Submitted by Gaphumbala t3_11dcmj3 in Jokes
Puzzleheaded_Arm6363 t1_jab5qxs wrote
Reply to comment by NahLoso in A farmer drove to a neighbour's farmhouse and knocked at the door... by Gaphumbala
Me neither...but im not a native english speaker. Curious if that's right?
lykabettos t1_jab6e1q wrote
No. The "have" in "will you have sex" cannot be contracted to "will you've sex."
Puzzleheaded_Arm6363 t1_jab6zt3 wrote
Thanks.
Kitarraa t1_jabd85u wrote
It's actually illegal. Breaks brains.
Competitive-Ladder-3 t1_jaceyja wrote
If you pay for dinner ...
redriverrunning t1_jab6uzn wrote
It’s not correct even though it is understandable. “You’ve gone to the store” is a correct usage because “you have gone” is in the present perfect tense and is an appropriate use of the contraction “you’ve.” It isn’t normally used as a contraction for other tenses, such as “will you have” or “did you have” and so on.
Puzzleheaded_Arm6363 t1_jab81ye wrote
Thanks bud.
benji_014 t1_jabhjss wrote
You’ve no idea. It does seem to work in the present tense in some cases. Maybe what’s off about this is that the emphasis rests on the verb that get contracted out, whereas the emphasis in my little example rests on the subject.
iordseyton t1_jacnqxo wrote
'You've no idea' isn't grammatically correct either, it's just less obvious.
You could say 'you have no idea,' or 'you have got no idea' interchangeably.
'You've got no idea' would be a correct contraction.
The reason 'You've no idea' feels correct and 'will you've sex' from the original doesn't is because our brains are trained to sort of skip over, or add in if need be, the existential verbs, like 'is' and 'got.'
NahLoso t1_jab6b4c wrote
AFAIK, you only use "'ve" when the verb "have" is being used as a helping verb. But that may not be a rule. What you did may be grammatically correct but just uncommon.
Puzzleheaded_Arm6363 t1_jab6fc2 wrote
Thank you.
MarvinTheAndroid42 t1_jabejc9 wrote
As people have said, it does not work.
A fun contraction which does work just fine is “I’d’ve”(I would have), which I love. It doesn’t help us here, but it’s something real you can take away.
yeahnothanks12367 t1_jabqtd2 wrote
i understood just fine
rubyredboot t1_jac6tey wrote
All these jabronis are wrong. I know there are grammatical rules you must follow in professional and academic settings, but the only rule in English is that it must be understandable. All other rules are rubbish.
magusdevil t1_jadfsox wrote
Tis what tis.
archit1405 t1_jab7qq3 wrote
Even the OP isn't a native. And he's American
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