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UppityPotHead t1_j9inhca wrote

Reply to comment by USMCWrangler in Putin: How much of the Russian population want to kill me? by FPSCanarussia

Shoot himself in the head two times, Before throwing himself from a window.

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Akbeardman t1_j9iqk0m wrote

No no, he fell out of the window on accident, down 15 stories onto some bullets.

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EmphasisCheap8611 t1_j9k1tm2 wrote

All the while he was on a healthy diet of polonium!

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EmploymentLate t1_j9mhxom wrote

And of course, all of this are eye witness reports because the body was never found, maybe he just wanted to leave.

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mutantcivil t1_j9nsesm wrote

No no, he fell from 25th floor and shot himself midair 5 times all over his body after making tie knot around his neck and suffocated before felling into the acid tank that was mysteriously there on ground.

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Just--Stuff t1_j9jebls wrote

You must mention how he chugged 2 gallons of cyanide before he did all this

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TexWolf84 t1_j9kgrmv wrote

But he did put a safety rope around his neck before he fell out of the window.

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Clean_Internet t1_j9ktnsg wrote

The safety rope kept him safely hung for a bit, but then snapped and he fell the next 14 stories

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Godzilla-1995 t1_j9novxs wrote

Was this before or after he stabbed himself in the kidney fifty-three times?

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iloveradiohead225 t1_j9kvhjt wrote

THE ADVISOR WAS FUCKING MURDERED!

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cherryhilljawnz t1_j9kxku1 wrote

Nope. If that was the case it would have been reported on

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thebarberbenj t1_j9kn7i0 wrote

In Russia they call that “Natural Causes”. Rasputin died by “misadventure”🤣

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FeedMeMoreOranges t1_j9kibwj wrote

Shoot himself in the back head two times, before throwing himself out the window.

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aardw0lf11 t1_j9kzapi wrote

And before all that he bruised both his wrists and ankles.

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jstormes t1_j9lddn9 wrote

And pulled out all of his own fingernails.

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