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_drimzy t1_j6be97s wrote

The wife takes her mask off, and says Hi wayne, this is dad.

−13

JFKRFKSRVLBJ t1_j6becxg wrote

“You miss 100% of the cum-shots to the face you never take”

Wayne Gretzky

1,464

Waitsfornoone t1_j6bkgjb wrote

What's the difference between Wayne Gretzky and Courtney Love?

Wayne Gretzky showers after three periods.

372

OIL_99 t1_j6bl8bs wrote

This joke might make some Fuhr-ious

54

murphanduncas t1_j6bov62 wrote

Don't nickel and dime the great one. Titfucker.

13

iCatmire t1_j6c8d6z wrote

Your dick is little like Wayne Gretzky

But Gretakys got a big dig: clarification

Everyone was rude to me: Paris vacation

−4

Pay-Homage t1_j6c9o34 wrote

Replying to [deleted] (#1,574,968)

There is a famous hockey player named Mark Messier (pronounced “Messy-eh”), so it’s a play on being “messy, eh” and his last name being Messier to go along with the greatest North American athlete of all time, the Great One - Wayne Gretzky. Who is a famous hockey player, as well.

34

BluePhantom32 t1_j6ccpx6 wrote

This joke could also work for soccer fans. Substitute Ronaldo for Gretzky and have him mistaking his wife for saying, “Messi, eh?”

433

ibleedrosin t1_j6crr9s wrote

Personal story. I can’t stand Wayne Gretzky. I worked at a country club that he was a member of. He would come to play golf and drop his demon kids off at the front door to hang out in the club all day. They would terrorize the staff. They would destroy the bathrooms. They would walk straight in the kitchen while we were busy like it was no big deal. The cooks would joke about “accidentally” burning the shit out of one of them one day. Gretzky sucks.

1

rrazac01 t1_j6ctgmv wrote

You could flip this joke and get it a bit cruder

Mr and Mrs Gretzky had a night out on the town and decided to stay at the 4seasons instead of driving back home that night. The Mrs put on the complimentary silk eye mask and fell asleep but late into the night Mr Gretzky woke and needed some relief. He shook the Mrs who grunted her yes and he proceeds to have his way with her, blowing a huge load across her face and chest when he was done. Proud of his accomplishment, Wayne says to her “Messy eh?”. She responds “No, I knew it was you Wayne, his cum is thicker and smells like poutine.”

−2

gk101991 t1_j6cth00 wrote

I want to laugh at this joke, but can't knowing that Gretzky's wife isn't Canadian (she's from St. Louis, MO).

−1

Hutch25 t1_j6d6p87 wrote

How dare you make such a vile joke about Canadas sell out, betting against his own team, HERO!

2

DropsTheMic t1_j6drsmi wrote

I too watch sportsball and understand this joke.

4

BrockVegas t1_j6e1fm2 wrote

For some reason, I just know that it is time for OP to schedule a colonoscopy...

1

mr_lab_rat t1_j6eb35h wrote

LOL, I thought it was gonna go in the other direction. Looks up and says "yeah, looks just like him"

2

str85 t1_j6eq00q wrote

Replying to sashaaa123 (#1,578,062)

I'm a Swedish person who has zero interest in sports really, i could probably name 20+ NHL players from the 90s and all teams... Reason, those damn hockey cards we all collected. Pokemon wasn't really invented when I was that age but the need to collect cards was strong.

Not sure why I'm sharing this life story btw...

5

Sonabaybeach t1_j6eq0oa wrote

Shouldn’t it be he cums all over HER face, and SHE responds “Messy eh?”

To which he responds “no it’s me Wayne”

−2

SladeWade t1_j6eu3yg wrote

This joke just made my day. You should totally share this with /r/NHL

2

EternityOnDemand t1_j6f58o2 wrote

Replying to Sonabaybeach (#1,592,432)

You're not that good at jokes, are you. Let me get out the crayons for you:

  1. She doesn't mIsTaKe hEr CuM foR bEiNg oN tHe FacE of MarK MesSiEr
  2. She came on Gretzky's face and said "Messy, eh?"
  3. Gretzky is the one that made the mistake of assuming she thought Gretzky was actually Mark Messier going down on her when she said "Messy, eh?"
  4. Hence Gretzky responding saying, 'no, it's me Wayne... [not Messier]'........ 🤦‍♂️
4

MakesMyHeadHurt t1_j6f6rgf wrote

Still better than what happened when Sean Connery asked his wife to sit on his face.

3

JefftheDoggo t1_j6foe60 wrote

This would've worked best with Messier.

−1

mexicanmorman t1_j6fuj87 wrote

A guy gets pulled over by the cops. The cop sees a newspaper from Canada. “ you from Canada?” The cop asks. “ no way! Only 2 things that comes from Canada are whores and hockey players!” “ my wife is from Canada.” Says the cop. “ what team does she play for?”

2

Geoff300 t1_j6golyo wrote

I think Wayne is taking it to her five-hole tonight.

1

AversePoet t1_j6pgfn3 wrote

At least Wayne showered after 3 periods.

1