6okv9g wrote

A man goes to a doctor…

That’s pretty funny in itself

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Waitsfornoone t1_j6j21r7 wrote

OK, wasn't sure where the first roll went .. got it now!

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gangawalla t1_j6l2mb5 wrote

You gotta have him do it two or three times to feel the punchline pain lol

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