Submitted by Nervous_Cranberry196 t3_10p1o0w in Jokes

To see about getting his penis enlarged. The doctor says “yes we can do that - there’s a new operation these days. We take the trunk of a baby elephant and graft it into your penis.”

So the man excitedly agrees and gets the operation. Six weeks later after it’s all healed he goes on a date with a woman. While sitting in the restaurant, suddenly his dick reaches up from under the table, grabs a bread roll, and disappears under the table with it.

The man has a mortified look in his face but his date was visibly impressed. “That’s amazing!” She says. Can you do that again?!

“We’ll I’d love to, but I don’t think I can fit another bread roll up my ass…”

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Comments

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lokoston t1_j6hvkgh wrote

Very unexpected punch line. Funny.

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CaptRackham t1_j6i7zv9 wrote

My father loved telling this joke, usually at dinner. Then later on making a muffled elephant noise.

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TooShiftyForYou t1_j6isp8v wrote

I ordered a DIY penis enlargement kit online last year.

Something went wrong with the shipping though and all I got was a magnifying glass.

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amerkanische_Frosch t1_j6ivfwk wrote

Fellow goes to the doctor.

« Doc, I can barely breathe after walking only a few steps. And I even have trouble getting up after sitting down. »

Doctor replies, matter-of-factly, « I’m not surprised. You are grossly obese. You need to go on a diet. »

Fellow is outraged : « How DARE you ‘fat shame’ me. I INSIST on a second opinion! »

Doc replies: « OK, you’re ugly, too. »

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Waitsfornoone t1_j6j21r7 wrote

OK, wasn't sure where the first roll went .. got it now!

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HooperNate t1_j6jjsuv wrote

Why’s he putting it in his ass? I just want to make sure I am understanding that part. Funny l lol

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DigNitty t1_j6k7b4b wrote

At my last office we wore scrubs and changed into them when we got there. Some people weren’t great about knocking before entering the curtained off changing area, one woman in particular. They had some close calls and, frankly, if it had been a dude walking in on women it would have been handled more severely. But nobody ever saw anything. Until

My coworker brought a sausage thing with him once and waited in there. Thing was like 8 inches long. Sure enough, woman coworker threw open the curtain without checking and he turned around real quick while holding the big sausage thing.

“Jesus Nicole will you KNOCK?!?!”

Anyway, his whole ploy worked because she did start knocking more. And, eventually, one of my other coworkers told me in confidence “did you know Nicole walked in on Matt? Apparently, you wouldn’t think it, but he is Hung.”

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devtrek t1_j6klvp8 wrote

Sounds like he's one sixth of the way to becoming Centauri.

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gangawalla t1_j6l2mb5 wrote

You gotta have him do it two or three times to feel the punchline pain lol

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TheRitalinCommando t1_j6lbotq wrote

I laughed out loud and then told my parents who happened to be nearby. We all had a great laugh. Take my upvote and if I could give you more, I would. That made my evening.

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1ReallybigTank t1_j6lun7z wrote

I was feeling so heart broken today and this joke made me feel better lmao

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AB1186 t1_j6m8ph1 wrote

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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mcewanc2 t1_j6okv9g wrote

A man goes to a doctor…

That’s pretty funny in itself

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