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trucorsair t1_ja9dgpf wrote

Actually the next Russian election is Sunday, 17 March, 2024. Don't a worry, he's already won.


SillyFlyGuy t1_ja9qsuh wrote

Russian elections are on St Patrick's Day?


PiisAWheeL t1_jadmnb2 wrote

You have to be em waisted to accept the results without going to a gulag?


Yautja93 t1_ja9ykss wrote

Damn, that looks like Brazilian elections!


ParkingImportance487 t1_jaa8h3l wrote

Didn’t work for Dilma or Bolsonaro but not without trying


Yautja93 t1_jaai5fu wrote

Well he tried to murder Bolsonaro but failed, first time ever xd

Dilma was driving the country to a hell hole and affected some wealthy people that managed to buy the politicians in the power at the time to Impeach her, basically, imagine everything that was gained in 12 years, destroyed in 4 years because of her bad management


Hickory137 t1_jaaqq8v wrote

And then Brandon told her, "Hold my beer."


K16w32a2r4k8 t1_jab5rlc wrote

Yes, it’s hard to hold a beer while driving in a race. It’s a good thing Biden is president in America now so we don’t have to suffer under Trump’s mis-management anymore.


Monkeyarm0913 t1_jaai0uo wrote

Could have just left it a joke but you’re one of ‘those’ people, sadly


trucorsair t1_jaaizsq wrote

A thirty three day old account with double digit negative karma lecturing me about being “one of those kind of people”….well yes I am happily different from YOU.


Riskycrossbow69 t1_ja9a19p wrote

He received 160% of the vote in favour of becoming Tsar.


Yautja93 t1_ja9yivv wrote

It was actually 140%

But finally someone who knows this meme lmao


BenderDeLorean t1_ja9a20k wrote

This joke was created for you by Rusisan AI chatbot.

Russian AI chatbot is best AI chatbot. Da!


LeodFitz t1_ja9uqjv wrote

Russia does mail-out voting. They mail you your ballot already filled out. No need for you to send it back in, they just want you to know who you voted for.


UndendingGloom t1_jacnye6 wrote

You can edit it and send it back, but you might fall out of a window.


mad_titanz t1_ja9v91n wrote

His political opponents all have committed suicide with 50 gun shot wounds to the head


svn380 t1_jaa1yiw wrote

No, that would only happen in a brutal totalitarian dictatorship.

In Russia, they fall out of 5th story windows.


Abides1948 t1_ja9plaw wrote

One man, one vote.

Putin is that one man.


GrumpyCatStevens t1_jaadm09 wrote

"Those who cast the vote decide nothing. Those who count the vote decide everything."

- Josef Stalin


TeoSupreme t1_ja9ug87 wrote

last time they announced that he won by 146% of votes. and this is not a joke. i've seen it with my own eyes


Litmus44 t1_ja9ibb9 wrote

All men are equal but some men are more equal than others. Guess that’s Putin then.


LeodFitz t1_ja9v0gh wrote

As Terry Pratchett would say: "Russia believes strongly in the 'one man, one vote' philosophy. Putin that man, and he gets that vote."


omnibossk t1_jaa26h0 wrote

Sad that this is no joke.


borazine t1_ja9s60c wrote

Exit polls indicate 103% in favour of Putin, with a margin of error of 3%.


United-Emu-6654 t1_jabk5ff wrote

This one isn't really a joke - when he was running for 3rd term, a few days before the election the ruling party's brochure was leaked, saying "Today people of Russia together as one showed they ultimate support to Vladimir Putin blah blah blah.." He got 64% days later


Rogalicus t1_jabuuf6 wrote

In 2008 advertising was even more direct. "March 2 — election of the president Dmitry Medvedev"


ImpiousVamp t1_jaacbpp wrote

This isn't really a joke is it? Try r/facts.


EnvironmentalDeal256 t1_jabudtn wrote

Anyone who disagrees will fall out of a fourth floor window.


LazyiestCat t1_jac1wgx wrote

I thought it was 5th floor.... oops walking past 4th floor window arrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhh


JACKVK07 t1_ja9vres wrote

Don't be Rushin' to results just yet.


Testsubject276 t1_jaazcj8 wrote

As for his opponent, we are sad to announce that he has committed suicide in approximately 10 minutes from now.


Disastrous_Night_80 t1_jabjb64 wrote

They will run it like old style Soviet election. You put "DA" in one box or they put you in the other one


Mikesaidit36 t1_jabouj1 wrote

Funny, because in the States, the Russiapublicans announce election fraud before the elections, and have been undermining elections for 20+ years since they realize their policies aren’t popular enough to get them elected on that basis alone.


Wild_Albatross7534 t1_jaa6z7s wrote

After all, all of his competitors fell out of windows.


