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JRychley t1_j6olodt wrote

My brain cumbusted trying to read this


ghengilhar t1_j6pawkc wrote

I tried so hard to read this I needed up smelling burnt toast.


WhollyEntrench t1_j6oloqe wrote

A guy applies for a job at the L.A.P.D

Inspector says ‟These are the best qualifications I’ve ever seen, just one more test before you get the job. Take this gun, go out and shoot six black guys and a rabbit.”

Guy replies ‟Why the rabbit?”

Inspector says ‟Fantastic attitude, you have got the job!”


WaWaSmoothie t1_j6pb5ql wrote

Six black guys, a dog, and a rabbit. Why the rabbit?


Waitsfornoone t1_j6p6oa7 wrote

I thought OP was heading for this old classic:

A man who has just died finds himself standing at the gates of Heaven. To his right he sees an attractive woman, and to his left is a ladder. The woman says, "Come with me through the gate and spend eternity with me, or climb the ladder to success." The man, always eager to get ahead in life, chooses to climb the ladder.
The man finds an even more beautiful woman standing in front of another gate. Next to her is another ladder. The woman says, "Come with me through the gate and all your fantasies will be granted, or climb the ladder to success." This time the man is tempted, but his greed takes over and he climbs the ladder higher.
He again encounters a woman. This woman, however; is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. She says, "come with me and I will satisfy your deepest desires forever, or climb the ladder to success."


The man can't believe his luck. He decides to take his chances and climbs the ladder. He comes to another gate. This time there is no woman waiting for him, but a fat, balding, sweaty man instead.
"Are you God?" the man asks. "No," the sweaty man replies. "I'm Cess."

H/T u/68024


jaw719 t1_j6pbfue wrote

You stole this from Donald Glover didn’t you.


scbiker2 t1_j6pakfs wrote

If at first you don't succeed keep on sucking till you do suck seed.


TheKert t1_j6oo93x wrote

If you swallow the cum before you speak maybe the joke will make sense?


PuffedRabbit OP t1_j6op0e3 wrote

Y'all have sucseeded in notifying me about how shittily I worded this (or how shit my humor is...

Most likely both things)

That ? Shouldn't be there


sliceofthepie13 t1_j6p2y4p wrote

Lol I thought it was a good one 🤷‍♂️


Ok_Scratch4363 t1_j6pcehy wrote

This joke left me with a bad taste in my mouth!


TaroAffectionate9417 t1_j6p9k19 wrote

It’s all good. Lol. I speak 3 languages. And can only tell jokes in one.

I tried once and had a bunch of drunk Germans looking at me like I was drunk. Which I was. But that didn’t help the joke.


tucktight t1_j6pdr5r wrote

I cummand you to take this down!


BattleMedley92 t1_j6pfnjd wrote

All you have to say is you're a romantic


joe102938 t1_j6p1ys4 wrote

Please make better wording.


bluestate1221 t1_j6pjvq6 wrote

Don’t say you suck dick. Sucseed.