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luntik86 t1_j9dwtfy wrote

Old Soviet joke:

  • Man waits in line at butcher for weekly allotment of food
  • After many hours he reaches the front and asks for beef.
  • Comrade we’ve no beef left.
  • He then asks for chicken
  • Comrade we’ve no chicken.
  • He then asks for pork.
  • Comrade we’ve no pork.
  • Exasperated he says: Well if you’ve no beef, pork, or chicken, surely you’ve no fish!
  • Comrade this is a butcher shop. The fish market is across the street. That is where they have no fish.
46

GarbagecanKicks t1_j9dy1zm wrote

"From the corner of the street and I'm not willing to pay more than 250." (Paraphrased Lee Mack joke, adjusted for inflation)

6

uberguysmiley t1_j9f2l16 wrote

Without someone else's dick in it.

4

BawdilyPraise64 t1_j9dxomb wrote

I like my girls like I like my milk.

Rich, white, and 2% fat.

3

murdmart t1_j9e9l8h wrote

They are either rich or 2% fat. Pick one.

−1

Gbody1991 t1_j9e7qwm wrote

Sweet and creamy…

2

Just_Fuck_My_Code_Up t1_j9ed8r1 wrote

A businessman needs to make a trip to an other city by plane. Sitting comfortably in his business class seat he‘s approached by an stunningly beautiful black flight attendant. With a gorgeous smile she asks him „How would you like your coffee, sir?“. With a big grin he responds „I like my coffee just like my women!“. Without missing a beat she replies „Oh no sir, you don‘t have to pay for it, it‘s actually free!“

2

Awengal t1_j9e3b7z wrote

In various different colors and shades..

1

BabylonDrifter t1_j9ed853 wrote

Piping hot and sitting on the counter with my name misspelled on her side.

1

JudgmentalBeef t1_j9epoff wrote

Ground into dust and boiled in water

1