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ManElectro t1_j60ijlv wrote

I asked my mom, sister, aunt, and grandma why incest is so common in Alabama, but they didn't know. I should probably ask more than one person though.

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DeadwoodNative t1_j61iq47 wrote

Know what a tornado and an Alabama divorce have in common? Someone’s gonna lose a mobile home.

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DirtyErn24 t1_j61uovp wrote

It's sort of like "relative humidity."

That's the sweat rolling down your back while your screwing your cousin.

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douchebaghere t1_j61w2og wrote

Right, have some respect sis, why would I like to see your ass when I am doing it

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oldsmoBuick67 t1_j629lg8 wrote

Replying to DeadwoodNative (#1,518,941)

I heard an old joke once that Alabama state law required a trailer park be built just on the edge of a city so the tornado would hit it instead of downtown.

But yeah, chicken houses and trailers are the first things hit in tornadoes it seems.

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S4PG t1_j62b2w5 wrote

Jokes on r/jokes are more reused than the genetic code for an Alabama family

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smurficus103 t1_j62cve9 wrote

Replying to lobo1217 (#1,522,059)

You wouldn't go back in time and fuck your own grandma, would you, morty? You'd be your own grandpa. We'd have to go back and steal you, as a baby, and have you raised by your mom, morty.

But, rick, that's what I've been saying, my grandma is actually my mom that traveled back in time, and gave birth to me

And you fucked her?! What's wrong with you?

I didnt know! But, she did have twins, herself and i

Oh, morty, what the fuck?! You fucked your own grandma mom AND daughter?!

She's my sister too, rick. She's my sister, too...

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fattonydaaxe t1_j62dghu wrote

Why is reverse cowgirl so popular in Alabama?

So they can both watch NASCAR .

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imdfantom t1_j62e4e3 wrote

Replying to lobo1217 (#1,522,059)

Yeah, sister and grandma are in conflict.

Sister implies that your father is your mother's father too.

Grandma implies you mother is your father's mother too.

Schroedinger's parentage I guess.

Edit: we are only talking about genetic relatives here, no legal loopholes please, these don't count as relatives for the purposes of this scenario

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jnelsoni t1_j62kmxp wrote

How do you get an Alabama girl to perform oral sex? Ranch dressing.

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zimzimmawho t1_j62mls5 wrote

Incidentally that’s s also why you can’t do that with Vin Diesel

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SteveisNoob t1_j62t1k4 wrote

But what if i wanna have kids with my stepbro?

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TheCardinalKing t1_j62u2v4 wrote

Replying to lobo1217 (#1,522,059)

It is.

So your father has a daughter with his mother and then has you with his daughter-sister, making your her your mother-sister-aunt. She then marries your grandpa, becoming your grandma now too.

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bl8ant t1_j62vjqo wrote

This joke is older than the union.

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imdfantom t1_j62vnq0 wrote

Replying to Motokorth (#1,524,207)

Eh, not really satisfying tbh.

If you accept this definition of grandmother, the situation could be entirely not incestous.

A man adopts an adult woman, then she adopts him, then they are both adopted by a third person. Then the original two adopt you.

The conditions are satisfied without any incest.

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Bugtotes t1_j62wjmv wrote

If it’s not good enough for the family, how are you going to sell it in the streets as “HOE- Made”.

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ayeshaaaayyy t1_j62zly4 wrote

Camera sets in to find the rock saying 'FaMiLy'

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lobo1217 t1_j6376g8 wrote

Replying to Open_Librarian_823 (#1,525,519)

Dude, I don't disagree with the firing of the actor if he has done a lot of shit. I just wonder how well they explain rick changing voice, because they will explain it, and it needs to make sense. The character will inevitably change.

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k-laz t1_j63hcag wrote

Replying to lobo1217 (#1,522,059)

I think I have it, but its convoluted

Mom has sex with her dad and has kid: mother and sister (same father as sister)

Mom is married to her dad's father: grandmother (wife of dad's father)

Dad had sex with his mother to make mom: aunt (mom is dad's sister - same mother)

Hmm, I see someone beat me to it. Oh, well.

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ErenYeager850 t1_j63pi1p wrote

My sister ,neice and girlfriend thinks this joke was really bad and people should respect Alabama more. Ignore her, she doesn't know what a good joke is

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Xenc t1_j63qv1u wrote

Thanks Uncle Vin

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jeff_bailey t1_j63sak7 wrote

The cows find the position difficult and prefer the man to use a stepladder.

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m1gunr t1_j63trpb wrote

Because you never turn your back on family..

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TheCardinalKing t1_j63um6s wrote

Replying to lobo1217 (#1,525,649)

Hmm... trickier, but still possible.

So your mother makes love to her father and gives birth to a son. She then has a child with her son, which is you.

She is your mother as she directly gave birth to you.

She is your sister for being the sibling to your father, who is also your sibling.

She is your aunt for being your father's sister.

She is your grandmother for being the mother of your father.

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brok3ntok3n82 t1_j641dc7 wrote

There is a fast and furious joke in here somewhere.

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Wespapss t1_j646d4m wrote

The only place bruncles exist...

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5id3w41k t1_j64hyd3 wrote

"Get off me, daddy. You're squishin' my cigarettes."

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General_Freed t1_j64nmtw wrote

"There might be some incest going on here...
My Sister's snatch tastes just like my mother's..."

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amnowhere t1_j64s5n5 wrote

OK but when did turning your back on family become illegal?

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dk19472 t1_j64sa04 wrote

How do you circumcise a guy from Alabama? Kick his sister in the jaw.

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TommyD62 t1_j64tk3k wrote

You can't turn your back on family

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danny_batman t1_j652iwj wrote

What about doggie style. It's the same right?

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OneHumanPeOple t1_j652rxg wrote

Replying to Knives530 (#1,534,404)

Agreed. His humor is about be outlandishly perverted which lands differently now. The one thing we might miss is episodes like interdimensional cable where he’s just drunk in a sound booth making up random shit like Gazorpazorpfield just spewing random insults at John. I imagine an impressionist they hire as a voice actor wouldn’t be expected to create in that way. But that one guy (tik tok fella idk his name) does seem to be able to ad-lib very well and genuinely understand the characters

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HarryHacker42 t1_j653yqp wrote

Incest is best, relatively speaking. Its the only way to keep it in the family.

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lobo1217 t1_j65rvlb wrote

Replying to TheCardinalKing (#1,528,841)

All correct apart from sister. She is NOT your sister. Your father is your "half brother", and I would call your mother and your father also half siblings to each other, but that doesn't make your mother your biological sibling. Your mother would be your sibling-in-law.

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xShankx t1_j66b28v wrote

Cuz it’s illegal for family to turn their back on you?

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TheCardinalKing t1_j66ox54 wrote

Replying to lobo1217 (#1,538,749)

I guess your mom would be your half-sister, but it's the closest I could get if we want her to be your grandma too while keeping blood-relation. I think managing to keep everyone being blood-related is good enough.

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JaggedTheDark t1_j67bjsv wrote

Replying to imdfantom (#1,522,792)

If your father and mother divorce, and then dad marries grandma on mom's side, and then mom marries grandpa on dad's side it's possible.

Genetically impossible, legally it's weird as fuck.

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julz12234 t1_j67hiuy wrote

Because they like to look at their siblings

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ThaGander t1_j6bi0dw wrote

No one else read this in Vin Diesel’s voice?!

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