WorldlyCupcake5345 t1_jaacth1 wrote

To avoid any semblance of wrongdoing, it's 'only' going to be 99.9%!!


Irrelevance351 t1_jabfay1 wrote

Didn't the same thing happen in Azerbaijan in 2013?


dgrant92 t1_jabk04w wrote

Newly announced: all Putin's opponent's funerals will be in three days hence....thanks for playing! Fox Nooose....


Saiitek t1_jabn470 wrote

I don't get the Joke? I'm 140% sure that's just a story from russia


Early_Permit_2072 t1_jabuy9q wrote

They have a less credible election then china with their single party democracy.


JBYTuna t1_jabvs7l wrote

He always wins!


JustFig2431 t1_jabxhvn wrote

Russia has announced that putin has won the next 10 elections opposition member have either fallen ill or gone missing


Martyvf t1_jac9afe wrote

Sounds like the last American election 😳


Fit_Wolverine7706 t1_jacbs4n wrote

Russian election results declared days before election : Russians believe it.

American election results declared, then votes re counted, double via machines n papers n challenged in courts who endorsed the results : Americans “ Nope we dont believe em”!


Garnetknight t1_jaccg80 wrote

They haven't counted the votes from the "lost" mail trucks yet.


oldnperverted t1_jace3la wrote

Sounds like Illinois in the last governor's race. A Chicago news station announced the winner less than 5 minutes after the pools closed.


ARobertNotABob t1_jacf1jk wrote

All opponents had mysterious falls from windows, so, if there's no competitors, there can only be one winner ...


theprocanvas t1_jacfxsy wrote

It is better than declaring election results 2 months after the election , don’t tell me it didn’t happen in U.S


Henri_Dupont OP t1_jad0p7y wrote

The Kremlin announced their condolences to the family of an important Russian diplomat, who told me this joke, as his plane has unfortunately crashed. They then withdrew the announcement because the plane has not taken off yet.


George7744ll t1_jad3unq wrote

Unfortunately, this is not a joke for us.


Maleficent-Ad-2216 t1_jad83of wrote

And the opponent has committed suicide by tying his hands behind his back and shooting himself twice in the back of the head.


Makubwa51 t1_jae4m43 wrote

Putin learnt from Trump


Bobbyoot47 t1_jaem5ah wrote

All those opposing Putin have died…uhhh….decided not to run.


Eickheister t1_jaescat wrote

In Putins Russia, there is no fear.

Only gravity...


Legba012 t1_jaa6crl wrote

“The results are in, and by a window-I mean, an LANDslide margin….”


feyrath t1_jaazj7h wrote

Can you still join twitter with fake accounts? It'd be funny to join as a fake Trump account and congratulate Putin on his win for the next 20 days or so. Edit: apparently it's 2024 when the election is. so 385ish days. nice.


K16w32a2r4k8 t1_jabqjcf wrote

Yeah, I had a running argument with a fake Trump a few years back.


gdwoodard13 t1_jaclvkc wrote

This sub is for jokes, not world news.


Figaro845 t1_jacxyez wrote

Wow this sub is fucking awful.


Western-Image7125 t1_jaaafh5 wrote

What election? You mean they have elections over there?


gk666 t1_jab7281 wrote

Putin announced that Putin has won


tagjohnson t1_jabo303 wrote

...and Joe Biden has won re-election.


UcanRock2 t1_jac59cz wrote

Sounds like our presidential election in 2020 with Biden 🤣


4eburdanidze t1_jabr5ga wrote

Elections are overvalued. At least smthg is wrong with elections, if guys like GW Bush, Trump or Biden become presidents


peetstaa t1_jaa7v0q wrote

Cool! Trudeau uses the same vote counting technology :)


Zealousideal-Rice568 t1_jaar0v5 wrote

If you think that’s bad just look at the us


WingZeroCoder t1_jab4oyq wrote

There may still be over 25% of the vote left with a rapidly diminishing gap, but by golly, Fox News will call it if they have to break that water main themselves!


phadrus56 t1_ja8z6qu wrote

He must be a Democrat.


thorsbeardexpress t1_jaa0z85 wrote

Funniest part about this is how right wing he is, and that all the election fraud in the US had been committed by repugs. Not to mention the lawsuit showing FoX nEwS knew the steal was all bullshit. But you do you boo boo


AquaCorpsman t1_ja98bq9 wrote

Made me laugh more than the original joke, good job


RecalcitrantHuman t1_ja9axh1 wrote

Tell me Reddit is a liberal hell hole without telling me Reddit is a liberal hell hole.


btambo t1_ja9couf wrote

Yeah. Well then GTFO, don't let the door hit ya....