Man says, “I can’t. Every time I stay out late drinking my wife is furious.

I can’t even sneak in without her knowing. I shut off my car and headlights and coast into the driveway, open the door silently, creep up the stairs quiet as a mouse, take my clothes off in the bathroom and slide into bed and she starts yelling.”

Other man says, “What I do is screech into the driveway and park the car in the lawn, slam the front door as I stomp up the stairs, whip off my clothes and jump into bed while slapping her ass yelling WHO’S HORNY BABY!? and she pretends to be asleep every time.”