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bigghimself t1_ja8o2oa wrote

How do they pay for it?

In bills. Ha!

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BloodiedBlues t1_ja96oov wrote

Now I’m imagining some kind of headhunter duck that takes duck bills to pay for their cocaine addiction. Has a bandolier and a cowboy hat with a blind eye accompanied by a scar.

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craigcleve1 t1_ja9joii wrote

A duck goes to the pharmacy and asks to buy rubbers the pharmacist asks would you like me to put them on your bill the duck says I'm not that kind of Duck.

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MyChildIsEvil t1_ja96frs wrote

How do they package the bills?

In webbing.

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Hopefully_moreUnique t1_jaa29t5 wrote

https://imgur.com/vslogM8

This guy's fresh out

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physco219 t1_jaakt13 wrote

That is going to give me nightmares. Thanks, just what I needed. :D

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Nearby_Macaroon6701 t1_jaayyjs wrote

They pay for that with the money they stole from random people at the park ? 😂 F with Ducks and you may loose the wallet 😂

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Nihmen t1_jabsxdn wrote

You mean. Howdoes a Duck snort cocaine? They use bills

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rxricks t1_ja8t2mv wrote

Duck walks into a pharmacy to get some chapstick. He says "Put it on my bill".

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the_almighty_walrus t1_ja9uqvw wrote

A duck walked up to a lemonade stand...

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NarrowProfession2900 t1_jaajgm7 wrote

And he said to the man, runnin’ the stand…

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Figgy20000 t1_jacfa93 wrote

Hey, got any grapes?

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Random_Weird_gal t1_jacsdhm wrote

The man said "no, we just sell lemonade. But it's cold and it's fresh and it's all homemade! Can I get you a glass?"

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herrbdog t1_jab3ovq wrote

he came back later for condoms, the shopkeep asked, "should i put that on your bill?"

"no sir! i'm not that kind of duck!"

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thisishans t1_jac4mwm wrote

An Orc walks into a tavern with a parrot on his shoulder,

The barkeep says, "hey where'd you get that?"

The Parrot says, "durotar, they got 'em all over the place!"

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Ek0mst0p t1_ja94svk wrote

Heron?

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RonsWholesomeAccount t1_ja939k8 wrote

This reminded me of a Weird Al song I haven't thought of since the 90s: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KvgQIBcdRk

edit: I should say that this is a parody of "I Want a New Drug" by Huey Lewis and the News

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Hobbes_87 t1_ja9q5dt wrote

Anything they can snort through a bill.

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iyasareru t1_jaar370 wrote

A duck goes to a love motel in Tokyo. A little while in, he orders room service, some more booze and some toys. Later he phones up the front desk requesting a dozen condoms. The lady behind the front desk obliges and say she’ll put in on his bill. The duck screams “ better not… l’m suffocate!!!!”

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h0nkyJ t1_ja9tuc8 wrote

This sounds like it should be printed on a 5% ABV Popcicle's stick.

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morthos97 t1_ja9uld9 wrote

Hahahhahahaahha this is the first joke I guessed on this sub before I clicked! Proud moment. Although I was thinking quack rock

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GTAdriver01 t1_jaa5rwa wrote

What do ducks eat with their soup?

Quackers

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Yonfire t1_jaat23i wrote

Quacky Tabaci

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wing_ding4 t1_ja8rdxr wrote

We have pet ducks and calm them qwackheads

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MadAdam88 t1_ja8ztlj wrote

Shit'll make you daffy.

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SeredW t1_ja90ps1 wrote

So, the same stuff as Barry Kripke.

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parappadarapp t1_ja94rtg wrote

What is an British guys favorite thing to do?

Crack Croquet.

1

Ron0hh t1_ja9bicg wrote

Duckweed

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irrelevantAF t1_ja9lks3 wrote

I read this in the voice of Barry Kripke from The Big Bang Theory - is that about right?

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sideburns28 t1_ja9ms3j wrote

My girlfriend only hears ‘quack quack’ when listening to ‘Crack Rock’ by Frank Ocean

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Blaziken257 t1_jaa26em wrote

I thought ducks are always on Anetra

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DissociativeSilence t1_jaa3pws wrote

Why did I read that to the tune of What Does The Fox Say

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physco219 t1_jaaklax wrote

Oh, I figured whatever it was they just called it "Duck Sauce" or something.

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DoubleJuggle t1_jaalpbv wrote

I thought they were into downers?

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Ok_Yam_8047 t1_jaasnmq wrote

They smoke that Skooma. The yellow skittles

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CertainlyCTRL t1_jaat5x2 wrote

i thought it was gonna be duckweed 😭

1

BelicoU t1_jaazlhn wrote

Heisenberg crystal blue is my guess

1

Guuhatsu t1_jaaztli wrote

The only factoid I know about ducks is that their favorite snack is cheese and quackers.

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tycr0 t1_jab5csh wrote

The one I gave lsd to def did lsd.

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TheClincher7 t1_jabi3k2 wrote

What drug does a lizard use?

Mariguana

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wholesomechunk t1_jabsa1k wrote

I used to do ducks, I still do, but I used to, too.

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radiogeekau t1_jabxx6u wrote

Goddammit! I laughed at that so hard! Take my damn upvote!!

1

swapra t1_jac0v7p wrote

Quack cocaine, I mean come on people xD!

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Sayoria t1_jac1mj3 wrote

Ploppers

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joe6pak t1_jac3dvv wrote

Duckweed.

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deceze t1_jac964x wrote

But how much drugs would some ducks do do if some ducks could do some drugs?

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Umster t1_jacc4oo wrote

This joke is fowl

1

hometownshame t1_jaceu33 wrote

Whatever the duck wants.

Maybe only iPhone users will get this.

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nemmba t1_jacj8bz wrote

Not Quaaludes??

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gynosii t1_jactqrq wrote

Fuck you lol

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Inevitable_Block6913 t1_jad2b6j wrote

"it appears that you have 'anatataphobia' which is a fear of being watched by ducks, I suggest you go buy many loaves of bread and feed the ducks, feed ALL the ducks, FEED THEM!"

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reidzen t1_jad45kd wrote

Seven words in your joke and you still managed to misspell 'quack'

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cherryhilljawnz t1_jad474s wrote

I thought they make quack and afterwards they get all quacked out

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3dblack t1_jaaa0ir wrote

Quailudes?

0

MoronTheBall t1_jaagtcn wrote

Maybe this explains why Donald Duck never wore pants

0

Ookachucka t1_jaatmq7 wrote

Before I look, Im just gonna guess.

Quack cocaine.

​

knew it. still a good joke

0

DaRush t1_ja9qiqi wrote

Ducks do shit out drugs

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[deleted] t1_ja8ic2d wrote

[deleted]

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Idk1mB0red t1_ja8ions wrote

I find your existence offensive

2