Submitted by Firewing435 t3_118o70e in Jokes
I called him up I said "Doc im 70 miles from my house"
-Rodney Dangerfield
Comments
Useful_Efficiency645 t1_j9jdvsn wrote
I ran over 5 miles today
Yankee_47 t1_j9jfhcs wrote
Bruh
ballrus_walsack t1_j9mgd6r wrote
Brah
[deleted] t1_j9jixmz wrote
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Hot_Ratio_8439 t1_j9kppy2 wrote
Legend
GoatWarlock t1_j9j4f3i wrote
My neighbor named his dog “grandpa” so whenever he left the house he’d tell people he left his kids with grandpa.
indykarter t1_j9jr0sk wrote
I named my dog Shot. Love the looks when we are at the park and I am repeatedly yelling "Come Shot".
Capt_Den t1_j9mzx92 wrote
😁.. I didn't see that coming
Viv3210 t1_j9lqdew wrote
I called my turtle “the speed of light” just so I can say I run faster than the speed of light
notowa t1_j9k2s39 wrote
I ran over 5 miles today
crash866 t1_j9l4z1j wrote
/r/angryupvote
RedditVince t1_j9jk8rn wrote
That's kind of a short version of his joke.
I am shitty at jokes so I won't try to flesh it out.
DutchOfBurdock t1_j9jkuow wrote
You could just walk us through it...
MegaFartz t1_j9l2zgo wrote
5 miles a day for 2 weeks to be exact
Comfortable-Mood-451 t1_j9i9mw8 wrote
Can you please spell check before you submit?
erikwalnut t1_j9ic9i0 wrote
It’s a quote. That’s how it was said.
slamdanceswithwolves t1_j9ifyu9 wrote
Probably not the “in” instead of “I’m” part
darthdodd t1_j9lto62 wrote
Your a tool
Plastic_Bullfrog9029 t1_j9igf4c wrote
Tool.
[deleted] t1_j9ioa7r wrote
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[deleted] t1_j9ib7ov wrote
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Ogfrebu83 t1_j9ic3zy wrote
It's funny as it is...
Just watch people trying to get it.
Imaginary-Air27 t1_j9iei25 wrote
Should it be "Doc I'm 70 miles from my house"?
Inconceivable_me t1_j9nf0r1 wrote
Wrong. Comma after doc😂
Firewing435 OP t1_j9ieltz wrote
Meh. Dont really care for Proper Punctuation.
BlurryBigfoot74 t1_j9ifgaz wrote
That's not punctuation. That's an entirely different word that makes no sense.
[deleted] t1_j9ifmac wrote
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BlurryBigfoot74 t1_j9ifua4 wrote
N and M are totally different letters here on earth.
Firewing435 OP t1_j9ifzac wrote
🤦 somebody could have pointed that out from the fucking start. I dont always notice my typos
slamdanceswithwolves t1_j9igafv wrote
Wait, now you want us to point out your typos? Pick a lane.
Firewing435 OP t1_j9igf6t wrote
I thought they were complaining about me saying Dont instead of Don't. I didnt realize i typed in by mistake instead of im
slamdanceswithwolves t1_j9igl7p wrote
So punctuation errors are off limits but spelling suggestions are welcome? Forgive me, I’m just getting up to speed.
Firewing435 OP t1_j9igs2r wrote
Its commonplace for me to not use Apostrophes but as in Typing on a cellphone screen typos Happen alot but i dont always catch every single one such as in when its supposed to be in
slamdanceswithwolves t1_j9igunj wrote
Fascinating.
Firewing435 OP t1_j9igxyl wrote
<----Blonde. That should be a perfect explanation for everything
slamdanceswithwolves t1_j9ih0r3 wrote
That arrow is pointing at my hand. Very rude.
Firewing435 OP t1_j9ih2sz wrote
So your hand is Blonde? Thats the perfect joke set up
slamdanceswithwolves t1_j9ij5ni wrote
I think you’ve had enough jokes for one day.
BlurryBigfoot74 t1_j9igjo5 wrote
I was trying to tell you dude.
My lizard brain punches me in the face when I see the wrong word and I just can't let it go. Sorry.
Firewing435 OP t1_j9iglzg wrote
That should've been the Very First comment
[deleted] t1_j9ig4yr wrote
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Lem0n_Lem0n t1_j9if5nx wrote
Yay.. keep drinking oxygen..
Firewing435 OP t1_j9if8c1 wrote
Go Huff Helium
Lem0n_Lem0n t1_j9ifyln wrote
Ought to whisper that softly to me again
chaosperfect t1_j9ihkyn wrote
Respect.
apd543 t1_j9jzttd wrote
Why is everyone giving firewing such a hard time over a typo 🤔.
ethor420 t1_j9ku9h1 wrote
Because they’re so much better
darthdodd t1_j9ltqa5 wrote
Im thinking I like this joke
Firewing435 OP t1_j9lwboc wrote
Look up Rodney Dangerfield, hes HILARIOUS
darthdodd t1_j9lyj4b wrote
I know I’m trolling the spelling Nazi.
DutchOfBurdock t1_j9jkyx6 wrote
I told my doctor it hurts when I touch my leg, it hurts when I touch my arm, it hurts when I touch my face. What could it be, I ask.
Hmm. She says. You've got a broken finger.
orangemisfit1 t1_j9my9zk wrote
This made boomers poop their pants with laughter
hopeoverexperience77 t1_j9pn25e wrote
Hey now!
ThePowerOfStories t1_j9m19dg wrote
This is twice as funny as when it was posted a few days ago with a week and 35 miles.
Firewing435 OP t1_j9mhtcj wrote
This is the Original Joke
crash866 t1_j9ii803 wrote
I named my dog ‘5 miles’ just so I can say I walk 5 miles three times every day.